Conversations with the Dead

With every passing day of life and despite the integral presence of the mundane, (which is nice but I don’t always appreciate it) the thought that I am here for a limited period of time has not failed to cross my mind several times. I am still trying to grapple with the purpose of life, the basic reason for my existence and of course where am I headed from here. 

I have been immersed in the sacred scriptures, they are the source of all wisdom that has percolated into my mind. They are extremely enlightening in their poetic realm and yet I feel the lacuna, that I am not doing enough to answer this very deep and pertinent question. It has been even louder ever since two individuals left their earthly states, one who I loved dearly and one who I didn’t. They both affected me, in good and not so good ways. One ensured she remained relevant emotionally to me and the other ensured she messed with me completely, not intentionally though. They have left without a trace, owing nothing to the world and probably never to be remembered again. They had little to share materially and yet they had a significant impact on my mind.. the living mind. To keep it simple, let me refer to them as the good one and the lost one. 

What intrigues me is not just their exit, but the way they left their earthly sheath. The good one led a life of authority, keeping her herd together, ensuring the “family” didn’t break into nucleus bits. She guarded her fort ensuring no trouble from the outside and ensuring no trouble from the inside though she did come with a bus load of bias. She made rules and we toed the line. For all her autocracy which did get to her children at some point as they took pleasure in letting her know she needed to withdraw rather than govern, she did what she had to despite the inner opposition. Blamed, defamed and shot at almost every day, she ensured her pack stayed close to her taking all the brickbats in her stride. What mattered to her was a homogeneous family though that rule had started to fade quite a bit. What may have looked like an old age of turmoil, culminated into the most peaceful death within half an hour. She suffered no disease, she simply gave in to the call of death when it came… yes she had been waiting, we all had been waiting. She had not been super spiritual, she had deep attachments and she ensured she fed that desire well. She had outlived her time and yet it was the most peaceful exit that unfolded in front of our eyes. I held her hand one last time before she turned cold, she had left but her body remained plugged in at the hospital… just the mass of flesh breathing, the consciousness that was her had found its way out of her earthly sheath already.

In contrast, the lost one had been nothing but a trouble maker and maybe she didn’t even know how much of a trouble maker she was. She had given sleepless nights to many, created chaos in households and believed she wasn’t wrong at all. Spinster till death, she proclaimed to be the mystical one, the spiritual one and yes, we have crossed swords in the past. She defined her life differently, scoffed at the institution of marriage and the fall out that are children. Men were still her prey, and she craved for that attention. And yet, spiritualism for what ever reason was her definition of who she was. A master at communication with a charm that I could die for, yes she had a presence that couldn’t be ignored no matter how much I tried to push her out of my world. She came to haunt me in the weirdest of ways. For the spiritually inclined and one who had dedicated her life to Arunachala, apparently, her passing was a hell only she would have known how much she was subjected to. Lonely, misguided and with a host of physical ailments she fought her last war with the God of death, screaming her way through uncontrollable pain before she succumbed. She left me even more baffled, as the news of her last days trickled into my world. How or why was a person so mesmerised by the spiritual given such a torturous death? 

It has been a while since the passing of these two women, and yet their last days remains etched in my mind, keeps me speechless and makes me wonder about what impact the nature of the passing has with respect to the life we have chosen to lead. I wouldn’t believe it if we said, we have no control… we have all the control, we just need to define how we want to use it. It would be naive to believe that the one who was seeped in attachment of the family should have been granted a more painful death than the one seeped in spiritualism. And yet the reverse logic made me sit up and think, what exactly is the purpose of life and does it have an impact in the method of what death is inflicted on us. Death has intrigued me a lot more than life, and I have contemplated endless hours on the connect between these two realities. The life I live is incidental, what I make of my death is more important. And if I have to ensure the peaceful exit that I crave for, what would it take to fix the remaining of my life while the clock ticks on. 

I am still thinking, while the loud mundane shows its glamorous self to me I am trying very hard not to be enamoured by its presence. The silence that beats within my mind while I watch the chaos outside, is something I want to explore more… the answer lies there. I am here, you are here, we have a relationship undefined. Is there more to this connect or are we just spending our time coping with the mundane around us… its a decision we need to take, now, seriously to ensure a little that we have some answer to our earthly presence before we let go this sheath. The question really is do we fight the Lord of death, or embrace him. 

