It's been an interesting week at Thiruvannamalai, it always has something new to offer on a platter. I would believe getting personalized attention towards enhancing my spiritual thirst has brought me a long way. It was on my janma nakshatram that I was advised to do the 27 rounds of circum-ambulation around Nandi, and finally whisper my wish into His ear.
27 rounds around Nandi was a small walk through my life. Nandi sat in silent meditation, dhyanam - a state of eternal bliss. A state I wonder whether I would ever achieve. It woud be such intoxication to sit permanently in front of the Lord, facing him, a constant conversation in silence with no disturbance from the outside world. Nandi, silent in Dhyanam was probably unaware that I made silent rounds around Him wishing every minute I was in His place.
27 rounds, flashed my life around me, as I watched myself walk around the temple alone, in the darkness looking at ancient walls, whisper into my ears that there is a lot more within those walls and I have just about started to scratch the surface. Each step forward, felt like I was leaving the world of misery behind. Each breath, fresh and pure into a realm untouched.
27 rounds that were watched by sadhus around the temple wondering who I was and what I was doing. A slight disbelief that a woman clad in jeans and t-shirt can be "religious". A slight curiosity that looks might be deceptive, that we might lead strange lives and appear western in attire but are pretty much traditional at heart.
27 rounds around an ancient temple that has been renovated a million times over and now disfigured bearing no resemblance to its original self. Yet a silent aura around it brings back the rhythm of drums in my ears and makes my feet dance to its tunes. It was a dark evening, no moon, but enough light to give a feel of the hill towering behind me, protecting me from all known dangers.
27 rounds, each round like worship to the 27 forms of the Lord, of which I have just begun to discover Him slowly, one form after the other. Pleasant forms, fierce forms, meditative and enigmatic, all rolled into One. Lord Shiva - gentle, caring, warm, forever protecting and calm. Silence drapes the walls of the temple, each tassel laced by moths and spider webs, permanent residents of this small heavenly abode. How I wish I could have remained here for ever.
Finally I stood in front of Nandi, holding up my hands on his horns, and looking at the divine form of the Lord through the window of his heart as I placed my other hand above His tail. Oh Nandi, I wish to be as lucky as you some day. To stare at the Lord forever, in complete dhyanam, complete conciousness.