The lost joy of being a Brahmin Priest

In the ancient days priesthood was a very prized position and was not earned merely by birth, it was earned by hard work and excellent education in the deep roots of ancient philosophy. But as all things change, this too changed for the worse.

Time, need and desire have changed the overall landscape of this divine profession. There doesn’t appear to be too much pride in this role any more as it is clouded by the deadly imagery of corruption, greed and complete disrespect for the divine. Incidentally these men are the keepers of the faith and sadly they had not lived up to divine or mortal expectations. I have had very sad experiences with current day Brahmin priests, and like every other person walking to the temples with some hope, my desires towards a drop of enlightenment have been massacred too within these ancient walls, leaving me with a bad taste in my mouth towards my own faith. While most of us end up cursing the faith itself and search for our own warped inner peace, the only way I have known that works for my temperament is to believe extremely deeply in the faith but disqualify the current keeper of it. The bottom line being, I am the keeper of this faith at this time and it is my duty to learn it for myself and not depend on anyone for it. 

But I have wondered about the role itself and often felt the urge to want to learn the science of it. I have taken active interest to learn ritual to some degree to my personal satisfaction and have also fallen prey to the disease of "How things should be done" as compare to "What are these things and why are they done that way". I don’t have the answers to everything, but yes I have chosen not to question everything in order to believe it, because I know, if I wait for an answer and not practice in the mean time, I will just lose precious time and that is not good. Hence I am a believer, and I love the rule of discipline and orthodoxy consciously because I know, its the only way to reign my wandering mind back into my "divine" self. I have chosen this path.

And this decision has set my mind thinking many times. What if I was blessed to be a Brahmin priest in the ancient days... how would I have been?   

I would have considered myself the luckiest. The joy of this role speaks for itself. While in these times it is a job that reeks of corruption, deceit, and utter selfish motive with no adoration towards the Lord incarnate, the original purity of this role was well worth several lifetimes.

The moments of spiritual bliss, the pockets of joy dotting my day would be in the rigorous worship of the Lord from the early hours of the morning to the late hours of the evening. What a wonderful moment it would be to enter into the sacred garbha griha as if it was my own home and chant sweet words of adoration to his being that rests within these thick walls of time. The gabha griha otherwise is forbidden ground, for only the pure can enter. Its ironical that in these times, one has to be pure physically while the mind festers the darkest poisons within itself!

Lighting the lamps and pouring the oil to keep that divine flame alive, bathing the Lord in traditional abhishekam and dressing Him in his royal robes and decorating Him with beautifully woven garlands of flowers and vilva leaves...I would eagerly wait for this moment everyday and when it becomes the main task of my life to spend these living hours with Him, wouldn’t I be truly blessed?

To have a feeling of divine ownership, to be the ever present servant of the Lord during my living hours, to be the keeper of His home, to be the cook for his daily meal that He blesses as Prasadam, to sing to Him and pour sprinkles of Bhakti in these divine tunes, to hold up the divine light of Arti and see Him up close in all his grandeur, what more can I ask of life.

It would be joyous to share the divine light with any bhakta who came to His doorstep, it would be a pleasure to explain the divine doctrine and enlighten people to understand His presence within this idol and its significance. It would be inner happiness while I contribute to the community to teach this knowledge to all who are interested. How then can I ask for money blatantly when others would like to share this joy? How then can I be rude when a bhakta attempts to learn more about His divinity? How then can I sell my knowledge to perform rites for a few hundred bucks? How can I cheat people of their inner peace when they come to meet the Lord? And finally how can I ever face the Lord the next day when I come back into his chamber...until I have killed the life in him and consider him just a stone and my knowledge is just part of a text book and left me with no wisdom... when I have not spent my time doing my fair share of Vichara?

Priesthood is a definite path to heaven, if the path is chosen and lived well. While the path starts in the lines of religion, it slowly converts to spiritualism. My time and consciousness is always towards the Lord, my mind stops taking this as a regular job but starts working on the lines of contemplation i.e. Vichara. He is always there and yet not that close for me to feel Him, He plays with my mind, a silent game of hide and seek and leave me a whole lifetime to learn and understand him. He gives me all that is needed, the environment, the divine scriptures, and the constant time that I need to serve Him and its now my turn to realize the true value of what lies in front of me. My only magic portion is Bhakti and when I sing in its tunes, my spiritual path lights up before me... I am now a true bhakta. I am no longer a priest; I am Shiva, pure divine consciousness.