Reflections on the Trinity - Trimurti Shiva

I breathe in the fresh air, I feel the pure dew in my palm. I look up in Surya Namaskaram to the Sun God and my heart sings out the Aditya Hrudayam.

Esha brahma cha Vishnuscha shiva skanda prajapathi|
Mahendro, dhandha kalo yama somo hyapam pathi ||

The sun climbs the clear sky, the warmth bathes my soul. He is Brahma, He is Vishnu, He is Shiva and He is Skanda. He is the progenitor of the human race, He rules the celestials, He rules the devas, He is that which shines in the gold of Kubera, He rules life in all the worlds known. He is kala, He is time, He sets in our minds at the time of death, He rises again mirrored in the moon.

I see the presence of Trimurti, I breathe in this fresh air and I look up to the sun. In this bright light I see the Trimurti shining down on me.

***

I sit in silent meditation, lighting this lamp with its wick dipped in a pool of pure ghee. Lighting the match as I ignite this flame and hold it up, my mind is silent and I hear the sacred words.

Deepamjyothi Parabrahma|
Deepamjyothi Janardhana||
Deepo me hara tu paapam|
Deepaa Jyothir Namostute||

In this light I worship Lord Brahma, in this flame I worship Lord Vishnu (Janardhana), in this flame I burn my sins and to this flame I bow, to the great Lord Shiva.

I see the presence of Trimurti, I imbibe their essence present in this flame. I light this sacred fire in my heart before I commence my prayer to Lord Shiva. This flame I light every morning, this flame I light at sunset, with this flame I welcome, the Trimurti to reside in my home.

***

I look up at Lord Shiva, I look up at the Linga. The divine form remains etched in my mind as my heart worships the trinity.

I worship the Linga, this beautiful form at the Brahma Bhaga which I cannot see.
I worship the Linga, this grace present on earth as it rises in front of me as the Vishnu Bhaga
I worship this Linga, at its head where lies the essence of all energy that lies here capsuled, that controls this universe at the Rudra Bhaga.

I witness the presence of Trimurti Shiva in this form, that envelopes the three Great Gods - Brahma, Vishnu and Shiva - into the single form of Sadashiva.

***

This moment is sacred, this moment is pure and this moment is everlasting as I raise this Vivla to offer to the Lord in worship.

Moolatho brahma roopaya, madhyatho Vishnu roopini|
Agratha shiva roopaya, Eka bilwam shivarpanam||

I offer this leaf of Vivla to Lord Shiva, this leaf so pure and divine. I hold this leaf with Lord Brahma resides at its base, Lord Vishnu who resides in the stem and Lord Shiva who resides at its top. With my soul enveloped in this divine leaf, I offer this leaf without any flaw to the Lord and with this I pray for perfection.

Such a perfect leaf, with each left part denoting Surya, Chandra and Agni. How potent and pure is this leaf that has the trinity residing within it.

***

The Lord stands on apasmara, the Lord stands one legged crushing my ignorance. The Lord Ekapada Shiva stands as the Trinity, as Trimurti Shiva who rises with Lord Brahma and Lord Vishnu on his side.

Shivam Shantham jagnannatham|
Lokanugraha karakam||
Shivamekapadam nithyam|
Shikaraya namo nama||

This is the Panchakshara, a part of which is the letter Shi, To Lord Shiva who resides in its essence. Who is the keeper of peace and who preserves this world and all its creation. Who creates life in the form of Brahma, who preserves life in the form of Vishnu and who releases the soul in the form of Shiva. To the great Lord Trimurti Shiva I bow.

The all pervading Lord Shiva Trimurti echoes everywhere around me, in the morning sun, in the flame of the lamp I light, in the very form of the Linga worship, in the pure vilva leaves I offer in prayer. He resides deep within my intellect as Ekapada Shiva, crushing my ego to uplift my being.

Chaunsat yogini temple, Bheraghat Jabalpur

Strange temples that beat the canons of popular architecture echo the presence of an esoteric cult of the Mother Goddess in the form of "Chaunsat Yogini" shrines. Though the cult of the Goddess has survived in a more favorable way of ritual worship, few examples bring to life the extreme form of this worship during the 8th to 12th cen A.D.

