Search for the real Guru

I have had many people ask me whether I have a guru, whether I have been initiated, and whether I have had spiritually uplifting experiences. While I can sense their curiosity, it has not been very easy to answer these questions. I understand that we all want to know "the path", we want to learn it fast and we are not ready to be careful about treading this path. There is hunger to want to know, in some people its a lot more intense.

I have been initiated into Shiva worship in the traditional Brahmanical order. While having studied quite a few of the influential paths of Shaivism, namely the cults of Aghories, Tantriks and Virashaivas I have come to understand them as a whole as well as individually. I respect them and their methods though I might not necessarily take to the path myself until that Sadhana is a must for my own salvation with no other alternative. There are disturbing elements in each of these paths when observed in their unadulterated potency and its for our mind to accept the ways of the world or reject it and face repercussions both good or bad.

But Sadhana typically starts with the initiation from a Guru. They say we shouldn't search for him but he will come on his own to us. Well, does the waiting get tough then? That's probably the time we resort to following self proclaimed Gurus in today's world and hope to find peace in their teachings. What's missing in such cases is the personal attention we want in these cases. What we don’t realize is, when we are not "ready" the Guru will never come. Preparation for a Guru is most important to get started. 

The first Guru we come in contact with in our lifetimes are our parents. They set the ball rolling giving us insight into the prescribed path that we would most probably take through our lives and seldom change it. And hence the first initiation has begun. There is no ritual in particular except for the male child maybe. Our search for the next Guru begins when we come to the age of understanding life. We want to dive deeper and understand the science better, of what is possible within our capacity.

The typical route from here is the confused path of ritual worship - a disciplined methodology of dos and don’t with no reasoning to explain why. While on one side the heart encourages this, the mind looks for logical reasoning which might not be immediately apparent. The questions arise and sure enough they don’t have convincing answers. Do we at this point hang on to the path or change or give up and look for the undefined universal God?

In my opinion understanding ritual worship is like learning a language. We don’t understand the nuances of grammar or the idiosyncrasies, yet we hold on to it hoping we will make good masters of it some day. We do not reject language because we didn’t attempt to learn it.

In my personal experience and understanding, at this stage its good to hold on to ritual worship and follow it consistently even if we don’t understand it initially. Its up to us to read up and dig deep to understand what we are doing, rather than doing it mechanically and feel like a parrot reciting mantra. We most often expect someone else to teach us the meaning and do not find a reasonable Guru to explain this vast science; we have little time to do this on our own.

If we do this right, there is a good chance of attaining a spiritual high at this point, reaching a level of sublime experience with the supreme in a small way and getting enchanted by the turn of events in our lives. This is probably the time we are taking to prepare ourselves for the Guru's arrival into our lives. Following the ritual path is a must to go to the next step, but it is effective only when we approach it with Bhakti rather than mechanical action with no comprehension of what we are doing.

The next misconception is that the Guru will show up in human form and speak to us in a language we speak in. Thats where we make the biggest mistake. The first criteria of eligibility towards getting a Guru, is that we in our individual capacity are prepared to be a pupil.

The true pupil has single pointed intense faith in a path with no room for deviation. This path is well understood by him/her and not a result of mass teaching of the community they belong to. At this stage, the pupil is ready to disassociate from the community [herd culture] and walk towards the lonely path of self realization. The pupil understands detachment as a reality, and though they might be in the midst of people, they move towards looking at them with detached compassion rather than possessive love and expectations. This feeling of course is not as overwhelming in the beginning as it is at the end of this path, but the pupil gets to feel the crux of what is expected. The pupil has now decided while living in the middle of this chaos, they don’t quite belong to it anymore and the journey towards understanding the inner self now becomes a breathing reality. The pupil is ready to surrender to the supreme force.

