Who am I?

A child I was, sitting alone
"Who am I", did I ask
A little girl so young so true
I am my parent's child

A girl I was, walking around
Experiments with life
"Who am I", did i ask
A blank look, silence passed me by

A lady soon, married and well
"Who am I" did I ask
His wife I am, his family mine
A future new and vibrant

A family now, two children grown
"Who am I" did I ask
A mother of two, a parent now
The future in my hands I hold

A career so great, money flows
"Who am I" did I ask
A lady strong, ambitious for sure
A career woman unfolds

The world claps, applause in my ears
"Who am I" did I ask
The greatest for now, a celebrity
The world praises my achievements.

The bones ache, life passes me by
"Who am I" did I ask
My daughter's success, a proud parent she made
My children's mother am I

Lying on my bed, the last breaths of life
"Who am I" do I ask
Oh lord, a blind woman was I
Now with a wasted life.

P.S. Inspired by a question we all ask when young but fail to answer with every passing moment of life.

Shivaratri - A night to remember

The dust had finally settled and all turmoil in the mind seemed to subside. Srinivasan, raced back from work to get to the showroom. Srinivasan felt strange about himself. His folks were not around for his people had gone back. There was really no one left to show his new car to.

Yet it didn’t bother him, Srinivasan loved automobiles and felt it was money well spent if he purchased a car he would want to drive. Srinivasan didn't have too much time. It was closing in on sunset and he had yet to start his worship.

At the showroom, the car was brought forward, and all papers were handed over. Srinivasan looked up to the sky and then to the sales man who was performing the final puja before this gorgeous automobile hit the road. He took off his slippers and watched the flames catch on the camphor. He watched the fire (arti) go up circling the car warding off all evil. The kumkum was smeared over his head and at various points of the car, the bonnet with the logo and the driver’s steering wheel. He smiled to himself thinking…Strange, that even a very modern mind was all to happy to have the traditional fire of enlightenment bless and protect his car, a gift of his well earned money on the road now.

With four lemons squashed under each car wheel, the automobile was now blessed for a new journey on the road – new safe journey on the road.

With the car now, feeling this luxury on the road, Srinivasan headed home trying to catch up with lost time. His worship started in the next hour after all his preparation. The house went into darkness, and the lamplights made beautiful patterns on his polished marble floor. He began his recitation, his mind concentrating and his heart overwhelmed and heavy. He had wanted a good day to bring his car home and he didn’t manage to find any from the panchangam his grandmother had looked up. The Lord had decided the day. It couldn't get better. Srinivasan smiled, the car was finally home, on the night of Shivaratri, a gift for himself, a gift from the Lord.

The prayers rolled on, in rhythmic beat with the lamps burning even brighter now glowing in his heart. Each verse fell out in amazing clarity, the voice grew stronger and the sound echoed through the house. The mind was at rest, the peace enveloping and the world was now plunged into silence. Srinivasan opened his eyes and stared at the Divine icon, the Linga, and then at the Trishul in the light of the oil lamps. This Shivaratri meant a lot more to him.

Srinivasan felt no pride, no sense of achievement; no feeling that he had made another mark in his life, or crossed another milestone. He felt free, free in the mind, free in the heart, free from all human bondage, free from appreciation, free from ego massage, free from any kind of human approval. The car was his love for driving, the car was his love for automobiles, the car was his symbol of freedom, the car was his small luxury and he was happy to have it. Nobody else mattered, nothing else mattered. The night of Shivaratri left him sleepless, thinking about life and the Lord's strange ways of telling him how valuable he was. A wish was fulfilled, a gift from heaven had come home this divine evening - unplanned.

Om Namah Shivaya

Jogeshwar temple

(Click picture to enlarge)

The drum is the soul
that wakes the rhythm in the mind
the sound hits my senses
and calls for the dance
the essence hits the walls
and bounces back around
a tremor felt
to shake up the heart

The stones respond
the essence touched
the echo around
this stony corridor
the foot forward
an arched back holds
the flowering fingers
for the lord to behold

Love in my eyes
a sweeping sound
a rhythm calm but enveloping
as all winds stop
a performance unknown
a stretch of the self
to reveal through the body
grace unfelt

These stony walls
so close together
hidden presence
within the air
the reverberating sound
the multiple reflect
emotions so powerful
deep within the self

Music reveals for all to feel
a world beyond
a world unseen
sound the only way
to gather the truth
that cannot be understood
but needs to be felt

An arrangement in stone
so neat so precise
to make the rhythm elevate itself
to resound around
these vast walls of life
and bring out the aesthetics
of the hidden self

The heartaches again
the mind yarns
helplessly locked
within the cage
the mind so strong
Oh help me god
to get out of this body
my prison today.

Photo courtesy: Joshi Uncle

Dude Cool Laloo

Chennai: Felicitation of Sri Satya Sai Baba.

It was during the auspicious days when Sri Satya Sai Baba landed in Chennai for his felicitation on the event of bringing waters to Chennai – the completion of the Telugu Ganga Project. In the Chola period they would have built a temple town and called it Gangaikondacholapuram and given food to the poor, these days they give speeches and ask for more money and more water.

The esteemed podium was honored with the presence of the Chief Minister and his battalion of loyalists each giving speeches honoring the Great Man and hoping he would do more for society or give them his money so that they can try and do it with least effect!

This was a shower of speeches rather tongue in cheek making the audience smile on and off over each ones witty statements on how today's government is run. In the middle of all this sat one man, a milkman from the north who had done very well for himself I should say.

This man, originally a possible milkman, subsequently chief minister of one of the most ancient rich lands of the sub continent and now Railway Minister has done more than his fair share to puzzle the world. Speaking in broken English and even more polished Bhojpuri, he is probably the only not so well educated man who stormed into an audience of IIM graduates (paradise mind you) to give a discourse on his success story, leaving a world of superior intellects speechless.

The same man walks up the dias, shared equally by Tamil intellects to give his speech on Sri Satya Sai Baba...