Mysteries of a Siddhapith - Journey into Tarapith

I have never seen a more brimming tantrik locality up so close and Tarapith is in every word a land of intrigue, secrecy and divinity. With the break of day, what hits the eye is a glow of red everywhere in this busy little street that leads up to the temple. Red signifying the mother's presence in the hibiscus flowers, red in all the spiritual paraphernalia out on sale, red in the attire of the so called divine pandits who cloud the entrance to the main temple, red in the tilak or sindhur that is slapped on our foreheads and red on the walls of these ancient temples.

Tarapith is a busy little town, dirty and rural and there is just one road that leads up there from our urban world. This is the old rural Bengal, hardly visible in Kolkata though streaks of this lifestyle can be seen at Kalighat. And of course, I was well on my way to one of the most secretive locations of high tantrik activity with nothing to stop me! This was a trip I had been waiting for...for ages.

The spell of Tarapith is something different. This is the only place, to my knowledge, that potentially has no rules or restrictions. I found myself gliding into every forbidden territory without anyone stopping me. This was freedom of a different kind and believe me, for the first time I experienced the meaning of fearlessness from the tantrik perspective.

This school of thought defined by tantra, mantra and yantra that is so mystical and at the same time obvious in every Indian home is still such an undefined theory and yet so powerful. While nothing is apparent, and we do not get instant results for every ritual performed, the very power that governs the aura here doesn't leave room for doubt or the desire to test it. The green countryside of Bengal leads up to this red laden land, where every person looks at us in curiosity because we stand apart so much and in some cases, we appear to be the answer to their attempts of making a quick buck.

And I soaked myself in all this, while delighting myself with all the small ritual objects that sell in these little shops, and dipped into the traditional dish of luchi with alu torkari. It was easy to understand the first half of the visit, we just followed the crowd that led up to the temple. We crossed over the shops, bought a garland of bright red hibiscus and walked up to the main temple door to be met by a sleepy policeman who barely bothered to check us.

The only disgusting element of Tarapith was the level of corruption that beat every other place, be it Jagannath Puri, Kalighat or Lingaraj temple Bhuvaneshwar or the south. We were literally nabbed by a swarming bunch of brahmin priests with no sense of self respect or dignity. They were beggars, selling bits of mantra at a price, and that too came very cheap [Rs 10/-]. While I was a victim of this disgust, I managed to fight my irritation back and kept my focus glued to the Mother, but when the priest demanded money for just entry into the main sanctum, with no other way out of the temple, my hatred towards my race increased even more. It was so much the wrong feeling to have at the temple.

Despite the madness, despite the corruption, despite the money sucking brahmin priests who wouldn't leave our side up to the end, despite the demand for more dakshina at every step leading up to the main sanctum, the first sight of Ma Tara quite makes us forget everything. 

She is welcoming, warm and yet she is defiant of rules. She gives a feeling of freedom, seated on her throne decorated in red hibiscus flowers and at the same time has an aura of the wild depicted by the permanent circle of blood around her mouth with a lolling tongue. She is peaceful and has this power that surrounds her, she is so distant and untouched despite the chaos created by the men around her. She sits there with disheveled hair, matted locks that are so heavy and wet to touch. Her face shines in silver, with blood red sindhur always covering her forehead. Her eyes are powerful and yet there is this vast difference between our world and hers and that is so visible in her knowing smile as she watches us through this imaginary curtain of maya that separates her from us.

Truly, our worlds are so different. Ma Tara, the mysterious Goddess of the Shamshan ghat, the secret mother of the night is awake and alive at day break within this sacred shrine at Tarapith, to just remind us of this imaginary world we live in, blanketed by a web of rules.

Related post:

The silent Tara of the night - Tarapith

The miracle at Manimahesh peak, Chamba

In Rabbinical literature from the scene of the Law-giving, there are different names that have been attributed to the Mountain of Horeb, the sacred peak under whose shadow Moses received the Ten Commandments from God. Etymologically speaking, the name Horeb is thought to mean Glowing Heat which could reference the Sun. The alternative name given to this peak is Sinai, a name derived from Sin, alias the Moon God who is a Sumerian deity. Among other names, are the Mountain of Elohim and Mountain of Yhwh, but the peak finally settled with the name of the Mountain of Horeb while the land around it is called Sinai, and in Hebrew literature, this is referenced as a desert. 

