A Tryst with Faith

Yes, it’s been the year of Jagannath, the year of Kamakshi Amman and Tara Ma, the year of the great lord Shiva himself. Call it a twist of fate that in the last few months I got tossed into Bhuvaneswar on work, or was it a pretext to a greater reality unseen by the rest of the mortal world. 

Lord Shiva was my prime focus, and His sheer presence in my mind drove me to visit Lingaraja temple where I had the chance to walk into the Garbha Griha and learn more about Him. At the center of the chamber lies the shrine, a low Shiva linga, but with a difference. Lord Vishnu adorned in silver resides on Him. To my surprise I learned for the first time, this could well be the form of HariHara. Rich with experience I subsequently went to Puri Jagannath, where I came upon Kasi Vishwanath at the entrance. I also learned that the great Guru of Jagannath also resided within these temple walls and to my surprise he was the great Lord Shiva himself in the form of a linga. 

But, there was something else that moved in the mystical world just about the same time, one that I could sense but couldn't quite place my finger on. Emotionally I was exhausted wondering about how I could channelize my high energy emotion of Love and Bhakti. That’s really when Lord Jagannath stepped in, presenting ever so many occasions to repeatedly come and visit Him. He was there to guide, to keep my faith intact and to grant me as many visits as I possibly wanted. And, if there is anything am capable of ... its spiritual greed, I wanted to meet Him, again and again and again, closer and closer each time.

In my first visit apprehension overtook my emotion of divine love, a fear that this beautiful world within my mind would be destroyed by a screaming uncouth panda demanding for dakshina. It’s a mortal fear I have like anyone of you, the only difference was that I was worried because I really wanted to meet the Lord and I was scared it would not work out at all. My focus stayed in place, but my heart didn’t know what to expect. It appears like Lord Jagannath felt my fears and put it to rest when he sent a panda (who I never met after that) to come and guide me into the sacred chamber with gentleness and respect, something that I never expected. I met the Lord close, up close, amazed that I could walk into a garbha griha... no rules, no noise, no demands. 

I came out overwhelmed and went back home fulfilled only to learn later that there was a path of pradakshina I could have taken which I was not aware of. In my next visit, there was little chance of meeting that panda again but as I cursed my stars a friend of mine said she could arrange for another panda, the logistics of which I fixed through the course of the evening. It was a close call, to cover Konark and head towards Puri and find our way back to the airport at Bhuvneshwar, it was clock work and the Lord didn’t disappoint, for he let us walk into his shrine in the early hours of the morning. This time, I requested for the Pradakshina and I was allowed through with my friends. It was an experience to discover more about Lord Jagannath every step of the way, to learn about the temple, to learn about the way of life that surrounds these walls. 

I came out overwhelmed again, breaking down into my emotions partially as I thanked my friend endlessly for helping us through this. This time I saved the panda’s number and informed him I would be back in January to offer my manuscript, my work of art to the Great Lord Jagannath. Come January, I trooped back to Puri, as promised with my heart all set in anticipation wondering whether I would be granted my Jayadeva moment. It was unbelievable to say the least, where Lord Jagannath orchestrated my entry and exit ensuring I didn’t go back with disappointment. Whether it was day or night, whether it was a normal darshan or Shankranthi, whether there was few people or millions who thronged the temple, He made sure I visited him and had a darshan of him up close. When the Lord wishes, we can get the opportunity to bypass a wall of human beings to get a glimpse of him in a packed audience. I came back blessed with his victory flag that flies up high on the finial of the temple. 

Intoxicated and overwhelmed, emotionally saturated I returned yet again to visit him this time, with just one thought in my head.  I may not be able to come so often, and hence I asked the Lord "why don't you come back with me, come with me, reside in my heart, be a part of my being." I do not know what came over me, but the mind was ready and the heart ached and I asked the panda to source a saligrama this time, knowing fully well I was signing up for the ultimate state of orthodox living, and I was prepared to go for it. It was all for my Lord Jagannath.

I went back this time, repeatedly calling up my panda to be reassured that I would get what I had requested for. I had no idea on how it was going to happen but I was ready for NO as an answer anytime... in the mortal world, being a woman, NO comes more often than a YES in the spiritual world. We reached the temple doorway, and walked in silently into the peaceful courtyard. He told us to wait and look at the Lord while the pranapratishta was underway. He came back and handed me a saligrama, wrapped in grains and a red cloth which I safely put into a wooden box I had brought along. I stared at it and looked up questioningly...no shankha, no chakra? He smiled and said it’s the prana of Lord Jaganntha, within this saligrama sila, it’s a Banalinga. It is Lord Shiva himself. 