Starting his speech in broken English and subsequently rolling off in Bhojpuri to a Tamilian audience (he couldn't care less) he claimed to have been an atheist all his life. But something has moved him about this Great Man and today he feels deep in his heart that there is a supreme being somewhere and Baba seems to have shown him the way. Today he believes in him strongly and has been moved by this Great Man's presence in his life. Having said all this in a very elaborate animated way, Laloo walks up to the Great Man and touches his feet with reverence. The Tamil folk on the dias just look on...

Now for the other side of the story. They say this man was not invited (well he was not part of this project); he came because he wanted to meet the Great Man. He came like a common man, equally happy should the organizers have given him a seat with the common folk playing audience. He was invited to the dias since he held a high post in politics. He walked about the stage, pranced around like it was his living room not caring for the speeches reeling out in the background. He hit the restroom when he wished and walked around with an air of simplicity. His purpose was fulfilled. Having bundled his ego up for a short while, he came visiting Chennai because he wanted to meet Baba and not because he wanted to make his presence felt in Tamil Nadu politics.

I tell you, I like him, when I see him in new light this guy is simply cool.

Photo courtesy: The Hindu Online.

Mamallapuram: a world so new

Shore temple, Mahabalipuram:

It was another routine visit to Mahabalipuram, taking my NRI relatives to this very ancient site! As I reeled out the history, my mother continued to entertain the battalion of children we had brought along with us.

Sitting along the green grass carpet of a now well-maintained shore temple we watched all the others who had shown up to this temple on the fateful day before New Year. Shore temple looked even worse than Kumbh Mela, with all of India's population coming to visit these ancient beauties. And we had plenty of variety.

It was interesting to see the groups who came there. To start with we had a very lost-out Italian tourist group who were groping in the darkness of a vast history lying in front of them and trying hard to wade their way through the current Indian population.

In all the garbled language that fell out I heard "Andare turistico per favore".

We watched another group go by, rather uncouth, numbering fifteen guys of what I call - Local Tamil Romeos, who were definitely not there to understand Indian history...they were there to have fun and completely misplaced in this audience.
Hooting around, spilling all the Tamil slang one could hear of in a single day, this group marched on carelessly.

Soon we had another family coming by and sitting next to us. This was a Punjabi family, with a sardarji boy holding a recently bought shankh (conch shell) in his hand and attempting very hard to blow it. What rolled out was a troubled grunt, warning the young sardarji boy and everyone around him that he was not doing something quite right. Instantly his father took the Shank and blew hard, giving the most perfect sound that resonated through the air! My excited mother jumped up and said "yes! That’s the way, you got it", leaving the elderly sardarji completely excited about his accomplishment. What resulted was a series of enthusiastic sounds, now having no reason to stop, leaving my mother wondering why she even went saying "Encore".

Following suit on the green grass was a Kannadiga family who sat down right next door, watching the temple, turned away saying:

"Idu yedu chennagilla. Thumba 'simple' ayiththu. Hampi Vijayanagara thumba chennagiththe".

Ma was not too happy with the comment, for she had the instinctive urge to tell them that for the period this temple was built it was a fantastic accomplishment. She wished she could educate them that what they have back there at Hampi is a mature version, the prototype of which stands right here. She wished they could appreciate everything instead of bringing in regional comparison.

Back at the temple, my cousin and I happened to see a very spiritual group descending from Meghalaya/ Manipur with exceptional devotion. They removed their slippers and threw coins into the Linga Pitha of a now dead temple, where even the Shiva linga was missing in the smaller shrine.

While my cousin tried to wade his way through, we noticed another family from the north, maybe UP, well dressed and decent walking out of the temple, saying:

"Murti pata nahi hai, magar mandir achcha hai"

Another group that showed up was Red clad from Melmaruvattur. These were a group of 20 women, all dressed in red and going about a Shiva pilgrimage, worshipping the Lord in every form possible. Well "the women in red" pranced around in a hurry, speaking garbled Tamil into the air, rushing up to the temple to take a glimpse of the Lord long gone.

I sat back reflecting on this country and its people, who display their faith in more ways than one, so different from each other and yet so united towards a single deity.

Om Namah Shivaya.

Shiva temple, Villianur

(Click the image to enlarge)

This is a small quaint temple, near Pondichery hosting a unique Shiva linga. The Linga being made of mud does not endure a direct abhishekam hence the Linga is always covered in the brass vessel before the water is poured. It’s a small temple that speaks volumes on devotion.

I walked around, savoring every minute of this temple. As we did the pradakshanam and walked behind the main sanctum, 63 Nayanars caught my attention. A quick photo and it was a snap to keep.

A collapsible gate separated them from me. 63 Nayanars with hands folded stared out at me. They looked imprisoned to say the least. I looked free, or was it the other way around? It seemed like a one to one with them. We stared at each other for a while.

63 enlightened souls appeared to have been barred from walking out and breathing the fresh air, or was it me taking in the foul realities of life.

63 enlightened souls glistened in the darkness while I paled out in the bright sunlight

63 nayanars silently worshipped the Lord in His heavenly abode while I thought I was freely walking the earth.

63 nayanars found a place next to the Lord while I still hunt for my identity.

63 nayanars didn’t care for freedom while my soul breaks every rule in the way

63 nayanars display humility with folded hands while I carry a heavy ego through my living days

63 nayanars silently speak faith while I voice mine like I know it all

63 nayanars have given up their souls for peace while I still hold on to mine, fearing to let go.

63 nayanars taught devotion to the world while I drop ego into every word.

63 nayanars glow with enlightenment while I still look around in the dark.

63 nayanars forever worship the Lord while I drift away trying to control my mind.

63 nayanars teach the meaning of freedom while I try to understand mine

63 nayanars appear to be imprisoned while I still try to break mine.

The Lord works in strange ways towards those willing to learn, it’s a test of endurance for us to see ourselves through. Spiritualism is tough stuff, its something I still do not know how to define.