Let’s go back to the moment, when the Lord appeared in front of Moses in the form of a burning bush and gave him the Ten Commandments of good living. Moses saw this bright fire while he was tending his sheep. Working back on what this vision would have been, Moses would have seen an extremely bright light on the peak of the Mountain of Horeb, a blinding light that glowed on him as the sacred rules came forth. What a miraculous moment in time it was, experienced by Moses and recorded for posterity. Further in this story as referenced in the bible, the Israelites came to camp at Rephidim after the Exodus from Egypt. Moses watched his people suffer from thirst and by the Grace of God and His command, he smote water from a rock on Horeb, and there is believed to be this rising oasis of water in this bleak region that surrounds the Sacred Mountain. 

*--------------------*--------------------*

Lost in deep mountains of the Himalayas, in the steep undulating landscape of Himachal Pradesh near the village of Bharmour, Chamba district is a mountain of equally great value. Proclaimed to be a replica of the great mountain of Kailash, this peak rises up into the landscape delivering a majestic view of itself. Gigantic in form that almost reduces us to mere ants in its monumental presence, this peak rises up into the sky draped in the white robes of the glacier that covers it. And right there, at its foot is the Shiv Kund, the natural lake that mimics the Mansarovar at the foot of Kailash Parvat.

The vision of this peak and the landscape around it as well as the value of sacred lore that covers it make this experience a lot more worth while. Apart from the treacherous trek of 13 kms up-slope following narrow paths along these steep slopes, the view of this Mountain is what we received when we finally reach the foot of Manimahesh Mountain, and this is a divine treat for all the hard work.   
 

The Lord's grace works in strange ways. While Moses had the opportunity to see the Grace of the Lord in what is referenced as a burning bush of fire, this piece of paradise in Chamba promises similar grandeur. The serenity of this location, in poetic terms is known to showcase the many aspects of Lord Shiva. In the backdrop of the blue sky, dotted with clouds that seem like celestial beings floating and gracefully dancing around, this peak mirrors itself in the reflection visible in the sacred Kund that stand directly below it. What a presence it has and what a view it is for us to imbibe.

They say that when the sky is clear, on a starry night, the moonlight falls on the white glacier of this peak and the reflection of it in the Shiv Kund below appears like the very Lord Shiva is seated here, draped in light with the same crescent moon on his forehead, glowing as it were on the peak of Manimahesh mountain. The moon, as it adorns this peak, appears like a sparkling jewel, alias Mani, which glows in the night sky giving this mountain its name - Manimahesh.

But what happens the next morning is an even more breath taking view. Strange at it is, the direction for the view and the location of the mountain with the Shiv Kund at is feet, is a magical placement to bring us one of the most divine spectacles of life. People flock to Manimahesh to catch a glimpse of this miracle, which in my mind equals that of what Moses saw on the sacred mountain of Horeb.

During the months of August and September, people scale these great slopes of the Himalayan foothills to reach this mountain and be granted this view. The idea is to wake up early and catch the first glimpses of the sun as it rises. And then the divine world strikes its chord. In the early hours of the morning, as the sky begins to slowly brighten up, this great mountain stands in front, as a silhouette to the phenomenon that is about to unfold. The day brightens slowly, and as we face east to view this great wall of earth, the first glimpse of the Sun God we receive is from the pinnacle of this mountain. As time passes by, and the light glows into the horizon, the sun rises up in dazzling light, like a blazing diamond glowing in its supreme self at the peak of Manimahesh, blinding us and blessing us with this experience. At this moment, the Mani on Lord Shiva's head shines out far more in brilliance like a thousand suns glowing in the morning sky presenting us this absolutely spectacular view. 

This divine experience, this breathtaking view is one such example that showcases the miracles of the supreme in its own strange way, making us relive the presence of Lord Shiva during our earthly existence. This is reality in our terms and this divine experience is not hard to come by, it just needs to be discovered!

Photo courtesy:

http://traveltolight.com/

http://www.smmsisters.org

Analogy of the Tree of Life

The Tree of Life was first planted by Asoka as the backbone on which his edicts were inscribed, a code of conduct that engraved the principles of dharma presented for evolved living to the common man. Back then, the earth was dug open ceremoniously with great honor and respect, and a pot with pure water was laid inside it signifying the cosmic ocean over which this great stone edict was hoisted. With this started a new beginning, faith was reborn and the principles of good living were declared to the masses.

