The Sati in Me Burns as the Daksha of Fate Looks on...

He is there, far out in the wild, far away from social rule, far away from the plague of human order of living. He is Shiva, the wild one, the living, the intense, the pure, the flawless, the fearless, He is my Shiva. But in this forest of human living, I have lost him in the crowd. I have lost him so bad that I wonder whether he even exists among them...anymore. And yet this heart yearns for the possibility that he exists. 

The wheel of time has turned again, fate has lolled out its ugly head and placed yet another test to me and I have this unsettling feeling am losing this war again, very badly this time. I have a quest, do I have the luck to meet my Shiva in this life.... ever, at all?

This heart is tired of the hunt, this heart is tired of the web of emotions it has caught itself in... this heart just wants to stop beating.

The ambiance of life is set, the great sacrifice is underway and Daksha, the father of my fate has rolled out yet another plan, but this time the sinking feeling is louder. And in the crowd of humanity I cant quite find my Shiva. Where is he and will he protect me, will he come? At the center of this earthly universe is the deep fire of burning human desire, large flames rising up threatening me to dare look for my Shiva in it. The flames are hot, fiery with possessiveness, crackling with anger and greed, raising their fiery arms to grab my poor soul that stares at them dance within the stage of their homa kunda. The black smoke of sorrow, of doubt and of betrayal rises out consuming every one standing there witnessing, sucking their emotions into its flames. Is my Shiva there?

I see people getting consumed in its flames creating illusions of deep emotions. I see people willingly succumbing to its tempting offerings as they dive into its flames, only to feel its real fury. They burn, they shout and groan in their suffering of burns as they writhe in sheer unbearable pain and yet they cant stop themselves from diving, its call is just so strong. This fiery pit is lethal and no one knows what they are signing up to until they take the plunge to only realize how it tricked them by playing into their hearts. And I stand here, trying so hard not to fall into this deadly pit of burning desire.

Daksha is watching in silence, as the fire rises to consume people, consume their minds, consume their hearts and consume their souls into sorrow, into hate, into anger... oh what is the real nature of its flames? I can see him sit there and smile, urging me to jump. I can see the lust and greed in the eyes of the people who willingly fall in, something is so not right in this fire and yet, in my world, that is all I see ... the fire and its tempting arms of a beautiful illusion of finding my Shiva there. 

And I jumped into its flames.

I can hear the screams of agony, I can hear the wailing of sorrow, its a terrible world in there as I start to burn. Its deep, it sucks me in and am trying desperately hard to find my way out, Ma Tara, help me... help me. Help me out of here. The fires are consuming my heart, its sinking deep into the black abyss of human plague. Its burning away the beauty of my soul, its burning away the purity of my being... its burning me to ashes, destroying the real me, the core that I need my great Lord Shiva to protect. And I collapse in exhaustion. Am losing the Shakthi within me, slowly but surely. 

The pain is deep, the hurt is immense and am waiting for him to lift me out of these raging flames to take me away. He will come with his army to lift me out of this burning ground of emotions. I am waiting ... as I burn in this pyre of life. 

Oh my Shiva, my calm Shiva, the fearless one, the strong one... where are you? Won't you listen to my cries.

Om

Na Ma Shi Va Ya... 

Na Ma Shi Va Ya...

Na Ma Shi Va Ya...

Ommm...

Shii Vaaa Yaaa... 

Adventures of a Spiritual Vagabond

It was a regular day, seated at my seat with my wavering mind trying hard to come back to ground zero where my great Guru smiled through the walls of His photograph. Fate had not been to kind and my jumping mind needed some really serious answers to solve its problems and it was not going to rest till the solution percolated through the pores of my thoughts. It had been quite a few sessions of aggressive worship yielding no tangible results. 

"Go to Tarapith"

The thought struck me like a bolt from heaven. It was strong enough to vanquish all the other thoughts that played havoc within my poor mind. "Really?" I thought, "Now that’s a good idea but will it work?" My mind raged on as the worship for the day came to a close. Would it ever be possible? It wasn’t too long that I realized fate aligning with the divine words and I found myself heading down the highway to the small town of Tarapith, a week later against all odds. It was just unbelievable, this was for Real and something was bound to happen. But what... let’s keep an open mind. Anything can happen, and I have been instructed to go so nothing negative can really happen. With deep excitement and a tinge of doubt, the events unfolded almost orchestrated by the Lord Himself. 