A call to the Lizard

Varadaraja Perumal temple, Kanchipuram:

Animals have played an integral role in Indian mythology, with snakes and eagles topping the list. In Indian mythology we have a special consideration for "vahanas" or vehicles of deities. Others come with signals when animals make a visit during a ceremony. For example, it is believed that when a temple is being consecrated and "prana prathista" is being done to both the idol within as well as the main gateway/ roof of the temple, the presence of three parrots fly by during the homam/havan. Subsequently it is considered a success in ritual when an eagle (garuda) flies above the main gateway when water is being poured over it and the flag is being hoisted.

Among the lesser known animals that are known to be great devotees of Lord Shiva, the spider and the elephant seem to top the list. In the south there are specific temples dedicated to them as worshippers of the Lord, namely Shiva temples at Kalahasti and Thiruvannaikavval.

One creature seems to have a lot of impact not just by being a devotional creature but also as a mechanism of communication between our world and God's kingdom - devaloka. They say that when you are completely devotional, the Lord Himself comes in some form and resides within the chamber where you worship Him. The lizard is considered to be a very important creature in such modes of communications. When a lizard steps into the puja room and stays there it's considered auspicious. They say that either your Guru or the Lord Himself rides on the lizard when they come "visiting". The nature of the lizard in such cases is quite different. They tend to be fearless, hang around the deep dark corners of the room and come closer to the devotee as and when they wish, sometimes it's too close for comfort. A family is considered blessed and the home is believed to have positive vibrations when lizards come to live within the walls of its puja room.

Lizards seem to have held a very strong place in function! Killing or harming lizards is considered one of the greatest "doshams"(negative effects) committed ever. Even more intriguing is the fear that is triggered with the accumulation of "doshams" when a lizard falls over a person. They say that if a lizard fell over our head, something very inauspicious is going to happen, like probable death in the family, while if it falls on the foot it means travel. It looks like our ancestors didn't take to traveling very well, not half has lightly as we take it today. There might have been dangers they would have to face in the journey so avoiding travel was probably recommended. In order to rid one off these negative effects our ancestors thought a lot for the masses.

Interestingly found only in the Varadaraja Perumal temple at Kanchipuram is the silver and gold lizards on the ceiling of a small chamber in this temple. With mystical diagrams of the sun and moon near it, this large lizard is supposed to wipe out all the accumulated "doshams" if we get to touch it. There is an endless list of "doshams" given in our panchangam. The sun, moon and the lizard (palli) are related to astrology and give remedies with relation to our horoscopes for a more peaceful living.

Touching these lizards on the ceiling nullifies the negative effects that we might have accumulated in the course of our living, knowingly or unknowingly. Maybe they are consecrated up there with mantra concentrate done ages ago when the temple was built, so that the oncoming generations would benefit from it with a simple touch.



All in all it has not just caught the strong belief of the ancients but also the caught the faith of million Indians today who flock there. Can we question the lizard? Maybe, but can we doubt Indian faith… no, it can only be admired!

UP, Vrindavan: Gopisvar Mahadev

Rasa lila is the aesthetics of love and beauty expressed in the song and dances of Radhe Krishna as much as it is in the dances of Shiva and Kali/Parvati. Rasa lila brings to the mind, the nectar of love, untouched and flowing in abundance that the heart and mind get locked in it forever. Rasa Lila is an exalted feeling within the self that exists and needs to be unraveled in devotion to the Supreme. Rasa lila brings with it fragrances of the blooming flowers that are otherwise left to the wild. Rasa lila intoxicates the mind making the beloved surround the self and appears just about everywhere.

Rasa lila is a feeling in the heart, an expression of emotion in sublime!

Krishna's Rasa lila in the gardens of Brindavan can only be imagined by mortals for even Lord Shiva needed to do penance to be an audience to this beauty. In the form of Mahadev Shankara Shiva descended from Mount Kailasa to have darshan of one of Krishna's Rasa lilas. As he approached the gates of Brindavan, a Gopi at the gate stopped Him, as no male except Sri Krishna could be a part of this Rasa Lila.

Mahadev Shankara did not give up very easily. As instructed by the gopis he began to worship Yogamaya Paurnamasi (Purnima) for assistance. Purnima knowing fully well about Mahadev Shankar wish, instructed Him to take a dip in the waters of the holy Brahma Kund. When He rose out of its waters he was transformed into a beautiful damsel, another gorgeous Gopi who found her place inside the Kunj of the Rasa sthala. Soon after the Rasa Lila began, sweet love notes swept the floor of the kunj covered with the fragrance of wild flowers. But this time it left the gopis strangely uncomfortable. They had understood there had been an intrusion and were now trying to find out who was the uninvited guest.


















(Click on image to get a larger view)

Having come upon this gopi, with no name and no village to name from where she came, the remaining gopis attacked her with a barrage of questions. "Where are you from? Who is your husband? Who is your father in law?" This left her in a pool of tears and speechless at the same time. Yogamaya Paurnamasi has not prepared her for this onslaught of questions, for neither was her birth arranged from the womb of a gopi nor was she given a name. Nor did she marry a gopa so she was left speechless in the middle of all the commotion.

Paurnamasi's heart melted seeing the plight of Mahadev Shankar, and appeared to release the gopi from the situation. She requested the Gopis and Sri Krishna to be merciful to the nameless gopi. Sri Krishna, having understood Paurnamasi's desire, gave Mahadev Shankar the name of Gopiswar and granted Him a boon that any sadhaka who came to Brindavan, would not be able to enter without the blessings of Shankar Mahadev.
























(Click on image to get a larger view)

Vajranabha the great grand son of Sri Krishna later installed a Shiva linga at this temple. They say that a big pepal tree here is the kalpa vriksha, which fulfills all desires.

"O Lord Mahadev, O Lord Gopiswar, O glorious one, salutations to you.
O Lord, one who carries the moon on his head
Worshipped by great sages Sanaka, Sanandana, Sanatana and Narada
O Lord Gopiswar Bless me with thy divine power
Bestow upon me the love to seek the feet of Sri Radha Madhava and experience the Rasa Lilas in Brij-dham
I offer you my prayers at your feet forever."

