When The Divine Guru Guides Us

Srinivasan looked around the room; the odor of sandal wood and incense was strong and a little lamp stood by the pictures of many Gods who smiled down at him. He sat back at the astrologer's office, observing a small room that had many mysteries enveloped in the stacks of papers and books that lay there gathering dust. It felt like he was at the office of Chitragupta, waiting to know his intermediate fate... in bits to make any amends before the final call. 

In front of him sat the astrologer, rolling his fingers over his horoscope, looking up books and adjusting his spectacles. Srinivasan wondered about this mysterious diagram that the astrologer looked through, these magic squares that could transform his life for good or for bad. 

He reflected on his life this far, on the various situations and circumstances that it was built up of, about the kinds of people who were part of it and had an impact on him to be the way he had turned out today. Were they all incidental or were they all part of a larger phenomenon... a science whose interpretation was currently being done by a man who he didn’t know but for some reason trusted that he would get his math right. 

The man looked up, through his glasses and uttered a few words. His answers were short and his predictions clear. 

"This year is not good for you, there will be trouble, in fact it has already started and it will get over next year about the same time..."

Srinivasan's heart sank again, on one side were his emotions asking all the Gods present in the room on what wrong he had done. And then his mind took over, it must have been something really nasty he had done in his previous birth, maybe that is why they say "Be good, if you can’t do better than that". Yet, he had to prepare himself for all the eventualities that would hit him in the days to come whether he was responsible for them or not. 

Srinivas felt pain in his heart, to think that he would have to put up with any calamities that he would face given that plenty of such events had already passed by in his life and he had not felt very good about them. Yet he knew that cursing the Gods or the lesser stars or his fate was not the method to tide over these difficult times. He had to find himself a better solution. Fate always had its way, and the planets always seemed to have theirs, and people will be people... In fact he often laughed at how the events unfolded as they set him up for a human trial, how totally strange and yet logical were these twists and turns that he had by now begun to understand not just how the world around him works, but how the superior world of greater beings make use of the world around him and forces a different perception. How weirdly strange and yet so creative were the events that had made an impact on him to change himself just a bit into being either someone else or just made him a lot more defensive. 

Srinivasan breathed hard and long, staring at the little paper that had a scribble of the squares of his horoscope that made up his universe. This little diagram was leading him up a dance, a difficult one where he soon realized that the people he interacted with were just a bunch of worthless pawns whose default temperaments were being made use of to create deeper, complex circumstances through which he had to wade... wisely... to save himself through lesser impact. 

The ancient rule of fate, is a far more serious affair back home in India, and much as he adapted to the changing world, somethings were too far deep to throw away. The only path left for him was to turn to his divine Guru to lead him through this jungle of messed up temperaments. 

-*-*-

It had been 8 months, things were not looking up for Srinivas and as he pushed back a few really deep pitfalls, he decided to still hold strong. He learned hard and well with time, there were two things he was going to do. 

One was never to curse the Gods or his Guru, instead he remembered that moment of deep anguish when he hid away from all humanity for half an hour and cried his heart out in pain as he waded through one gruesome event that hit his conscience real hard, a strong wakeup call on how men had fallen in conscience and how the world had so drastically changed around him, and yet he was strong in the head that he would not blame anyone for it. He cried out to Lord Shiva, to his Guru, to help him through this pain... he cried like a baby, waiting for his Supreme Lord to pick him up and help him walk again. 

The second thing he learned to do was be silent through the bad time. He waited in silence, not ruffling anyone's feathers, not opinionating, no showing his anger or frustration, not reacting to anything... and he felt it was half the battle won. But he also realized that it killed his confidence when he had to react to situation and he didn’t have the wisdom to detect how much and how far he could go without getting a hit in return. But yet, he chose the wisdom to keep silent and aloof from the world till these horrible times were gone. 

It was difficult because he decided he wouldn't be like them, he wouldn’t succumb. He would not be diplomatic to please the worthless, or lie or be political and try to please the world around him. This was him and he was not going to change that. He only sensed deep aversion towards the world of people outside... around him... 