"Come to me, Bathe Me"

I found myself within the sacred chamber early in the morning staring straight at the inner shrine. We took our places in front of the Goddess and looked at the priest waiting for him to perform his part. But little did I know that there was a change of plan. The priest ushered me closer to the Goddess and handed over the oils and rose water to me beckoning me to go ahead and perform the sacred rite of bathing her. I took to it like a fish to water, feeling the moment of being the temple priest [a job I would have loved to have], as I caringly washed her and anointed her. I almost heard Her call out telling me to bathe Her earthly form. What a divine role that was and how I completely enjoyed being the priest for those few minutes. My hands trembled as I touched Her form, my mind went blank and my words failed as I stammered through my sacred verses. He gave me all the time I wanted, as I gently wiped her clean and covered Her in a saree we had brought for Her and stared Her straight in the eye, thanking Her for this phenomenal experience. 

"Come to me, hug me"

The priests soon took over and continued the rituals while the crowd look on occasionally shouting her name "Joy Tara Ma" and I joined them with enthusiasm proclaiming her glories to the world. I was overwhelmed and I shook just staring at her form. After the rituals were through, the priests ushered out everybody from the tiny garbha griha within which she rested. We were told to stay back and when the crowd was cleared he told me to get closer to her again. This time I was not clear on what was coming next. He emptied a box of sindhur into my bright red hands and directed me to smear it over her third eye. It was the culmination of a divine experience as I placed my humble palm over her divine forehead and touched it. I shook in my knees as he pushed me to her, telling me to hug her tight. And what a lovely hug that was as I held her close to me with the only sound that came out of my mouth "Tara Ma" as I sank myself into her lap. 

"Visit my son in the cremation ground"

I walked out of the temple with my family, reeling out of the experience. Something had happened in there, something for real and something for good. I had transformed and Ma Tara had called me over to bless me and hug me tight to reassure me that all was really well. My mind was amazingly silent, no thought dared to even make its presence felt. I blankly asked my folks if they would like to come along to the cremation ground and I met very reluctant faces. It didn’t matter, I walked back alone to the temple and down to the cremation ground as I asked for directions. Bare feet over dusty earth, I probably was walking over some poor soul's bones that lay buried in the earth of the shamshan. The fresh air of the morning made it look green while the sacred pyres lay silent. 

"Am in your heart, always"

Bama Khepa rested in his Samadhi, and I walked up close to it. A couple of people charged at me asking for dakshina, but went silent in just as much as the same speed. I sat with him for a good while, reciting the sacred Mrityunjaya and then I circumambulated his shrine, bowing at all the four directions before I came to stand in front of him. Tears rolled down my eyes and I thanked him and the divine Mother for granting me this opportunity. Tara Ma had taken her seat in my heart, and it felt warm in there. My earthy problems looked small, like stray thoughts in the mind, like unwanted noise and it was so easy to throw them away. I was home, and my mother hugged me close. I had nothing else to fear. I looked at the cremation ground and it felt as much at home as any place else. I loved it there and I felt at peace. Ma Tara was with me and her warmth continues to keep the flame in my heart burning. 

I came back home, to the south of India, calm, complete, quiet. What an adventure that was! 

Tara Ma, Her beauty - unbeatable, Her grace - unmissable, Her presence - rejuvenating, Her brilliance - all embracing, Her home - Tarapith

Joy Ma Tara!!

Sacred Residence of Ma Kali

Disclaimer: You may not stomach a few facts in this article...

Who is this unique warrior woman?

Her terrifying war cry pervades the universal battleground.

Who is this incomparable feminine principle?

Contemplating her limitless nature,

The passion to possess and be gratified dissolves.

Who is this elusive wisdom woman?

Her smooth and fragrant body of intense awareness

is like the petal of a dark blue lotus.

A single eye of knowledge

Shines from her noble forehead

Like a moon so full its light engulfs the sun.

This mysterious Goddess, eternally sixteen,

Is naked brilliance, transparent in sight

Cascades of black hair stream down her back

To touch her dancing feet.