Sankalpa Kalpadruma, 103 by Visvanath-Cakravarti Thakur

Folklore: Radha kunda and Shyama kunda

(Click the image for a larger view)

Radha Kunda, Uttar Pradesh:
Walking down a street, and knowing nothing about the place brings with it a whole new experience of the unfamiliar. With the wind in the air and the warm sun shining down on a chilly morning searching for the story that rules the minds of a charming little town can quite be a task.

Armed with a book in hand that gives the basic directions, and then looking expectantly at all the local faces hoping to get more information, its a silent walk down an unknown alley.

This is a small town with no pollution in the air, clear breath warmed by the sun as I sip at a glass of local Chai looking around at people going about their business. Simple people, with lots of goodwill and warmth and no corruption that looks for my wallet, or so I hope!

It’s a quaint little town, completely charming, the old forgotten India that one would have loved to see. The town dotted with temples, with flags flying high still symbolizing victory against time through so many centuries, singing the praise of Radhe Shyam and slowly begins to unravel herself.

This is a land precious to Gaudiya Vaishnavas, hosting the great ponds of Radha Kunda and Shyama Kunda that sing the tales of Krishna killing the demon bull Aristhasura. On the pilgrimage tracks to Mount Govardhana, this town is not too far from Mathura. This little town hosts 5 dead trees that represent the Pandavas singing Bhajan. Folklore has it that Dharamaraja Yudhistira appeared in the dream of Raghunatha Dasa Goswami and directed him not to cut the trees on the banks of the Shyama kunda while he reconstructed the ponds. This is the land of Sri Chaitanya Mahaprabhu, that sings about the pleasure times of Radha and Shyam.

A small town that hosts the kunjas (garden groves) of the 8 main sakhis - Sri Lalita Sakhi (north), Sri Vishakha Devi (north east), Sri Chitra Devi (east, multi colored), Sri Indulekha Devi (south east, all white), Sri Champakalatha devi (south, gold), Sri Ranga Devi (South west, Shyama blue), Sri Tungavidya Devi (west, crimson), Sri Sudevi Devi (northwest, green) and their respective Sakhas Madhumangala (north), Ujjvala (north east), Arjuna (east), Gandharva (south east), Vidagdha (south), Kokeela (south west), Sanandananda (west), and Subala (north west).

Well I can almost here the jingle of anklets and the laughter of damsels and the happiness and joy of love once displayed among these blooming gardens into a world of colour and enjoyment. A little town so peaceful later ravaged by war and yet retaining it’s original splendor now singing folklore of Radhe Shyam.














(Click the image for a larger view)

And here too, Lord Shiva resides. A small white marble temple, attributed to Sri Kundeswar Mahadev on the roadside is not as small and insignificant as it would seem. There are four such temples, each in a cardinal direction protecting Radha Kunda from the uninitiated. No one gets to Radhakunda if Lord Shiva doesn't permit him or her to do so. Therefore it is tradition that one visits Sri Kundeswar Mahadev temple first before setting foot into this holy land of the Gaudiya Vaishnavas.

Jai Bholenath!


Photo courtesy: http://www.vaisnava.cz/ind_en.html
The Hare Krishna inspiration © 2001-2007

Visakha Hari - A concert, an enthralled audience

I heard praises
Praises of another being
A being I had wanted to be
A being I have not yet achieved

And yet it brought
Tears to my eyes
To know and to feel
Someone out there
Feels the same way as me

I know not who she is
But an audience she enthralled
Respect at her core
A world she showed
That which we all wanted to see

Tradition put forward
A simple path
Through endless seas of knowledge
A woman like me
Simpler, but much better

I heard praises
That sounded like worship
I heard praises
Like she was blessed
It left me speechless

I felt I had wavered
From my path
Something similar
Something potent
Some now pretty far

I feel incomplete
I feel inadequate
I bow to her
The same lady
Who has already walked my path.

Visakha Hari's remarkable eloquence is matched only by her delightful singing.
Photo Courtesy: The Hindu Online

Amarnath - A life to remember

Amarnath Shiva Linga. Om Namah Shivay

The last hope
The saving grace
The heart clings
With dear faith
To survive
Fears unknown

Faith, a simple word
A ton of emotion
A volume of thought
A world of energy
That controls the
Devil in the mind

Faith an inward journey
Faith a world unknown
Faith silently leads the heart
Faith a treasure to behold

When life poses
Question unanswerable
When life looks you
In the eye
To see your next action
Towards the divine
When trouble looms in the dark

The lord is everywhere
In and out
An essence captured
Within the self
Worship thee though the soul
Hoping to be heard someday

Faith is not understandable
Faith is not controlled
Faith is to be grown
At your own free will

Faith a bird that returns
Faith a thought that ever stays
Faith the only medicine to life
Faith the only road ahead

When things disappear
In this material world
When life appears tougher
For the strong built
It’s a test of endurance to see
The display of faith
From the mind's eye

Emotion there might be
Emotions there might not
What matters most
Is the self within
The beholder of energy
That drives the soul

Does God desert
To test the soul
Does God pose problems
For us to behold
Does God come forth
And hold my hand
And tell me
He loves me most

Faith my only mantra left
Faith that no man can snatch
Faith my only hope
Faith my ticket to truth

A silent life henceforth
A world departed
A lesson learnt
Trust the Lord for
He lives within
To guide the soul
Through hell.

The calling: Phone call or lizard?

It had been a while since Srinivasan had heard from his Guru. This left him feeling fairly uneasy over the unpredictability of his Guru's mind. Srinivasan had made enough calls by now to know that his Guru was just not giving him a listening. His growing dependency on his Guru left him with butterflies in his stomach wondering what had gone wrong.

Srinivasan had reached a stage in his worship. An advanced stage so to speak, where he was not entirely clear he understood what it was all about but he was definitely certain it had made differences to his life. Srini, sat back, thinking about all the miracles one after the other, that he knew he could never explain to the world but was certain he had not imagined them.