It was mentally tiring, it sapped most of his energy, he almost began to look at everyone as a potential suspect who had come into his world to mess with him and upset his tranquility. He realized his worst fear, he now almost trusted no one, he stood so alone that anyone who came by, appeared more like a potential problem than a person he would love to be happy with. While he didn’t choose to please or upset any, he also realized a strong sense of being a complete misfit in the middle of these people, he almost felt they were a different species, built with a temperament totally different from his. He hastily retreated back into his safe haven, his land where only his Great Lord Shiva reigned, and his Guru showed him the path to the divine. 

Was this detachment he wondered, when he was mentally forsaking the world outside and going inwards because he trusted no one else except these two superior beings, who were now not just his Teacher, they were his everything... every role applied on this... parent, friend... everything. 

-*-*-

Srinivas realized that being himself was not helping him too much at this time, being someone else was not something he could pull off with ease and he detested the very idea. But he felt safe, when he looked at the larger picture, with love, patience, and most of all Bhakti and undivided, complete surrender to the Lord and his Master, to deliver him from this mesh of illusions and perceptions within which he was locked - this samsara. He wanted the ultimate freedom, he was ready for the ultimate surrender and these troubled times were a journey for him to learn the art of spiritual progress. 

He reflected on the line, "Forgive them Lord, for they don’t know what they are doing". It just made so much sense. He learned the art of compassion, of forgiveness. He learned to let go.  

Bhava, an emotional language of divine Love

Along the stone walls Srinivasan walked, trying to listen to the sound reverberating within them. People busily rushed ahead of him, pushing him aside trying to catch that quick glimpse of the Lord. They walk out just as fast as they stepped in and he wondered whether they ever even cast an eye with reverence on this beautiful form of the Lord, for if they did that, they wouldnt even want to come out of this sacred earthly home.

Srinivasan now made his way towards Lord Shiva's shrine. The place, a mundane temple with a mundane idol with mundane people on a mundane day, there was nothing special about it and yet he felt something different. He had been here before, he knew every form of every God in here and yet the ambience within seemed to welcome him, a little different and yet special welcome that he seemed to have longed for.

He stepped in, catching the first glimpse of the Lord seated on his throne, his earthly peetha within the sanctum. His heart melted, and his eyes welled up with tears though he couldn't understand why he felt such emotion. The fire within the sanctum looked pure, the Lord looked simple yet divine in his attire and the air inside felt still.

He stared at the lamp lights dance graciously around the Lord, he thought hard looking at the fire...

The fire burns gentle as a lamp light for the Lord
The fire burns hard as it eats into flesh turning it to ash

The water, pure and crystal clear bathes the Lord
This same water consumes the ashes of man to deliver him to heaven

The air is here still and fragrant with floral offerings and incense
The same air is a grim reminder of death as the pyre burns

The earth holds the shakti of these earthly shrines
The same earth gives a bed for the burning departed soul

The ethereal presence of the Lord in his home here is felt so strong
The same ethereal state is so hard to achieve.

Srinivasan looked up as the priest held up the arti within. The flames lit up the glowing face of the Lord, among the flowers and vilva that decked his form. Srinivasan's heart was heavy with emotion, for he didnt know how to perceive the Lord anymore. This was strange love, love that made him suffer, love that made him ache to leave his earthly self and want to be ever present at the Lord's feet.

Srinivasan had had mixed emotions towards the Lord, he harboured various feelings towards the Lord and each expression of love made the Lord play various roles deep within his emotions. He felt Santa Bhava, where he was the eternal child, in the lap of the Lord who loved him and protected him as his very own. He felt he had been cursed to now live with this limited consciousness so far away from his divine father.

Srinivasan felt like a willing slave, the eternal servant who wished he could bathe and decorate all those present within the sanctum of the Lord. He wished he could live within, in the temple lighting the lamps, singing hymns to the Lord, bathing his various forms, the Trimurti, Kala Bhairava, Devi, Lingodhbhava, the 63 Nayanars, Ganesha, and the numerous Shiva Lingas that dotted the heavenly precinct. He craved to perform alankara, to drape the Lord in silks and flowers and sing to him in devotion as he decorated him. What enormous pleasure he would get to just clothe the Lord in his sacred garments and be his faithful servant. He felt a deep sense of Dasya Bhava as he humbly folded his hands in front of the Lord.

