I sit in front of His sacred shrine,
My emotions flow like a river of love
My mind fights back with an army of thoughts
My vision keeps my thoughts at bay
My senses focus on that single point
My eyes rest on His form
My voice recites the sacred words
My ears listen to the sweet rhythm
Few moments of concentration is called for when one sits to worship the Lord at home and yet it is difficult to achieve. It is a war within the mind when emotions that stem from deep rooted devotion get challenged by worldly thoughts. It is a fight with the self to discard the world and its people around. It is the biggest challenge to be comfortable alone while one sits to pray at home.
When the world and all its people is but a stray piece of illusion, when the thoughts within the head are but a figment of my imagination, when my mind is put to rest and nothing exists anymore, this is my first renunciation.
It is hard to find peace at a crowded temple, it is hard to ignore the corruption of the priests who is trying to make his ends meet. It is even tougher to forget the world when one is surrounded by a crowd of jabbering devotees.
Yet in this chaos there is peace to be found when I near the sanctum, when I set eyes on the beauty of divinity within these walls. There is sacredness to be felt when I realize this is about me and Him and nothing else really matters. This is my second renunciation.
It is hard to let go off the ego when my knowledge controls me. It is a deadly feeling of superiority when I realize I understand the root principle hidden in scriptures. It is a poison of egoism when I feel I own my thought and wisdom.
Humility is that which is invoked when the Lord gives me a harsh moment to learn this lesson. Praise and song is what comes out of me when I realize my focus is the Lord and not the knowledge I seek. Awakening of the soul happens when I realize the path to divine wisdom is pure love and not accumulated knowledge through books. It is my wish to see the Lord more than being granted my earthly wishes. This is my third renunciation.
The path through spiritualism brings surprises as well as benefits. It can draw the serious devotee to be very powerful and it can reveal its amazing secrets that the world can only imagine. It can transform the devotee into a person who knows little suffering and fear.
In all these enchanting experiences one is left with few to share their feelings with. In this wild ride to heaven there is little to explain that this is Real and everything else is just an illusion. It is even tougher to express oneself when the world doesn't want to listen anymore. This is when one leaves the world behind and follows their own path, with little or nothing to share anymore with anyone, this is my next renunciation.
Peace is when I detach from all, people and things, desires and aspirations. Calm is what I achieve when I realize the purpose of my existence, the value of this life given to me. Desire is what I give up when I realize this is an illusion I am stuck in and its time to let go.
The path of spiritualism has taught me well, showed me the way to an enchanting world that cannot be defined but can only be experienced. The Lord is Real and not just a figment of my imagination. I dream of Him, I talk to Him and I only wish he comes to me and reveals Himself to me. These tests of endurance are just a play of life now, these problems He creates are just a tease to see how I react, these miseries that present themselves are but a way of life. When nothing seems to affect me anymore except that last glimpse of Him before I part, this is my last renunciation.