It played on his mind, each thought clear as ever giving him instructions on what to do to get his Guru's attention or at least make contact. Srinivasan lived in two worlds at the same time. One that we call the familiar and the other unknown even to him presenting him with events that left his jaws permanently dropped. He had been overdosed with the experiences, so much so that he could not think anymore. What was that life all about? With every ritual he performed he saw something new, something out of the ordinary. It was not a miracle in the real sense; it was pure events unfolding so rhythmically that he
wondered whether fate could be controlled in some form.

Simple thought crossed his mind, "What if I had not done this, would events have been different? What if I had done that, would anything have changed? Is this as bad as it gets when they warn me that I am not going to have a good day?"

Srinivasan sat back thinking hard. He saw the changes in his familiar world. He was overwhelmed; the benefits were great and they made him fly but the world of illusions was intoxicating too and he tried very hard not to get sucked into it. Srinivasan watched his mind. Thoughts flitting up and down, thoughts that stayed and thoughts that went, thoughts he entertained and thoughts he feared he even came across. Thoughts he identified with and thoughts he refused to acknowledge that they originated in his mind.

Srinivasan called again, the rings of the phone haunting his mind as he prayed for his Guru to lift the misery off his mind from the other end of the line. No answer, Srinivasan went queasy.

Finally he decided, if this method didn’t work then the ancient method would. Early next morning Srinivasan set the stage for another round of ritual. This was not as much a worship of Lord Shiva as it was a call hoping his Guru would know what he was up to.

The given chants rose into the air, slowly but strongly as he lit the lamps and sat down. The world in front of him shined and the copper turned a golden yellow in the lamp light, the mystical lines glowing with every dance of the flame. The copper bathed in water and milk and the flowers fell forth. Finally the lamp was lifted and in fiery circles the "Arti" was completed gracefully. A full circle, a signal sent, a hope that somehow someone would know that the puja had been performed.

Among the greenery that carpeted the hillside, worshipped as the Lord Himself lay a road dotted with small temples. The regular morning chants rose into the air in a soft hum that enveloped the green countryside. A man held up a flame to the Shiva linga before him and drummed away with Rudram. The fire of consciousness rising into the air lighting up the Linga decorated in all its finery within the Garbha Griha walls. Then all went silent... and he heard twelve calls. Twelve calls made by a lizard in the west within the chamber. The man looked back at the Lord and smiled. Applying a bit of Vibhuti on his forehead he walked out of the temple and smiled a satisfied smile, another puja complete by someone far away.

Six hours later Srinivasan heard his phone ring. The puja had been completed. It was a success. Srinivasan sat back, relieved. Life was good, normal as normal can be!

P.S. Based on the deeper secrets of Pakshi Shastra, an ancient science that "logically" connects animal sound and behavior to direction and maps them with life's various possible events.

Ekapada Shiva - The one legged Shiva

Ekapada Shiva, Someshwara temple Andhra Pradesh

Shiva, a common name around the house, yet an unknown icon when it comes to deep spiritualism. Considered to be the greatest in the Trinity, Shiva is still far from understood, leave alone being realized. Much as He is not half as well known as His counterpart Vishnu, His forms are equally obscure.

It would sound strange that Shiva came with more avataras than Vishnu, say 27 in all. It would be even stranger to say that He had "Lilamurthy" attributed to His name. Even more strange would be His close association with the Mother Goddess cult. This is a sea of knowledge itself and we have not even started talking about the essence of the Lingas that represent His aniconic Self.

What makes up Shiva, Who is He, and what is it that makes Him so remarkable that His presence in man's mind has lasted so many centuries through history. Is it all about faith? We definitely need a whole lot of faith to know Him, to understand Him, to experience Him but this enigmatic deity leaves a lot for us to figure out.

One of the few things which any art historian or archaeologist has still probably not been able to figure out is the rare iconographic representation of Shiva in the form of the Ekapadamurthy. Of course there seems to be an Ekapada Shiva or the one legged Shiva as well as an Ekapada Trimurthy, which makes it all too confusing.

Ekapada Shiva is a rarity in Indian Iconography, considered to be a Lilamurthy of Shiva and found in all of two places. One is found in Chaunsath Yogini temple is Orissa where he is more commonly known as Ajaikapada Bhairava and the other is found in Someshwara temple Andhra Pradesh. In both cases He is found in close association with the Mother Goddess cult, specially Chamunda. He seems to be very closely associated with the Tantrik cult, a probable influence of the Sakta cult originating in Bengal in close association with Tantrik practices.

The Tantrik cult had a very strong influence in Orissa and Andhra pradesh and a bit of it trickled into Tamil Nadu. There have been references to Ekapada Shiva found in Mahabalipuram but there is no visible proof to support that yet.

For now, this is what Ekapada shiva looks like:


















Ekapada Shiva, Someshwara temple, AP. Depicted here with Chamunda dancing in a niche above Him.






















Ekapada Shiva, Chaunsath Yogini temple. Also known as Ajaikapada Bhairava

Photo courtesy:
Original photos ©2002 Michael D. Gunther, Glossary of Indian art.
Original photos: http://ganapati.free.fr/ Mukhalingam.

Secrets beneath the Garbha Griha

Its might appear very strange and intriguing that Shiva Lingas get unearthed at construction sites or any place when people dig the earth up. There have been remarkable moments in Indian History where the Paramacharya Sri Chandrashekar Swamigal Himself has pointed to location where there were sure possibilities of an ancient Shiva Linga within the earth. To name a few would be the Shiva Linga unearthed at Madhya Kailash, Taramani Chennai and at the Shankara Matt at Thiruvanaikkaval Srirangam.

The Shiva Linga at Shankara Matt is particularly beautiful. Its claimed to be a Panchamukha Linga, though only four faces have been visibly sculpted into the shaft of the Linga. The fifth, typically on the top has not been carved in this case. The characterestic features of the faces takes us way back to the late Pallava, early Chola era. The pointed features and benign appearance of each face, remarkably similar such that they seem to belong to the same person rekindles the imagination With the world of the ancients.