Srinivasan had felt Sakhya bhava, at rare moments when he had mentally demanded the Lord's attention as his closest friend whose help he needed. He had called His name to help him in his moments of distress. He called to the Lord, looking for him in desperation as he helplessly faced his circumstances. His heart was overwhelmed with the experience he had felt when the Lord listened and gave him the solution in the most unusual way possible. He whispered in his thoughts leaving Srinivasan awestruck that such experiences are even possible.

But most of all he felt love, pure love. The type of love that made him want to live every day with enthusiasm because he felt that Lord Shiva was always with him. He felt it in the events that unfolded in the day, he felt it in the way people reacted towards him, he felt it in the air that surrounded him, Lord Shiva was always there. His faith towards Lord Shiva was unshakable, his love for the lord was undying and his attitude towards the lord was one of protection and loving care. He felt the sweetness in the experience, he felt beauty in his presence and the thought of the Lord next to him made him divinely estatic. This was madhurya bhava. Eternal love, eternal bliss where the Lord occupied every thought in his mind.

Srinivasan walked around the shrine, circumambulating it and adouring every form of the Lord he crossed. He looked up with reverence and respect towards every saint present in there wondering whether he would ever reach that state.

He walked up to Nataraja, he had never seen someone so handsome, so charming, so graceful and yet so peaceful. His heart yarned for the Lord, Nataraja, Oh how he wished he could step onto that stage and dance with him, witness the grace of Ananda Tandava, be a part of the grand Shiva family that resides here within these walls.

Srinivasan's heart ached as he moved away from Nataraja, for he felt Nataraja looked straight at him, he felt the charm envelop him, he felt the presence awaken him like a dialog that seemed to rise within himself, between them as they stared at each other. He was numb with bliss, he was overwhelmed with love, he was sinking into a pool of ecstacy. Such love had never overpowered his emotions, such love had never made his feet weak, such love had never made him swoon so much. This was honey sweet, this was beyond words, this was paradise on earth, this was beyond the maya of mundane life... this was consciousness.

Photo courtesy:
Flickr Photo stream: shrirang k

The depth of Dakshinamurthy Shiva

Srinivasan breathed a heavy breath, he was exhausted and he wanted to just settle his mind on the form of Dakshinamurthy. Shiva, the intellectual, with his eyes closed in dhyana sits under the fig tree with the six great sages; the Sanakadimunivars listen in silence as the pearls of wisdom fall into existence. This is a form of Shiva who is composed of bliss, intelligence and existence, who controls the world of Maya at will, who has no beginning nor end and yet is formless himself.

There is eloquence in his being; there is purity in the air around him and the soft verses of praise rhythmically bathe the ambience for the seeker to listen.

Through the illusion of Atman, he who sees the universe exist within himself during his hours of sleep, like a city exists within a mirror, such that the universe looks like a manifestation of its own, he who beholds himself when awake, his own, the incarnate of the teacher, to him, the teacher who faces south, to him I bow.

He manifests himself in the bodies of all, of Brahma, of the devas, of Purusha (man) and of pashu(lesser animals). He is within those that are womb born, egg born, sweat born and earth born. When he is realized the world melts into him as if it were a blissful dream. And therefore I come into existence, I am life, I am consciousness, and I am pure.

Tat Tvam Asi

But I am a prisoner in this thick fog of Maya, my consciousness manifests itself as imagination, doubt, confusion, memory, determination, guess... Thus I adopt a school of thought, to understand and find, to realize myself. And thus I hold on to life, to meaning and to philosophy, to escape the clutches of this Maya that imprisons my mind. And so philosophy was born.

Charvaka: or Lokayatas hold that nothing is real except that which is revealed to the senses.

Kanada: founder of the Vaiseshika school of thought, believe that character and attributes are inherent in the atoms themselves and thus gives rise to objects of creation as well as their qualities.