Perfect in the art of wisdom warfare

She is the treasury of every excellence,

The reservoir of all that is good.

Her poet sings with unshakable assurance:

"Anyone who lives consciously in the presence

of this resplendent savioress

can conquer Death with the drumbeat

Ma! Ma! Ma!"

Original Poetry: Ramprasad Sen

Translated by: Lex Hixon

The hunt for the sacred residence of the Goddess Kali has been on for a while now from reading about the mother who roams the Shamshan by night to her temples that dot the countryside mostly occupied by Saktha worshipers. It took me to the ancient city of Kolkata, Tarapith and Nalahati known primarily for their Shakti Peethas. This journey was not just about visiting these temples and having a darshan of the Mother, it turned out to be much more than that.

For the average passerby the darshan at the main Shakti Peetha seems to be the achievement, but when I came back home to study more on the Mother, the revelation was far more intense. Kali has made an appearance in my mind many times, not letting me sit relaxed with contentment that I have figured her out. My journey to discover her has just started. It has led me to set sail from the shores of standard Tantrik sadhana to the ocean of literature of great Tantrik Bengali Poets like Premik, Ramprasad Sen and Kamalkanta who have sung songs in her name. Kali Ma has turned mysterious with every new discovery I made dwelling deeper into the lives of her Sadhaks.

The first striking quest of the Mother is her association with Sati. Kali Ma is what appeared and destroyed Daksha when Sati rubbed her nose in anger over the disgrace of her husband. This is one reference from mythology, but the greater symbolism is the association of Sati with her death. Sati's corpse hung of Lord Shiva's shoulders as he roamed the worlds in sorrow and madness carrying her dead being with him. Sati's corpse is what falls on this blessed earth when Vishnu destroyed her. What echoes in this mythology is the anger of Sati in the form of Kali, and her corpse that adorns this earth at various places bring home the idea of death being closely association with the worship of the Mother.

Kali Ma is associated with all those who dwell around the shamshan; men in this world who take to worshiping her and beings from the other worlds who make similar contact. The inhabitants of these worlds are rakshasas, asuras, vetalas, yoginis, dakinis, gandharvas, kinnaras, siddhas, bhutas, pretas, pisachas and nagas apart from regular people who live in this world. There are good beings and weird beings - good defined by those who have a "soumya" disposition as compare to those who display "ghora" disposition. Interestingly the flavor of regular people is what catches our attention.

We would normally associate Tantriks, Aghoris and Kapalikas with the worship of the Mother and therefore conclude that Kali worship is not meant for the Grihasta. Strangely enough, even the grihastas have a strong inkling towards the mother. Ramakrishna, Ramprasad and Premik are great examples of Kali worshipers who transcended the grihasta role and took to serious Tantrik sadhana. And all of them had a few things in common.

The common aspects in their lives are that they were great Ma Kali bhaktas. They all married and couple of them even had offspring. They lived in the middle of society, a society that accepted the worship of Tantrik Sadhana in the cremation ground as part of regular life with no aversion or bias towards it... even today. Given this environment and the acceptance of sadhana in the middle of the night, all great Tantrik practitioners have made the shamshan ghat a part of their lives. Strange Tantrik rituals have been a part of their sadhana, and these include rituals that are very hard to stomach. While they have been admired for their bhakti and their literary prowess, I wonder how many have accepted them for their way of life.

The sacred residence of the Mother can be unearthed in the sadhana of the bhakta. Few common aspects of their sadhan include the worship of the mother in the darkness of the night, in a secluded place preferably the cremation ground. They have gone through the rituals of accepting the impure and pure as part of their life and have transcended all bias towards aversion. They have been associated with human corpses which not only echoed the symbolism of Sati's mutilated body but also dared them to give up their social inhibitions. They have spent a lot of time meditating seated under a tree on what is called the panchamundi asana. They have worshiped, offered food and prayer and eaten out of human skulls taken and cleaned from the shamshan ghat. They have finally won the Goddess's favor and blessing and entered samadhi with her.