The question now is, how did these Shiva Lingas get past the ravages of time with endurance?

Temples had a lot of thinking going into them before the very first stone was placed for its making, endless calculations not just based on how to build the temple, but to sustain it and keep it standing for the years to come. Decisions were taken to safe guard the main sanctum and more importantly the idol and its various elements from any danger of destruction.

The Garbhagriha is not constructed on the ground. It is built over another chamber which has enough sand packed into it. This chamber has four pillars that hold up the floor of the Garbhagriha over them. The floor hosts the main idol as well as its elements that constitute the idols "power". Once the Idol has been brought to "life" the temple is proclaimed a living temple and the main idol is put over to cover the secret within. Subsequently the idol is "appeared" to be worshipped while the actual worship is done for the idol as well as the elements below. The idol is a visual representation of a reality contained in the elements, today unknown to all of us, well almost unknown.

The Kumbhabhishekam is done to protect the temple and the idol from any natural disaster as well as those created by humans. Should there be trouble on a vast scale, and should the life of the "Worshipped" be at stake, the temple is designed to cave in. In cases of natural calamities, the main temple falls apart, pillars scattered after mandapas have crashed down.

At the Garbhagriha its a different story. The first to fall are the pillars right at the bottom, below the Garbha griha. They are designed to fall outwards such that they give room to the floor to fall downwards and out giving way to the Shiva Linga and its various elements to fallen through into the sand packing without being harmed or damaged. Once the Shiva Linga has fallen through it gets covered by the surrounding sand and then later by the rest of the rubble that crashes down rendering it buried safe till its unearthed at a later date.

A lot of thought and consideration went into the making and the prevention of any destruction to the Shiva Linga. This unique form of the Lord, subtly designed carries more to itself that what meets the eye. Thought went into safe guarding it, protecting it and leaving it within the lap of the earth to be dug up later for the world to see an ancient secret alive, evergreen.

Life: a battle to be won, not a moment to be lived

It would look like another day to anyone, a typical day with a new share of problems that we would have to solve, new challenges that we would have to face with surprises both good and bad. Srinivasan sat in a corner brooding. He had shot it down, his worship, his belief, his only hope left for a meaningful life.

Srinivasan had been through tough times. Tough being really tough, it had taught him a few good lessons that woke him up to strange truths about the worlds he lived in. It made him believe, be it his marriage, his job or even his life in the social circle, each was an illusion of it own kind presenting intoxicants and poisons at the same time. Then where was the truth and how could he escape it?

He posed this question to his Guru. Srinivasan had almost lost everything when his Guru stepped in to save the little left in his hands. He had gone weak, with guilt and couldn't quite believe he had broken the serious rules of orthodoxy that governed his life. Bringing himself back to the path appeared simple, though in the scale of value and importance it was imprinted in his mind for good. It was a thought that would stay in his mind 24x7 and would not leave him anymore.... easily.

He had done well at work, collecting accolades all over the place, making a comeback so strong, that had got him enough fame. The intoxication of success had given him wings, and strong ones, so strong that they could not be clipped by anyone but him. And fly he did, to heights unknown, with the intoxication rising with every additional flight. He had felt it, the high, the attention; it looked like an amazing world to be in. He almost thought he was invincible. Suddenly, the news came in, he had gone too far out and the return had to happen.

Srinivasan, descended with the same speed he had shot up, plummeting even faster that he couldn’t quite guide the fall. Now he sat in front of his Guru again, asking and begging to be saved. The next lesson of life came in and Srinivasan was taught. His values were the only stronghold he had, his respect was his only fortress and leaving this would be loosing the battle of life. Enemies would come in any form, praise, attention, success... you name it, but he would have to stay on the ground or fly lower. That was the mark of a spiritual man. He was taught to be self reliant, and not look beyond himself for attention or acceptance. He was taught that living this live means going through its labyrinth of illusion and there was no running away, the purpose was to fight it and win. Life is not about living and escaping, it’s about winning. It’s about looking at everything around like a puzzle, something that needs to be solved. It’s about looking at yourself at the moment of happiness with the same view as looking at yourself during pain.

Srinivasan thought, “Strange life! It starts only when you think you have learnt enough and you want to end it. It’s tougher than normal living where the mind can waver. Here it cant, it simply can’t and the rules are not meant to be broken, they have to be followed for a successful win, not just living.”

Srinivasan, sat back in his couch, taking a deep breath, another lesson learn, another moment of truth revealed. What matters most is self-respect, value and the sheer determination to live through with it and win.

Life is a game, one that lots play, but only few win!

Mano laya with Lord Shiva

The nature of classical music brings out the emotions within, in a controlled self-contained way where the energy within is channelized into rhythm with slow delivery. The mind can loose itself into the notes as they spill forth, and appreciation and enjoyment of the forthcoming notes brings out the emotion in the highest form.

It’s witnessed in the difference between Ananda Tandava and Rudra Tandava in Bharata shastra.

Every emotion is a display of what the human being is capable of, and if surrendered, even the heaviest emotion can be enjoyable.

Ananda Tandava is slow, a hand holding beat that dictates the next move. The body flows slowly, the emotions finding their way through mudra. It’s like speech with the Lord Himself. The Lord dances alongside, His eyes locked in mine as we perform together in the stage of life.

As the note rises He leads, inviting me to display the next emotion. The back moves, swaying with the note, the echoing rhythm around the pillared hall, the chalangai(ghunguru) being the only connect to this realm. All feet locked within the notes, the rhythm rolls on. Its a strange experience when the emotions find ways to explode through silent moves, so self contained that their potency needs to be experienced and not understood.

A quiet world, where the eyes meet, the feet move together and the fingers bloom into mudra, each abhinaya a word in silence falling out. Such is the potency of classical music and dance, understood by few, experienced in silence, each experience a concentrate within the self brought out, felt, cherished, remembered.