I stared back into the shrine, I had come a full circle. Lord Shiva and Lord Jagannath had taught me a serious lesson, there was no difference between them for this was the pure form of Harihara. Where the sacred prana of Lord Jagannath resides within a saligrama whose nature is that of Shiva, as a Banalinga. There is no Vaishnavism, there is no Shaivism, there is no separation on such religious or spiritual Gods, this was their swarupam, the primordial nature of supreme energy, a small drop of which rested within my hands for me to take back home. Lord Jagannatha had answered my prayers, as he sent me back to my world of Shiva, but with His life force. 

I realized in these months, in these many darshans of Lord Jagannath, that I had undergone a change, I had matured, spiritually evolved. I had lost every form of attachment to my earthly existence. I had found my divine family, I had reached the abode of my sacred home. I have found my sacred family. This year has been blessed, Kamakshi Amman made me meet her, Lord Jagannath gave me his soul locked in a Banalinga saligrama, Ma Tara awaits me in Tarapith and Lord Venkateshwara awaits me in Tirupati and I have stepped into the next stage of spiritual evolution. Experiencing the completeness of my life with my divine family. 

Supreme presence in the material world

"The Lord is within you" is an old saying that makes us want to believe that the supernatural force governing all life, exists within us as well. There is no disputing this fact, but how and in what form does IT exist in, is worth a discussion. Shaivism has possibly attempted to depict this "not so easily achievable" phenomenon in a more grounded reality with plenty of mysticism thrown in. These are concepts beyond the realm of science and that's probably why they are that much more difficult to explain or understand and are left to our experience to realize them. Simply said, Hinduism in some form attempts to realistically paint the super truth by picking very select material items that would not just represent but would also aid the Sadhaka in achieving their goal.

Kundalini Tantra takes the help of traditional symbology to make various references of the potential experience of the divine Shiva Linga, when a Sadhaka crosses one chakra after the other in their attempt to experience super consciousness. In the Mooladhara the Shiva Linga is represented as a Swayambhu Linga or Dhumra Linga, which is smoky grey in color. The Kundalini Shakti in three and a half coils around this Linga, her luster being as bright and piercing as that of lightening. Could this in reality be a representation of the Parada Linga which is grey in color and made of mercury? Does the worship of the Parada Linga in specific help cross the hurdle of the Mooladhara and cleanse the mind of its instinctive ignorance?

The existence of the Kundalini echoes in almost all temples across India. The three and half serpent coil is what is most often seen within the Garbha Griha of the main shrine, bringing the whole vision of the supreme into these houses of stone that represent our womb, the location where this chakra originates. Does it take divine light and consciousness represented by the brightness of fire to have a glimpse of this reality through the art of arti performed at the shrine?

At the Ajna Chakra the supreme consciousness is represented as a black Linga. This is called the Itarakhya Linga. In this state of consciousness the representation of awareness is a more pronounced version of "What I am". Most Shiva temples represent the form of the Linga in black granite. Were the ancients trying to remind us of our original goal having taken birth in this universe by echoing it across monuments of stone systematically across the land, the root purpose of our life being the realization of Who I Am?

The experience at the Anahata Chakra is that of the inverted triangle of Shakti in burning Akhanda Jyoti, the unflickering eternal flame which is essentially the awareness of the jivatma. In the Tantrik texts this Linga is represented as the Bana Linga. It is believed that the Banalingas in reality are the essence of Shiva and do not require any pranapratishta for their worship. These are superior Linga stones are not are easy to procure.

The Bindu Visarga brings with it the cool experience of the moonlit night with the crescent moon shining in the night sky. The crescent moon represents the drop of ambrosia acquired which elevates the Sadhaka's state to that where material sustenance ceases to exist, they completely disconnect from our world. At this point the cosmic sound of OM is heard within the being of the Sadhaka.

Last and by far the most supreme, is that of the luminous Linga experienced at the Sahasrara Chakra. This is represented by the Jyothir Linga which is formless. This is the state of the void, the nothingness where the Sadhaka ceases to exist in relation to "I". Could this in reality be represented by the Spatika Linga which is transparent, and yet almost invisible?

It amazes me that each Linga experienced in the spiritual journey has possibly been represented in material form through natural stones/metals available in nature. How far deep does this search go, how far beyond is the truth and how much closer can it be if its within me to realize?