This was how Asoka had envisioned it, during the birth of the Buddhist era. The pot signifies the constant presence of the cosmic ocean, undying and enriching, sustaining all of life that flourishes across this land. This principle never died and through these ages, it took shape in different ways across regions. Hinduism adopted the essence of this principle, and extended the philosophy of water cosmology not just into its temples and art forms but into is life style and ritual as well.

Temples boasted this principle along their walls. The Bhiti [walls] was an elaborate canvas that displayed great Gods in their iconic representations seated or standing within their niches. The tree of life has been depicted as an elaborate decorative pot oozing with the cosmic waters supporting all of life, life that was blessed by the divine parent Lord Shiva and Parvati. These pillared examples, depicted deities as well as architectural structures that rose out of this pot of cosmic water.

Ritual brings out this very same principle by representing all of divinity in the sacred waters of the pot that is the main deity, pulsating with life during the course of the ritual. The Kalasha, brimming with sacred water, capped by mango leaves, signifying the king of all trees, holds a coconut in the center which in reality holds water within itself, signifying the larger principle of the tree of life rising out of its natural cosmic waters. 

These various representations of the tree of life, celebrate the miracle of life in Hindu mythology as the birth of Brahma in the center of tender lotus petals that bloom out of the navel of Lord Vishnu who floats in the cosmic ocean. This deep rooted law of life, curiously depicted by Lord Vishnu and Brahma is a representation of life as we see it in reality within the womb of the mother. The womb is the shell within which lies the cosmic waters, self generated miraculously by Shakti to house the unborn, the pulsating tree of life that is floats in this ocean, sustained by the lotus stem of the umbilical chord.

And then... the pot breaks, transitioning life from one realm into the next. The waters of the sacred Kalasha are sprinkled all over the house and its respective family members, as it soaks them in its divine blessings and transitions them to evolved living symbolically. In reality, the mother delivers her new born into this world transitioning it towards the next realm amidst much pain.

But all pots breaking may not result in happy endings, though they depict transition from one realm to a different realm. This is another journey to be done, another transition to be crossed. When life has come its full way, and all the waters of life drain out of the physical body, what remains behind is the corpse that awaits it final journey. Be it burial or be it cremation, the dead lie facing north/south and the final rites are performed.

Three rounds of circum-ambulation depict the transition of consciousness from one state to the next. With each round, a hole is punched into an unburnt earthen pot that releases this precious cosmic water that flows out gently around the dead, signifying the cosmic ocean at the center of which they lie asleep, awaiting to be woken up into the next realm. With the third hole punched, all of the cosmic waters are released, signifying the opening of the third eye of the dead for an enlightening journey ahead to the next world. With this life in our reality moves on and the pot now empty is broken to transition the soul to the next realm.

This journey doesn’t end here, for it is blessed with the glorious representation of the inner truth of the immortality of life, celebrating the journey of the soul in the presence of the trinity at this hour. A simple earthen clay pot carries much significance in the ritual representation of this transition of the soul, be it in the echoes of the sacred Asoka edicts or be it the loud cries of a mother in labor, life is born again.

Also of interest:

Lajja Gauri and the Tree of Life

Photo courtesy: Kerala Murals

Invocation to Goddess Lakshmi - Part 2

Om Prabhaayai namaha: I bow to Her, who is radiant like the sun, surrounded by a golden hue she glows like a thousand brilliant suns.

Om Chandra Vadanaayai namaha: I bow to Her, who is moon faced, composed and subtle in her beauty and is the virtue of goodness.

Om Chadraayai namaha: I bow to Her, who is like ambrosia, like the sacred moon in the night, subtle energy that prevails within me.

Om Chandra Sahodaryai namaha: I bow to Her, who is also considered the second moon that rose out of the ocean of milk when the great Gods were churning it.

Om Chaturbhujaayai namaha: I bow to Her, the four armed who is the personification of supreme truth

Om Chandra Roopayai namaha: I bow to Her, moon faced ever radiant Goddess Lakshmi who is luminous to all.