Rudra Tandava, a little faster in excitement adds more flavour to the moves. The excitement within, a completely different emotion jumps forth uncontrolled. The flow of the emotion much faster this time, needs to be directed with more care for the emotions move faster than the body itself. Thats when the Lord leads the way, and I follow, unaware that every step is repeated with the same underlying mano layam(chemistry).

It’s a challenge to keep up, to walk through the minefield of sprouting emotions each in a different direction as he shows me the abhinaya to dance through in rhythm. The result is a vibrant move of the body, a sway so strong, that my incapable self manages to handle. The eyes speak in excitement, the expression reflecting on the face, as my hand slice through the air following the Lord's every step. The feet rise and fly into the air as the chalangai(ghunguru) clap to the wild swing.

Its just a world of pure emotion, a vibration in the mind, ripples cutting through the air as two bodies rhythmically move, in the light of the dancing crescent moon among the jatas that form silent black waves enveloping both into complete mano laya.

Complete emotion experienced!!

Awakening the Nadi Gantham at the Nabhi Kamalam.

The realm of Vishnu and Brahma on Ananthasayanam:

Life as we see it is a time period we exist in current consciousness and depart without knowledge of the next world. Perfect life is that which gives us a far more conscious mind, which knows exactly what happens during life and during death.
What is that perfect life? The great Chola architects have tried to depict this very concept at the temple of Chidambaram, which hosts Nataraja in Ananda Tandava.
The temple itself is a breathing reality of human life.

Our body is not just about eating, breathing and being active. There are 72000 nadis unheard of which are the integral support system of our body embedded well within our nerves system. Once inactive, life ceases to exist – we are called dead. Waking these nadis up is the stage of reaching Nadi Gantham, a higher level of purification of the body, where the 72000 dormant nadis get active transforming a person’s life into happiness, success and peace at the same time.

Where does all this stem from? Its peculiar that one of the most important Gods in the Trinity is hardly heard of these days. Brahma, the main God behind our lives assigns the bija mantra that we shall live with, the type of life we shall lead and the kind of death we would be subjected to. The awakening of the Nadi Gantham is a long process, which is attained by severe penance or can be attained sooner depending on “Purva punya stanam” meaning your deeds in your last birth that grant you the opportunity in this birth.

What happens during the first few months of birth?
The life support of the umbilical chord is cut off once the child is born. This is carefully covered to keep out any infection. During this time the child knows nothing about the world it lives in. If the soft bone of the skull closes sooner than expected at the region of the Sahasraha chakra, it means the child is not going to live long. For the next 90 days the operating system is head quartered at the Nabhi Kamalam, or the navel area. This is when the child suddenly starts to cry due to acute pain in the stomach, since it begins to swell up. After this the Nabhi Kamalam turns active, the 72000 nadis begin to function, the skull closes slowly, the bija mantra gets formed (Brahma’s talai ezhutu) and the child wakes up to its known world and recognizes Ma. During this time the only external supply is mother’s milk. These are the crucial days that decide whether the child is going to survive, and whether the child is going to do well in its spiritual life or not.

What happens during death?
Death comes in three ways. Kapala moksha is when the life energy or prana leaves the body through the small crack in the Sahasraha chakra in the head. This is what is called salvation. Its happens to select few who do not have rebirth and are lucky enough to get assisted during the moments of death. During this time the only intake is milk and tulsi water.
Most people go through death where the prana leaves the body through the Nabhi Kamalam. The navel region is that part which is the entry as well as the exit point for all who live and die in this life. The Nabhi Kamalam works as the exit door for the soul leaving the body.
The worst form of death happens to those who have cheated others, have been corrupt and have sinned through their lives. This form of death is painful to say the least. In this case, the prana leaves the body through the genitals, through the Yoni for women and through the male organ for men. This can be a saving grace if the person stays unconscious during the moment of death. But should he/she be conscious it’s the experience of suffering of the worst kind. This causes excess urination and gasping for breath at the same time, can be a deadly experience while exiting the world.

Nabhi Kamalam: Where Brahma rises out of Vishnu's navel
Of greater interest to us is the concept of the Nabhi Kamalam and its connection with our lives today. The Nabhi Kamalam is the zone that activates the Nadi Gantham or nerve centers of the body. This has been beautifully depicted in mythology where Brahma the Creator is seen seated on a lotus that rises out of Lord Vishnu's navel, who lies down on Ananthasayanam in the cosmic ocean. Truly a beautiful depiction of a concept so close to us, of something so real, and of which we are least aware of!

In conscious living the pranavom mantra OM is brought out from the “pit of the stomach” or the Nabhi Kamalam as we breathe it out as OOOMMM, the very basic form of life energy, which we experience in a glimpse through our lives. Brahma is not just a Creator, he is our life giver, he decides our future, he decides fate, and he gives life for us to live it.

Hinduism is a "science" of a higher kind, its not fiction!

A spider's way to salvation

It was a calm morning while Srinivasan sat down to offer his puja to Lord Shiva. Having organized every thing for a morning abhishekam, he lit the lamps and settled down to a routine rhythm of mantras that had been assigned for the worship.

In a little copper cup by his side he kept a dwi-mukhi rudraksha, submerged in water as instructed. The hymns began in rhythmic motion, one rhythm following another in gentle flow repeating each verse at least 18 times. It was during this moment that Srinivasan happened to notice the copper cup.

A small black spider had fallen in and stayed still sinking into the water, with absolutely no attempt to swim to safety. He wondered where it had come from. He hastily picked up the spoon from the "panchapaatra udrini"(a traditional container with a spoon that carries water, found in every household.) and helped the spider to dry ground.

Srinivasan, watched the spider, crawl around with trouble, trying to free a few of its legs from the heavy drops of water that covered its abdomen. He stared back at the Linga, with calm, smiling to himself that he had helped the creature to safety. Srinivasan’s mind went places as he recited the Rudram, to all the shrines of Lord Shiva he had visited, to all the Garbha Grihas he had stood in front of, watching the Lord in all His finery and the intoxicating ambience of those silent rocky interiors that had withstood time.