The air in Bengal is thick with energy, the average man on the road accepts this way of life. Ma Kali resides here in this earth. Various accounts of great Tantrik and aghor babas, of great Bengali poets and most of all the great love of Ramakrishna reveals the mother inhabits this earth, she is rooted to the soil where her corpse fell. She roams the night with her army of spirits. She lives in the skulls that dot the cremation ground. The 5 impure skulls are her home and she grants any wish to those who meditate on the sacred ground that covers them. She finally resides in the heart, in the hrudaya kamal that is buried deep within us. Ramakrishna and Kalidasa outshine everyone and are the greatest bhaktas in whose heart Ma Kali resides.

She is the wild Goddess, the one who walks the night and awakens it with her presence. She is the blue hued lotus that blooms by night. She is the wrathful one who kills all evil, she is the terrific one who dances in my heart.

References:

Sacred spaces in the temples of West Bengal [June McDaniel, College of Charleston]

Prabuddha Bharata, a monthly journal of the Ramakrishna Order started by Swami Vivekananda in 1896

Tantric Vision of the Divine Feminine: The Ten Mahavidyas [David R. Kinsley]

Poetry of Ramprasad Sen 1718 - 1775

Tantra in Practice [David gordon White]

Jyotir Linga Vaidyanath at Deogarh, Bihar

Click on the photo to enlarge it.

Trithalam trigunadhaaram trinetram chatriyayudham |
Trijanma-papasamharam Yega-vilvam Sivarpanam ||

Though this is a write up on Deogarh Vaidyanath temple, there is a strong possibility the original Jyotir Linga is at Parali, Andhra Pradesh... Quoting the stotram - Paralyam Vaidyanatham

It’s a peaceful evening, as one walks around this quaint temple complex. This complex originally had 12 but now there are 22 temples in all that are dedicated to various Gods, the primary deity being Lord Shiva. Temple bells ring as devotees intimate the Lord that they have come to visit him. A bath in the nearby Shivaganga Lake purifies them before they make their way towards the main sanctum.

This temple complex is simple, with small shrines scattered around within its walls. The interesting aspect about this temple is that even today modern scientists have not been able to open a ventilated door; hence the popular belief of the common folk is that this temple has originally been built by Lord Viswakarma. This temple complex is also famous for being one of the 52 Shakti peethas of Sati. It is believed that when Vishnu used his Sudarshan chakra to destroy her half burnt body as Lord Shiva carried it; her heart fell here at Deogarh.

This temple complex lies on the undulating land of the plateau landscape among small hills, near the Shivaganga. The well-lit courtyard of this complex in ancient days would have had fire torches lighting up the various passages around the temples with oil lamps within shrine chambers, bringing the presence of the luminous Jyotir Linga out for any ardent aspirant to witness.

Talking about devotees, there were none as great as Ravana himself, who is known to be one of the greatest bhaktas of Lord Shiva. It is believed that it was his wish to bring the Jyotir Linga back with him to Sri Lanka. He is known to have attempted to raise the very peak of Mount Kailasa, which has been so beautifully depicted in the Ravana Anugrahamurti. Lord Shiva, pressed him down with his toe and promised to give Ravana a Jyotir Linga to take back home, with a condition that should he ever keep the Linga on the ground, it would take root again.

Having accepted the condition, Ravana started his long trek back to Lanka. On his way back to Lanka, Varuna the Lord of water created a disturbance in his stomach, and Ravana felt the need to relieve himself. Vishnu disguised as a lad offered to hold the Linga, but soon got tired and laid the Linga on the ground. With this the Linga was finally rooted to the ground here at Deogarh. Ravana tried very hard to uproot it, damaging it a little in the process. The Linga still carries the chip. Ravana, disappointed with the event, decided to worship Lord Shiva, and came to cutting off 9 of his heads. It was then that Shiva descended in the disguise of a Vaidhya and joined the various heads of Ravana, back on him. Shiva is therefore known as Shiva Vaidyanatha at Baidhyanath Dham.

At the entrance of this temple is a well called the Chandrakoopa well, the waters of which are considered very holy since the well has been built and consecrated with water from several theerthas by Ravana himself. It is believed that all physical ailments get cured when one visits this temple.

They say that this temple went into ruins and was later discovered by a young man called Baiju. According to folklore he used to religiously worship the Linga and hence this jyotir linga came to be known as Baidhanath.

Photo courtesy: © Kundan Amitabh, Angika.com 2004