Om Indiraayai namaha: I bow to Her, who is seated on a golden lotus throne in the Ocean of nectar

Om Indusheetalaayai namaha: I bow to Her, who is ever bright like the sun, who is sacred ambrosia like the moon, who is the power that rules our minds, who frees us from all our sins.

Om Aahlaada Jananyai namaha: I bow to Her, the source of all happiness who rules this universe and brings happiness to all her devotees.
Om Pustaayai namaha: I bow to Her, the ever youthful who is tender and always radiant.

Om Shivaayai namaha:
I bow to Her, the auspicious one who blesses this universe

Om Shivakaryai namaha: I bow to Her, the embodiment of auspiciousness, the primordial energy invoked by devotees.

Om Sathyai namaha: I bow to Her, the real truth, the all powerful, the ultimate reality.

Om Vimalaayai namaha: I bow to Her, the all pure and the most benevolent, most loving and the most powerful.

Om Vishwa Jananyai namaha:  I bow to Her, the mother of the universe, the compassionate and loving Goddess, the virtuous who brings happiness to all.

Om Pushtayai Namaha: I bow to Her, the one who glistens, the one who possesses all wealth. She blesses all her devotees with immense wealth and happiness.

Om Dharidhrya-nashinyai namaha: I bow to Her, who kills and destroys all inferior thoughts and actions that try to rule my mind

Om Preethi Pushkarinyai namaha: I bow to Her, O Lotus eyed Goddess who is so bewitchingly beautiful and compassionate, the graceful one who resides in my mind.

Om Shaanthayai namaha: I bow to Her, who is so calm and serene, who brings with her such peace and tranquility. The sky glows in the colors of the rainbow, seeing which the peacock dances bringing alive heavenly Paradise to earth.

Om Shukla Malyaambharayai namaha: I bow to Her, who is so pure and radiant, wearing a garland of imperishable fragrant white flowers.

Om Shriyai Namaha: I bow to Her, the Goddess of all the wealth in the universe.

Om Bhaskaryai namaha: I bow to Her, the radiant one, shining like the sun, virtuous and ever dazzling

Om Bilvanilayaayai namaha: I bow to Her, who is seated on her divine lotus seat, under the serene shade of the bilva tree.

Om Varaarohaayai namaha: I bow to Her, the sweet and compassionate mother who is always ready to grant boons and wishes.

Om Yashasvinyai namaha: I bow to Her, the slender and beautiful goddess who is reputed to be the embodiment of highest knowledge, the path to ultimate reality.

Om Vasundharaayai namaha: I bow to Her, the daughter of this earth, who is the embodiment of creation, preservation and destruction.
 

Om Kudarangayai namaha

Om Harinyai namaha: I bow to Her, who is doe eyed, slender and gentle like the deer

Om Hemamaalinyai namaha: I bow to Her, who shines so bright with the golden garlands she wears around herself.

Om Dhanadhaanya karyai namaha: I bow to Her, the killer of all poverty who bestows wealth and food grain over her devotees.

Om Siddhaye namaha: I bow to Her, who magically protects and saves all her devotees, defeating all evil 

Om Straina Sowmyaayai namaha: I bow to Her, the beautiful one who showers her compassion and protection towards women.

Om Shubha Pradaayai namaha: I bow to Her, the auspicious one, who is the fountain head, from whom all wealth in this universe is generated.

Om Nrupaveshma Gathanandayai namaha: I bow to Her, the flamboyant Goddess who loves to live in palaces, within those who have large hearts.

Om Varalakshmyai namaha: I bow to Her, who is bountiful and compassionate to all those who worship her with devotion

Om Vasupradaayai namaha: I bow to Her, the ever giving, who grants all kinds of wealth to her devotees.

Om Shubhaayai namaha: I bow to Her, the auspicious one who brings good fortune and prosperity.

Om Hiranya Praakaarayai namaha: I bow to Her, the shining one, resplendent with the glitter of gold all around her.

Om Samudra Tanayaayai namaha: I bow to Her, the daughter of the ocean of milk, one among 14 gems that emerged from its depths.

Om Jayaayai namaha: I bow to Her, the victorious one, faultless, brilliant and omniscient

Om Mangalaadevyai namaha:  I bow to Her, the auspicious and good one who takes form as a deity and resides within my heart as pure consciousness.

Om Vishnuvaksha Stala stithayai namaha: I bow to Her, the one who resides in Lord Vishnu's chest, who is his beloved.