Sugata: the popular Buddha believes Atman is not independent of the state of consciousness which is ever changing with every moment

Sankhyas: who follow the doctrines of Kapila and Patanjali, that the universe consists of two realities, Purusha(consciousness) and Prakriti(phenomenal realm of matter), the experience and the experienced, and where ultimate realization is achieved by following Ashtanga yoga.

Vedantins: who believe in the system of Sariraka-mimamsa, that explains the nature of Brahman

Pauranikas: who believe in the puranas that explain the creation of the universe and its beings and explain the histories and descriptions of various Gods and Goddesses.

Pratyakshas: who believe in sensuous perception, right knowledge obtained by sense organs coming in contact with external objects, like color is obtained through the eye.

Anumana: right knowledge obtained from the process of inference, that where there is smoke, there has to be fire. Hence the inference is fire as the presence of smoke reveals it.

Sabda: right knowledge obtained through verbal statement from a trust worthy source.

Upamana: right knowledge that is obtained from the process of comparison

Arthapatti: knowledge in the form of presumption, surmising a thing to account for something else that is known.

Abhava: immediate consciousness of the non existence of something by the non perception of it, therefore if it existed it should be perceived.

Sambhava: the right knowledge as to the existence of a part, when we know the whole of which it is a part also exists.

Aitihya: right knowledge obtained by centuries of tradition, transmitted generation to generation of which the source is unknown.

Srinivasan sighed, feeling the silence and bliss within him. Time doesn’t exist, its part of the very Maya we are engulfed with, Kala defines the change that is felt or perceived in that which is living, that which has prana, that which is Atman. Srinivasan stood bewildered with the thought of the great Lord of the South, who touches the consciousness, who governs the ever open mind into a state of everlasting bliss.

He had awoken to the truth of Dakshinamurthy and yet he could scarcely comprehend it. The truth echoed in his mind and yet the fog didn’t lift. The peace of equilibrium and high emotional bliss touched him and yet he felt it was momentary. The thought of coming back to this world brought his mind crashing into the depths of Maya we all know so well.

Srinivasan opened his eyes, Lord Dakshinamurthy continued to be in dhyana with his eyes closed. The apasmara purusha, the emblem of ignorance felt like that of Shrinivasan’s as he felt the warm force of divine Lord gently crush his “imagined” self. He was the seventh present, who tried hard to listen to the truth of the universe and yet those words felt like they fell on deaf ears.

Gurur Brahma Gurur Vishnu | Gurur Devo Mahesh Varaha||

Guru Shakshat Para Brahma|Tasmai Shri Guruve Namaha||
Guruve sarva lokaanaam Bhishaje bhava roginaam|
Nithyai sarvadhiyaanam Dakshinamurthaye namo namaha||

Related topics:
Shiva Dakshinamurthy, Vadapalani, Chennai
The realm of Shiva, the meaning of Atman

Content Courtesy:
Dakshinamurthy stotra of Sri Shankaracharya, text translated by Alladi Mahadeva Shastri

Prayashchita for life's miseries

I am not a killer, and yet I feel uncomfortable with myself. I have done no theft and yet I stand the biggest convict of my own principles, I have not broken law and yet my own laws to myself hold me responsible for imperfection. I stand guilty as my mind calls me a sinner, leaving me with regret and sorrow over my past deeds and life.

Being born human may not be as much a blessing as it appears to be a curse. Many mythologies indicate that divine beings, celestials and even super Gods have taken birth on earth to atone for their sins, having caused harm to others in heaven and other worlds.

Once born, one is faced with a life that doesn’t make much sense, doesn’t always deliver happiness, and leaves one confused over one's purpose of existence. The days of prayashchit are gone, the days of acute regret seem to be over and people are left with huge baggage of karma that follows them where ever they go. There are no answers because we don’t know what questions to ask, there is no peace because we do not know how to get rid of this baggage, there is no escape because these thoughts only come back to haunt us. There is only suffering because we know we are in the wrong and even if we are not, the lack of acceptance of reality doesn’t let us live in peace, and there is no escaping the mounting pressure the conscience puts on the self to clean itself out.

