Reflections on the divine Guru

In this world of noise
I am left speechless
In this space within my mind
I am plundered by a million thoughts
In this journey to realize you
Am I lost in a sea of desires
In this search for enlightenment
I fall through the darkness of ignorance
Hounded by all my fears
I cling on to this single flame of divine faith
In the blackness of my reality
I look up to you, O Guru,
to help and guide me through

This is my world, suffocating, with thoughts undesired and endless events creatively stitched together by fate to make me realize the futility of this life and yet I get sucked into their elaborate web of occurrences. I jump from one event to the next accepting some and rejecting others with uncontrolled emotions, cursing the Gods for my existence, wishing every moment that it may be made better.

With a heavy heart I look at this lamp, whose warm flame flickers unconditionally bringing light into my otherwise dark world. There it is, so gentle and warm, so pure and calm as it glows on. It is a tiny drop of whiteness, of a heavenly bright light that seems to magically appear when I desire and disappear when I dont care enough. It has the power to light up my room, and even more, it lights up the darkness in my life. This is the divine light that shows me the path to the other side, more promising and magical than my predictable existence in this world.

I have been on that path before, it enchanted me with its beauty, with startling revelations and with divine promises of a mystical universe unknown to anyone who dares not take this path. It gave me peace and yet a strange excitement to look forward to more experiences of a different kind. Strewn with hardships, nerve racking experiences that could leave me destroyed for life; it dotted my world with small miracles that intoxicated my soul and gracefully ship me across to the other side.

Ah! What a world it is, embedded deep within my head with experiences changing the landscape of my thoughts making me believe that my imaginary world inside was fueled by these strange events outside, making me truly believe in this magic of life. As I faded away from the world of other people around me, as I drifted into my being, the world outside feels like a fruitless tree withstanding the illusion of torturous times.

I want my world back again, I want my divine Lord to dance holding this light of joy, this fire of divine knowledge. I want to feel his energy, his swaying presence in my heart lighting up the million flames of enlightenment deep within my soul. In the silence of this world, I want to listen to the rhythmic beat of his feet, look up in awe towards him and quench my mind's desire to observe him as his jatas sway and his damaru beats along as he moves.

I stare into the flames of this lamp, into the whiteness of this light, into the glow of its presence, and worship its power as the creator, preserver and destroyer of all that thrives in its presence.

Oh Lord, my divine Guru, guide me through these times and bring me back to this path of love and divine grace. Help me contemplate and reflect on your divine presence and fill my mind with your divine thoughts.

To this divine light, to the great Guru who shines in its flames, I bow in reverence hoping to see your true form some day.