Om Vishnupatnyai namaha: I bow to Her, the divine consort of Lord Vishnu, the preserver of this universe

Om Prasannakshyai namaha: I bow to Her, who is lotus eyed, golden hued, who holds gracefully a lotus flower in her hand

Om Naaraayana Samaashritaayai namaha: I bow to Her, who resides in Lord Vishnu's chest, who sort refuge within his being

Om Daaridrya Dwamsinyai namaha: I bow to Her, who brings richness and prosperity to all, who destroys all kind of inferior thought or action in the minds of her devotees.

Om Devyai namaha: I bow to Her, who is divine and gracious protecting and blessing this universe with riches

Om Sarvopadrava Nivaarinyai namaha: I bow to Her, who dispels all evil and frees her devotees from distress.

Om Navadurgaayai namaha: I bow to Her, the goddess who is the embodiment of the 9 Durgas.

Om Mahaakaalyai namaha: I bow to her, who is the terrific, taking the form of Ma Kali, the 8 handed Goddess, who destroy all evil

Om Brahmavishnu Shivatmikayai namaha: I bow to Her, who is the very embodiment of the trinity, who has within her being the presence and power of Brahma, Vishnu and Shiva

Om Trikaala Gyana Sampannayai namaha: I bow to Her, the all pervasive Goddess who controls all time [past/present/future] and is present in all the three worlds at the same time.

Om Bhuvaneshvaryai namaha: I bow to Her, the controller of the whole universe, the all powerful who rings the bell of victory and possesses the pitcher of nectar in her hand.

Om Udaaraangaayai namaha: I bow to Her, who is all potent and full of energy, who is endowed with a beautiful and graceful body, sensuous and powerful at the same time.

Om Mahalakshmi Devataayai namaha: I bow to Her, the supreme Goddess, the divine one, the radiant one, the pure one.

Photo courtesy: Copyright © 2010 Cool Magazine All Rights Reserved

Consciousness at the great mountain of Thiruvannamalai

Arunachala Mountain

When all knowledge fades into oblivion
When the curtains of faith are drawn to look beyond
When the essence of existence is defined by consciousness
I am here, and now, at the great mountain of Thiruvannamalai.

Srinivasan stared up at the great mountain of Thiruvannamalai and contemplated over his spiritual journey realizing that he had been so blind, so theoretical, so completely stubborn all these days. It had been such a struggle despite all the accumulated knowledge. He had read many books, he had researched well, he had taken to changing his lifestyle into a real, though provoking journey laced with ritual. He now sat in front of the great mountain of Thiruvannamalai wondering why he had missed the point for so long.

He stared on, the gentle clouds covered its peak, like a silent glowing halo that danced around its pinnacle. It was so beautiful and so breath taking and he kept staring at its majestic presence in the otherwise flat landscape. It had been theory till today, that this mountain was the Kailash of the south. These words rang in his mind as he took a deep breath, what did these words really mean?

Like the great Kailash of the north, that doesn’t allow any person to set foot on itself, this great mountain too has many myths that surround it. Considered to be the very form of Lingodbhava, this mountain gave Srinivas the feeling of the self. These moments while he stared at this majestic piece of natural art were all about him, all about his life energy as the breath he took in consciously and the stark view of the mountain in an otherwise silent afternoon. Nothing else really mattered.

All that he had read, all that he had assumed he had achieved, all that he had considered to be part of a supreme thought, were now only ways to get there. Each way, be it tantra, yoga, or ritual, embedded this truth very subtly into their methodologies. Srinivasa realized it was not any one route that would help him in his journey; it was a combination of all of them. And now he was here, he, his mind and his body present together, having kept aside all these prescriptions to salvation he had come across so far. It was only him, and the mountain, and the rest of his life was put to silence for a few moments of complete consciousness.

His problems slowly faded away, his activities slowly died in his thoughts, his memories faded into oblivion and his worries didn’t exist anymore, he was one with the peak, he was a part of this mountain, egoless, selfless, bodiless... just consciousness.

His body was the home; his breath was the passage as he felt the energy rising in and out of it. He was an entity, a drop of consciousness that felt imprisoned within these walls. With every breath, he felt the tingle in his muscles, the gentle movement of air through his lungs and the cool feeling at his throat that lasted even longer with every oncoming breath. He prayed in his mind, to all the great beings who rested at this peak, to all the siddhas who has lived and worshiped here, to come down and bless him in their own silent way.