In a world where humans err, perform acts of sin unknowingly and try to cover up as much from the world of moral to save one's own self respect, there is only one thing that can bail the human mind out from the depths of misery.

Worship, sincere hardcore worship with bhakti, is the key to self resurrection. Like it or not, ritual helps because ritual is a methodology that purifies the soul, and nullifies the deeds that one performs knowingly or unknowingly. This is one of the root mechanisms of Hinduism, to be proven or believed is left to our ignorant judgment.

In a world where it may have become tough to trust anyone for the appropriate ritualistic bail out, where it becomes tough to even confess for prayashchit, the Lord leaves one door open to all those who want to clean themselves out. This cleaning is of the mind, which by now has become such a vast garbage yard and it has started to stink so much that it makes it difficult for anyone to survive with sanity, leave alone looking for happiness.

At this point, with deep humility the mind gives up. The ego surrenders, the heart break down and the mirror that once reflected the beauty of oneself cracks and falls to the ground. What stands naked, in misery is the inner core self, struck by the lightening of one’s own doing, faced with shame of one's own acts and tear loaded eyes that just have no vision left except that of acute disillusionment of one's own perfections.

That’s when the Lord takes over, as the Guru, as the maker, as the supreme form who divinely smiles down and blesses the convict giving them new life, and a method to be bailed out. That’s when Shiva Neelakantha drinks down all the poison of one's actions, Shiva Rudra burns down one's accumulated sins, Shiva Nataraja crushes one's own apasmara, Shiva Bhikshatana cleanses one of their vanity and reduces us to pure nakedness, Shiva Yogishwara presents the syllables of prayer that protects the soul.Shiva Vaitheshwara, the divine doctor rids us off our physical and mental ailments, Shiva Gangadhara purifies us with the holy waters of life, Shiva Mrityunjaya kills every fear known within our system, and Shiva Dakshinamurthy teaches us the way forward to a life of blissful worship.

As the Tripura Rahasya explains, the three cities of Anava Mala(egoism), Karma (bondage) and Maya(illusion) within one's human nature need to be destroyed. Destroying Anava Mala requires self surrender to Lord Shiva to acquire his grace in the form of Anugraha. Destruction of the second impurity karma is done through the consecration of one’s actions at the divine feet of the Lord, giving up the concept of “I am the doer” by developing the feeling of Nimita Bhava. Annihilation of the third impurity that is Maya happens through the deep contemplation and recitation of the Panchakshara, worship of the supreme Guru, hearing and the reflection of the attributes of Lord Shiva and his leelas. This awakens the presence of Lord Tripurantaka into one's consciousness.

At the end of every dark tunnel of karma, there is divine light of enlightenment that guides our souls to safety.

Shiva Dakshinamurthy, Vadapalani, Chennai

This is a way side small temple, with a shrine seeped in history, an ancient temple that still holds out against the invasion of modernity. This temple has a garbha griha that still stays lit up with oil lamps which illuminate the Linga within its interior decked in vilva leaves.

Lord Shiva, grants wishes and specially those that are made from the bottom of one’s heart. As we waited, sweating it out within the innermost prakara, the stillness in the air and the rising smoke create an unforgettable aura.

When the curtains are down, the devotees wait in chattering queues wanting to get a glimpse of the Lord while he still hides behind the curtain, as the priest performs alankaram. And once the curtains are pulled, there is stunned silence for the million lamps that light the inside, describe the beauty and energy of this shrine in a sacred glamour to be found nowhere else.

As one gasps again for breath, this beauty making every one forget their miseries is a moment no one can steal away from any bhakta, its precious, its profound and its sacred bringing such sense of peace that all the chattering is drowned into divine silence. The prayers roll on, and the arti lamps rise, one after the other as the lord is illumined with every lamp brought forward.

Divinity and sacred energy washes every devotee as they take a glimpse of the shrine of Lord Shiva within, and walk out only to turn back occasionally to catch a second glance as they proceed in silence to take their pradakshina. As one walks through the corridor, looking up at Nataraja as he dances within his chamber, his omnipresence envelopes the entire passage. The lights suddenly go out, and the passage is plunged into darkness.