In the darkness along the gushing course of the Narmada River, atop a hill in the silence of the moonless night a lamp is lit. The fire of the lamp lights up the faces of 64 Yoginis within the walls of a great temple, the temple of the Goddess. Shakti trasforms into power here, she is pure feminine beauty, she is sexuality and she is life. Raw female power is awakened within these walls of a circular roofless temple and as the ritual unfolds, these graceful yoginis begin to dance. These forms of the Goddess are full breasted and voluptuous with slim waists as they move with grace exuding beauty as the Sadaka worships their many forms, imbibing the very element of Shakti into his experience of the Goddess. As the Chausathi Mahamayavi Tantra and the Chandi Purana of the 15th century composed by Sarala Das describe through folk songs of the era, these yoginis constitute the different parts of the body of the Mother Goddess herself.

Chaunsat Yogini temple interior, Bheraghat

As the night deepens, the winds dance with the flames presenting a divine spectacle. Shiva leela, of a more potent kind spreads through the air within the walls of this temple. 64 beautiful yoginis pronounce the woman in all her grace and beauty to Bhairava, the form taken in by the Sadaka. Casting dancing shadows on the rocky temple floor, these 64 yoginis dance around Shiva and take up their place and sit in Lalitasana within the circle of Bhairava (3 in red in top right corner in the picture below).

Seduction gushes forth as these Goddesses come alive, dressed in flowing skirts held together by an ornate girdle worn low on their hips. Shimmering necklaces and garlands cover their chests, as the sounds of their bangles and anklets in sweet notes fill the air. 64 yoginis, charge the air as they dance around Bhairava, their elaborate hairdo pronouncing their lush beauty, their earrings shimmering in the light of the fire that wakes the sleeping night within this temple. Their lotus eyes bring sweetness to their beings, grace to their forms and warmth to their presence. Bhairava, the potent Lord dances with them within his circle, the Chakra of life, it is an experience for the living. This is the world of the tantriks, this is the world of Bhairava Shiva as the fire cuts through the darkness bringing on the experience of the Goddess divine.

Chaunsat Yogini temple, Hirapur

The aspirant goes into deep meditation, invoking the yoginis as he performs his rituals. Bhairava dances on, waking up the essence of Kuala Marga. The attainment of perfection is the path to Siddhi, one that brings perfection and a higher spiritual bliss of a different kind. The conquest of power and the taming of the Goddess's wilderness, the harnessing of her Supreme beauty into energy render the Sadaka powerful. Five elements are offered to the Yoginis, Matsya (fish) first followed by Mamsa (meat), Mudra (parched grain) and Madya (liquor) and finally Maithuna (couples in intercourse). The juices of life are offered to the yoginis at the culmination of this ritual. The depth of Tantrik sadhana is reached and the energies are imbibed by the aspirant as the 64 yoginis look on from within their niches.

The air is still, the lamp light is feeble, as the floor is flooded with the ritualistic syllables of the Goddesses. This magical world descends into darkness. Most yogini temples have the dancing Bhairava fiercely rendering his presence at the center of the courtyard. Here he dances with the 64 damsels through the night. At the temple of Bheraghat, Lord Shiva descends within the temple, seated with his beautiful consort Parvati on the back of Nandi Bull in the central shrine as they make their way into the tantrik rituals of this temple.

Bheraghat is one of 9 temples that dot the Indian landscape. Other Yogini Shrines are at Hirapur, Ranipur Jharial, and Khandriya Mahadeva temple Khajuraho to name the most prominent. There are dilapidated structures that dot the countryside of Orissa, Madhya Pradesh and Tamil Nadu.

These temples redefine a strange cult practice that involved human sacrifices and offerings of blood, or the use of fresh corpses out of war (Dead kings, soldiers and warriors) and ritual practices of a tribal (Adivasi) kind that invoke the power of Kali and Mahakala Bhairava of the ancient Tantrik tradition. These 64 yoginis have also been grouped into 8 supreme Goddesses known as the Astamatrika. Interestingly in these temples even Ganesha has a feminine form - Ganeshani (bottom right in red in picture above).

Ganeshani at Bheraghat

These ritual practices have probably died with time or have moved back into the tribal villages of Orissa. What remain are powerful eerie temples that reflect the fury and tantrik power of Shiva Bhairava and the Mother Goddess.

Related posts:
64 Yoginis dance with Bhairava
Potency of Lord Shiva – Part 2
Ekapada Shiva - The one legged Shiva

Photo Courtesy:
ganapati.club.fr/mp/images