The great mountain of Thiruvannamalai now represented a composite geometry of the great Lord Shiva himself, every peak on itself represented a gateway to inner truth guarded by cosmic dwarapalas who make their presence felt only when one is conscious enough to tune into them. This peak, with its undulating surface, rocky slopes and lush green vegetation, in its form somewhere appeared like a stone cold rishi always in meditation, seated in padmasana, with his jatas falling over the pinnacle of his being. His body was this form, his breath was the ever living energy that surrounds this mountain, his consciousness was the living reality; the swayambhu linga that grew over this ground to now stand here, stark in this pale countryside.

Srinivasa looked up at the mountain and felt, he was such a miserable example of the same great truth. He was pure consciousness that had lost its way, he was the atma linga that had not realized its potential and he was the very same atman that lay deep, dormant asleep still within his bodily home. Breath and consciousness were his only weapons to fight the great battle of silence in his head and bring him remotely closer to his inner self.

To the great mountain of silent truth, to the ever present consciousness he was blind to, Srinivasan bowed down and prayed in all reverence, hoping to achieve something during his lifetime.

Photo courtesy: http://davidgodman.org/asaints/powerofa1.shtml

The silent Tara of the night - Tarapith

 

She walks the earth
The silent Goddess,
Mother of the cremation ground

Mother to the Lord himself
The blue hued one
In the moonless night

Her anklets resound
Sweet notes of a damsel

Mystical in her form
Fierce and powerful within

Ma Tara, the real,
the powerful, the mystical,
I bow to you in all reverence.

Local legends believe that the third eye of Goddess Sati hit the earth at Tarapith, but strangely this shrine didn't make it to the list of 51 shakti peethas. Tarapith might not be as well known beyond the shores of Bengal but within this region there are still loud cries of ancient tantricism brimming with life. Shrouded in the dense mysticism of ancient tantric practices lies a small temple to the north of Bengal. Believed to be graced by the heavens to have the third eye of Sati fall on its earth, this little temple came into existence based on a few obscure events. 

Insulted at the great sacrifice of Daksha, Sati entered the fires of death to perish in the very flames of purity that emanated from her. This event shook the universe for it left Lord Shiva, infuriated by the act of Daksha. He scaled the landscape wailing over the death of his beloved, carrying her corpse along with him, never to let go. Lord Vishnu took the final step and sent his discus to destroy what remained of her. With dizzying speed it cut through the air, tearing the dead flesh of the Goddess, she fell, scattering herself across the sacred earth of bholoka, on prithvi at 51 divine locations. Here fell her third eye, the power of enlightenment, the power of life, the essence of all siddhas...Tara pith came brimming to life, completely magical, intoxicating, powerful...

Vermilion defines her world, kumkum marks her presence. She had descended into this world dressed in the deep hues of vermilion, adorned in hibiscus and her favorite meal is flesh and blood. She is the the silent energy that wakes up in the night and dances in the cremation ground among the dead, among the fires. Tara, she has such a pleasant name, such a potent form and yet such a deadly look, so fierce that she could destroy all evil in a single glance. She walks the earth in silence, she is the prime resident of the cremation ground. She came alive as a mother to rid Lord Shiva off the poison he consumed to save the universe. She suckled him as a new born and nourished him with cool milk, and she empowered him with life.

Her long tresses flow down, covering her very being. In her heart she carries the Great Lord of the universe as a baby. She is fierce in appearance with disheveled hair and yet she has such warmth towards him as an infant. Tara, also known as Shamshan tara resides at Tara pith, the only sacred temple that makes the cremation ground its sacred home. While the fires turn all that is impure to dust, isn't it strange that the only way to enlightenment, the synonym of pure faith and salvation is in the unknown and unthinkable path of vama marga.

The sweetness of the Mahavidyas, the potency of feminine power coupled with the mysterious presence of the sacred goddesses who are the essence of all consciousness - shakti is not just energy, she is a mysterious world far more powerful than what meets the eye. She rises in the night, her meal is flesh and bone, her thirst is quenched by liquor, her garden is the burning ground, her ornaments are the limbs of the departed, her blinding truth is the strength to overcome death, her weapon is that which kills all fears. And this is visible in the lifestyle of all those who live by her side.