In the silence of their mind, in the void of their being and in complete surrender, the pupil awaits the arrival of the Guru. If luck has it, the Guru will be present in human form at that time. The gyana of the way ahead is mostly transmitted through touch or sight or in silence but never through speech as sound is a lesser path of communication. If the Guru is not physically present, the gyana is arrived at in the mind. It just happens, and the pupil is subconsciously directed by the power of the thoughts they harbor in the mind. This is when the pupil transitions from religion to spiritualism. From here on ritual has no value, it has led the pupil to the doors of the master.

The Guru appears in the subtle world of their mind to direct them and lead them in their path. The path is never easy and surely has no room for personal bias. It can test the pupil through tough times, with unhappy experiences to force the pupil to detach from what is around them or it could be through comfort as well. Either way, the pupil realizes that what is around them in the exterior world doesn’t matter any more - both good and bad. They have now learned to accept all the twists and turns in their lives.

One of the most mysterious forms of experiencing the presence of a Guru in a "non human form" is the sculptural depiction of Adi Shankaracharya at Kedarnath. While to most people it might have looked like a symbolic representation of his Dandam, this form of his hand holding the sacred symbol of the Shankara, is believed to appear in the mind's eye when a pupil worships this Guru. 

In this search for the supreme, when the Guru accepts us as an eligible pupil and the divine education begins, this experience is far more overwhelming than any other we may have experienced before in our lifetimes. It is potent, magical, and mysterious and strictly rule driven and supersedes all the scientific theories we have come across so far. This is a different reality, unexplored and excitable on a different plane. The Guru transforms into a God like being and leads the way, while we - the pupil - pick up the reins of Bhakti and ride on this path to supreme bliss.
 

The silent Tara of the night - Tarapith

 

She walks the earth
The silent Goddess,
Mother of the cremation ground

Mother to the Lord himself
The blue hued one
In the moonless night

Her anklets resound
Sweet notes of a damsel

Mystical in her form
Fierce and powerful within

Ma Tara, the real,
the powerful, the mystical,
I bow to you in all reverence.

Local legends believe that the third eye of Goddess Sati hit the earth at Tarapith, but strangely this shrine didn't make it to the list of 51 shakti peethas. Tarapith might not be as well known beyond the shores of Bengal but within this region there are still loud cries of ancient tantricism brimming with life. Shrouded in the dense mysticism of ancient tantric practices lies a small temple to the north of Bengal. Believed to be graced by the heavens to have the third eye of Sati fall on its earth, this little temple came into existence based on a few obscure events. 

Insulted at the great sacrifice of Daksha, Sati entered the fires of death to perish in the very flames of purity that emanated from her. This event shook the universe for it left Lord Shiva, infuriated by the act of Daksha. He scaled the landscape wailing over the death of his beloved, carrying her corpse along with him, never to let go. Lord Vishnu took the final step and sent his discus to destroy what remained of her. With dizzying speed it cut through the air, tearing the dead flesh of the Goddess, she fell, scattering herself across the sacred earth of bholoka, on prithvi at 51 divine locations. Here fell her third eye, the power of enlightenment, the power of life, the essence of all siddhas...Tara pith came brimming to life, completely magical, intoxicating, powerful...

Vermilion defines her world, kumkum marks her presence. She had descended into this world dressed in the deep hues of vermilion, adorned in hibiscus and her favorite meal is flesh and blood. She is the the silent energy that wakes up in the night and dances in the cremation ground among the dead, among the fires. Tara, she has such a pleasant name, such a potent form and yet such a deadly look, so fierce that she could destroy all evil in a single glance. She walks the earth in silence, she is the prime resident of the cremation ground. She came alive as a mother to rid Lord Shiva off the poison he consumed to save the universe. She suckled him as a new born and nourished him with cool milk, and she empowered him with life.

Her long tresses flow down, covering her very being. In her heart she carries the Great Lord of the universe as a baby. She is fierce in appearance with disheveled hair and yet she has such warmth towards him as an infant. Tara, also known as Shamshan tara resides at Tara pith, the only sacred temple that makes the cremation ground its sacred home. While the fires turn all that is impure to dust, isn't it strange that the only way to enlightenment, the synonym of pure faith and salvation is in the unknown and unthinkable path of vama marga.