It’s a darkness that transforms the temple back in to the past, to the medieval period, where only the divine lamps glow near the deities within the niches. It’s a different world, as one crosses Dakshinamurthy.

AUM yo brahmaaNaM vidadhaati puurvam.h

yo vai vedaa.nshcha prahiNoti tasmai |
taM ha devamaatmabuddhiprakaashaM
mumukshurvai sharaNamahaM prapadye ||

AUM shaa.ntiH shaa.ntiH shaa.ntiH||

I surrender to Him who projects Brahma at the beginning of all creation and reveals the sacred syllables of the Vedas. This inspiration turns my intellect and my thought towards Atman. May He bestow peace on us forever.

He sits there in silence, the Vedas flowing forth from him, a realm that comes alive, so true and so pure and so far away from the reality we know. Silence grips the air, with the shimmering light of the flickering lamps on his face, as he blesses in abhaya, seated with his divine feet on apasmara. One could stand there forever and wish for the lights never to come back. Walking around this passage, with each emblem of divinity glowing in lamp light brings such beauty to this interior; one begins to wonder, did we make a mistake by putting these electric lamps around here? As our minds seep into this reality, short lived yet worth every moment, one can see the divinity of Lord Dakshinamurthy come alive. In the still air the expression of wisdom and divine light glow on His face as he continues to teach in the subtle world:

naanaachchhidraghaTodarasthitahaadiipaprabhaabhaasvaraM
GYaanaM yasya tu chakshuraadikaraNadvaaraa bahiH spandate |
jaanaamiiti tameva bhaantamanubhaatyetatsamastaM jagat.
tasmai shriigurumuurtaye nama idaM shriidakshiNaamuurtaye ||

He whose light gleams through the senses like the light emanating from a pot with holes (in which a lamp is kept), He whose knowledge alone brings the state of knowing (I am That), He whose brightness makes everything shine - to that Dakshinamurti, who is embodied in the auspicious Guru, I offer my profound salutations.

In ancient India, fire has been considered supreme. Fire is the path of enlightenment, the path of worship and the path of light. Why then destroy this experience with electric lights that brighten up the interior so much, it kills the very beauty of the “garbha griha” and the path around. Darkness is what our lives are made of and enlightenment through fire is what brings us salvation. A small example of this profound experience was what these temples tried to bring to us and we simply destroyed it with stark electric lights that kill the very experience we long for when we come here.

Temple authorities need to bring back that ancient glory that ancient divinity prescribed in our Vedas, divine verses that prescribe that temples are meant for realization of this sacred truth… Why then is this desecration to a sacred shrine accepted as a part of life?

Why then are the priests who are the seekers of enlightenment, reducing themselves to mechanical worshippers? Why then are the priests who are learned and the keepers of our faith disrespecting the very value of our sacred texts? How then can we blame anyone else for the loss of knowledge of our own culture? Are they not solely to blame? Why don’t they realize that they owe us, the answers to these very very serious questions They owe us an answer as to why corruption and materialism has taken over their minds when this country boasts of its spiritualism. What really is left of it?

raahugrastadivaakarendusadR^isho maayaasamaachchhaadanaat
sanmaatraH karaNopasa.nharaNato yo.abhuutsushhuptaH pumaan|
praagasvaapsamiti prabodhasamaye yaH pratyabhiGYaayate
tasmai shriigurumuurtaye nama idaM shriidakshiNaamuurtaye ||

The brillance of sun exists even when intercepted by Rahu during eclipse. Similarly, the power of cognition only remains suspended during deep sleep. The Self exists as pure being even though unrecognized due to the veil of Maya. A person on awakening becomes aware that he was asleep earlier (and the dream was unreal). Similarly, a person who awakens to the consciousness of the Self recognizes his previous state of ignorance as unreal. He by whose grace alone does one awaken to the consciousness of the Self - to that Dakshinamurti, who is embodied in the auspicious Guru, I offer my profound salutations.

Divine light and divine experience need to be experienced, and the ambience of these ancient temples were designed to facilitate this. In these times where spiritualism barely has any presence left, its left to one's own desire to want to discover Lord Dakshinamurthy.