He stared back at the Spatika linga after he bathed it in abhishekam. It glowed from within the chamber of the puja room. Its glow was strange, brighter light than what he had otherwise seen. Was it the light refracting differently or was it something else? He wondered as he carried on the hymns, loosing himself yet again. Srinivasan moved the taambaalam(a brass plate) to the side carefully so as not to spill the water that had bathed the Linga. It was now holy, with mantra concentrate, every word, every breath captured in every drop of water that had fallen on the Lingam. Potent water, of which he had taken three sips, a blessing from the Gods, a portion of life for the plants when he finally poured it into their roots.

There was silence in the room yet again and Srinivasan bowed down, the final namaskaram(bow in adoration) as he prayed for peace of mind and turned to clear the place. The taambaalam contained a mirror of water, a deathbed to some and life giver to others. In the water floated the spider, now lifeless. It lay upside down, its life taken by the heavy words of worship as it departed from what we call the realm of the living. Srinivasan stared speechless, thinking hard. The spider had always wanted to die, it had looked for water, water that was potent with the power of the Lord Himself and finally guided itself to its final destination.

Srinivasan found it very strange, that the spider seemed to know what lay within the taambaalam, for its walls were high enough to contain a volume of water, that was more a sheet of death that enveloped its very life within its surface. Srinivasan was overwhelmed. While his plants grew exceptionally wilder, the power of the mantra being visible in every pore of their leaves, making them look ever so fresh, the same life giving water was now the path to salvation for a small spider that had insisted to end its life within it.

Srinivasan sat back, a tear rolling down his eyes, as he stared at the lifeless spider float in the water. He had no idea how spiders end their lives, but this one looked very strange. Srinivasan picked up the spider from the water, went to the plants, dug into the mud and buried it. He poured the water into every plant reciting the mantra praying this time, not for himself but for the spider that had shown him that there is a mind in every creature, big and small and that the path to salvation opens up in strange ways.

A moment with Lord Shiva within

A moment of stillness
All time stops,
the world freezes
I take a single breath
A fresh breath of life
As I look around me
People lost in their worlds
Of suffering, expectation and misery
Walk aimlessly through their lives

It’s a pause in time
A moment of awakening
When all else just sleeps
An enveloping calm
A cocoon of peace
As I walk through this forest of people
Careful not to disturb

To each his own
Clinging to anything
Familiar worlds
An escape from all fears
Of darkness, of loneliness, of lull
A fear so thick
Like a blanket it clouds
Their sense of reason to live free

An aimless life
Of meticulous effort
An endless desire to please
All those around
To suffer the pain of bondage
Seeking all around
A sense of approval
A sense of acceptance
Of their pathetic selves.

Oh wake up fair people
The world is a great place to be
If love be thy first mantra to see
To show all around
Nothing changes but the self
The world at large fails to see
The truth in these words
The silent path to peace

This moment of pause
My silent world beyond
all the madness around me
A world free from all
A world where the Gods reside
The heavens thrown open
The celestial dancers perform
A hall of glory and knowledge
A hall within me

A hall so bright with knowledge
A land so pure with the truth
A complete life of immortality
A complete world of potency
Where every moment is
A shining pearl of experience.

Life in my body,
fresh air in my breath
A shine to my skin
A twinkle in my eye
An ever-lasting smile
Sweetness grows in my heart
As nectar of love flows forth
Cleansing away all my misery

A body so pure, a mind so clean
A heart so free, for every one to see
Words in poetic motion flow
Give rhythm to my feet
The lord dances in
A world of pure energy
Such is the beauty within
Is it so tough to see?

A single moment of pause
A whole new world revealed
A moment of experience
To know and to believe.
While the darkness sets in
The light shines within me
Where all roads end
I am the path to Myself
Where all misery halts
I am the freedom within

The lord shines within me
The Lord speaks to me
The Lord dances in my heart
The Lord lives for all to see
That silent potency I finally touched
So unknowingly so carelessly
I feel so light and warm
I feel I have set myself free.


Photograph: Ekamukhalinga, Nepal.

A magical dance with Chidambaram Nataraja

The temple courtyard
my floor
The pillared halls
echo the rhythm
The calling, a beat
the mridangam
resounding into the air
The grand theater of Chidambaram
My dancing hall in gold.

The nature of dance
pure emotion
The art of Bharata
The expression in abhinaya
A language unknown
yet felt within
The lord awaits in silence
All i see are the birds
The sky, nothingness
pure space
Chidambaram Nataraja

I know no dance
no such expression
yet the body moves
in every action
every thought
every mudra
a natural so unborn
that i do not know
what is right from wrong
I just flow

The world around
appreciates the aesthetics
A high form of expression
felt but not understood
touched but not analysed
witnessed but not experienced
A natural am I
that even i do not know

The performer I am
in the dance of life
overflowing from within
unknown to myself
for I do not see
that which I emote
I just perform
the dance of life!

A call to the Lord
to dance with me
the twist in the hand
the wish fulfilled
He descends to the floor
for me to see
in silent space
the air moves
the vigor around
the dust shaken
the leaves fly
the flames dance
the mridangam in rhythm
gives the beat
the sound reverberates
the Lord touches the floor
the earth shakes

Together we move
Together the expression
Together the power of dance
Together the emotion
Together the abhinaya
Complete mano laya
Complete conciusness
The world stops
the air freezes
time halts
nothing moves
just two forms
displaying the beauty
of life within.

The meaning of Chidambaram

Chi- refers to the purifying of the consciousness,
dam – the rhythm of the Bharata Shastra, the basis of which is given by Patanjali here at this sthala
ba – the lifting of the leg in the rhythm of Tandava Nataraja in all 8 directions of the Ashtadikapalas,
ram – the Na Ma Shi Va Ya Panchakshara mantra as taught by Lord Shiva to the Sanahadimunivargal, the desciples of Dakshinamurthy Shiva.