The sweetness of the Mahavidyas, the potency of feminine power coupled with the mysterious presence of the sacred goddesses who are the essence of all consciousness - shakti is not just energy, she is a mysterious world far more powerful than what meets the eye. She rises in the night, her meal is flesh and bone, her thirst is quenched by liquor, her garden is the burning ground, her ornaments are the limbs of the departed, her blinding truth is the strength to overcome death, her weapon is that which kills all fears. And this is visible in the lifestyle of all those who live by her side.

They are the living tantrics who have no home, nor fear nor food. They live on what the burning ghats offer them. They live with this stark reality all the time, death is a common site and sadhana is a regular part of their lives. Tarapith is the host of this wilderness, a shrine where there is little room for you and me. Here is a zone, where fewer thoughts reside, illusions of life silently die and immortality is defined not by progeny but the reality of one's own consciousness.

In the dense haze of this ignorance do I thirst to know the true form of the Goddess that awakens the mysteries of the night. The moon shines out and in its pleasant light does she shine, Oh the blue hued goddess hungry again for her drop of blood. Oh Tara Devi, do reveal to me the sacred yet secretive path that attracts me to you. May I see beauty even in your terrific being, may I see light in your twinkling deep blue eyes. May i feel your presence in the crackling flames of the cremation grounds by the night, may I breath this potent air refreshed with your presence. I bow to you oh Mother, to your beauty and to your fury, to your feminine potency, to your dazzling form, bathe me with your light, with your presence, with your life.

||Ghora roope mahamaaye sarvashatruvashamkari
Bhaktebhyo varade devi traahi maam sharanaagatham||

KAraikkAl AmmaiyAr - a woman among the 63 Nayanmars

Karaikkal Ammaiyar, 6th Century.

The highlight of Ammaiyar's story is that she asked Lord Shiva for a boon, one that would reduce her youth to a skeleton, demonic in appearance and would cease to be a distraction in her eternal devotion to the Lord.

The mysterious element in this Nayanmar's life is that her songs to the Lord are of a specific flavor, that brings alive an aspect of Shaivism fairly unknown in these times - the Aghori path of Shiva belief. As her story reveals, she was given 2 mangoes by her husband to keep safely so that he could have it during his meal. Reference has been made to a Shiva yogi who visited their house in his absence and she gives him one of the fruits with curd rice.

Drawing parallels, the Mangani Tirunal festival observed on Purnima in the month of Aani in Tamil Nadu, is a time when this incident is re-enacted and people are served mangoes and curd rice, the belief being that it was Shiva Bhikshatana who roamed around the world collecting alms and reached the door of KAraikkAl Ammaiyar. Shiva Bhikshatana's appearance can be paralleled with the aghori babas and naga baba's appearance where he is a naked mendicant, the difference being, he is also extremely sensuous and attractive.

Coming to some of the verses sung by KAraikkAl AmmaiyAr, her descriptions of Shiva Bhikshatana or Shiva Rudra residing in the cremation ground, render a stomach churning experience should one try to visualize this form!

Quoted from the " thiruviraTTai maNimAlai"

His matted hair of ruddy gold is adorned
With Konrai flowers which are buzzed and kindled
By chafers; there the serpent of venomous sacs stands hissing:
Such is He, the long-haired Brahmin.
He is indeed the Lord who will not passively witness
The misery of worshippers who hail Him

*Konrai: Cassia ; Indian Laburnum
*chafers: a type of beetle

O heart, for ever hail Him who is Sankara, the One
Of matted hair that dangles low, the righteous One who
On that matted hair sports a soaring serpent and the One
Who on that day saves you from the onslaught of misery.

* that day is the day of one’s death

Other forms of Shiva that are made references to:

Tripurantaka Shiva;
In the world of eternal bliss, do what I bid you.
He, the Hero annihilated the triple citadels of His-foes;
He is eight shouldered, Bow, with delay none, at His feet
Which are like pure and fresh gold; be poised
In His worship for days without end.

Neelakantha Shiva:
He is the Lord of the supernal world; His asterism is betelgeuse;
His throat is dark with the aalaalam that He ate; they that chant
His mystic pentad—the chief of mantras--, adore Him and come by
The true import, can (alone) behold His feet of ruddy gold.

aalaalam: Halaahalaa poison that oozed out during the churning of the ocean.

O Righteous Lord that wears the heroic anklet!
The dry and strong-mouthed ghouls standing sing Your praise;
Bhootas stand and adore You; the great crematory is
Your theatre where You dance and dance. How is it
That You sped an arrow from Your bow and caused
The triple citadels of the Asuras to get gutted with fire?

How are we to attain Him in love?
The snake that dances on His person
Will suffer none to come near it;
Moreover, all that we behold before us
Are only a row of skulls and white bones.
Besides He but rides, in delight, a bull.

The description of the cremation ground, the theater where he performs has been vividly described in the another song of KArraikAl AmmaiyAr. Such a description brings alive the other side of the cremation ground, one that we humans do not get to witness, one that KArraikAl AmmaiyAr is a part of, in possible disbelief to the mortal world as she narrates what she sees.

Excerpts from the thiruvAlangATTu mUththa thiruppadhikam:

Fat melts and wets the ground, and the long toothed and sunken eyed ghouls observe this and enact the dance of tunangkai. They look around and put out the fire of the pyres eating the corpses to their hearts content and feel delighted, it is in such a fitting crematory, holding fire in his hand that the handsome Lord dances.

Jackals tug and draw away the stinking white heads punctured by birds, owls raise a hue and cry, owlets wave their wings, barn owls stare down and frighten those who look at them, and foxes howl around in great urgency. Such is this great charnel house, and it is here that the great Lord desires to perform his dance.

It was a corpse that a ghoul was not sure of as it advanced and pointed a finger at it screaching aloud. The ghoul roared and threw a fire at it yet not being sure of what it was. Frightened by the corpse, the ghoul ran far and beats its own stomach in bewilderment, observed by many other ghouls who took to their feet in sheer fear. It is in such a crematory that the Lord in the guise of a mad man dances.

Scorched by the rising flames, charred is the firewood, brains seep out of broken crania, cacti wilt in the heat, such is the fierce crematory where the wood apple trees abound, it is indeed his place of rest. It is in this wilderness that the Lord dances, with tiger skin as his girt and a spotted antelope dangling off his shoulder, he lights up this stage with his dance of destruction.

He sports the crescent moon on his matted hair, he forever dances his twirling dance, his waist is girdled with a serpent. Who ever by His grace is able to sing and dance out the poetry of KAraikkAl Pey(ghost), one with a fiery mouth and sharp teeth, who abides in the crematory will be freed of all sins.

This is the reality of the cremation ground, a description so vivid of activities when humans leave the bodies of the dead to burn by night. As jackals depict Shakti in the form of Kali Nayan Tara, and Lord Shiva dances among ghouls who feast on corpses as they witness his fiery movements, this world beyond death is a narrative that we capture in bhakti of a very different kind.

The life and immortal presence of this Nayanar, reveals that bhakti knows no bias, that love and music for the Lord can be found even in the wierdest of places where fear reigns supreme. Her narrative reveals a world beyond us, where the nature of ghosts includes that of feeling fear and joy, where their meal is absorbing the nurishment of burning corpses, where their company is that in the presence of foxes, jackals and owls in an ambience of the night as the crackling fire eats into wood and human remains perishing in the flames bringing alive the terrific world of Aghora.

Read her complete story.

Related topics:
Shamshan Tara, a form of Kali
Kalighat - Where death meets you face to face
Kalika Mata at Kalighat, a sacred Shakti Peetha
Taraka Mantra - Passage to heaven
Manikarnika Ghat: Where life meets the world beyond

Content courtesy: shaivam.org
Picture courtesy: Metropolitan museum of Art, natarajar.blogspot.com