They are the living tantrics who have no home, nor fear nor food. They live on what the burning ghats offer them. They live with this stark reality all the time, death is a common site and sadhana is a regular part of their lives. Tarapith is the host of this wilderness, a shrine where there is little room for you and me. Here is a zone, where fewer thoughts reside, illusions of life silently die and immortality is defined not by progeny but the reality of one's own consciousness.

In the dense haze of this ignorance do I thirst to know the true form of the Goddess that awakens the mysteries of the night. The moon shines out and in its pleasant light does she shine, Oh the blue hued goddess hungry again for her drop of blood. Oh Tara Devi, do reveal to me the sacred yet secretive path that attracts me to you. May I see beauty even in your terrific being, may I see light in your twinkling deep blue eyes. May i feel your presence in the crackling flames of the cremation grounds by the night, may I breath this potent air refreshed with your presence. I bow to you oh Mother, to your beauty and to your fury, to your feminine potency, to your dazzling form, bathe me with your light, with your presence, with your life.

||Ghora roope mahamaaye sarvashatruvashamkari
Bhaktebhyo varade devi traahi maam sharanaagatham||

Fear of the unknown world beyond death

 

He lay there on his deathbed, his eyes graying within their dark circles as he furiously fluctuated between this world and the other. He barely recognized me and when he did it was not just an achievement for him, it was a moment of happiness for his family that he could actually connect with this world and its reality. He had grown thin and pale as the cancer had slowly eaten into most of his body. He still gave a beaming smile when he realized that he connected with me and is proper English retorted - I recognized you! That was the last smile I saw on his face.

I ascended the steps to visit him once again. This time he lay there silent, contained and wrapped in linen ready for his last journey. The grim atmosphere of the living waiting  for death to take him now had a strange sense of relief in all the enveloping sadness. He has suffered the last 5 hours and his family had resigned to removing the oxygen mask and leave him to his peril rather than keep him alive and torture him with more pain with the aid of medical science. There was no point, he had crossed the line and there was no coming back.

I sat there watching him and wondered what the purpose of his existence was. What was that moment while he battled the unknown at the time of transition from this world to the next. Isn't the solving of that mystery the soul purpose of our existence? The fact that I exist is the only truth that I am going to die. How then do I approach death?

We are presented with two things when alive, breath and consciousness and we waste it on comfort of various kinds. We essentially require a roof over our heads and 3 meals a day for survival but the line of desires is endless. The Tripura Rahasya echoes one thought through all its passages. This thought is to use the weapons of consciousness and breath to control just one enemy - our mind. Most people come out with cowardly statements of the inability to do so without even trying to achieve it. Our first problem is thought. The scriptures insist on controlling not just the thought but also the quality of it [impure/pure]. Everything else we do is pretty much a waste of time and life energy.

There will come that day, when we are lying there just like the old man, awaiting our moment of death. How many of us are going to be conscious about it and how many of us will have the courage to embrace the unknown when we are left with no choice? There is one more weapon that the Tripura Rahasya talks about that can bail us out of miserable death and that is the power of intelligence.

The human state is a state that enables us to take the right steps to practice and evolve ourselves to go to the next level. But the transition to the next level requires discarding of the body in this level and the only support we have is the power of our own intelligence. It is believed to be capable of doing many things, the starting point of course is the realization of what is reality. There is this old man lying in front of me, motionless - he is just mass, mass that is already on its way to decay. But where is he? Where is that consciousness that beamed a smile at me a day ago? Where did that go? What is the pulse of that reality of which I have no idea right now? And since I am an ignorant fool who doesn't understand that reality, how can I assume that this world is all the reality that exists?

Isn't the idea of reality a relative term in itself? The Tripura Rahasya beautifully illustrates this concept. You exist because my intelligence claims that you are there with a name and a background. If my intelligence ceased to recognize your presence, you simply don't exist in my reality. How then are you real? You then belong to relative reality, a part of a larger illusion that is so dense that we think its "real". And when we are faced with a person who has left his earthly state, what lies in front of us is a mass of human flesh waiting to be discarded. He now permanently ceases to be a part of our reality. Does that mean he doesn't exist at all, or is it that we don't know the other reality where he belongs now.

The Tripura Rahasya enlightens us with a spectacular theory. The only way to fight ignorance in life is to enhance the power of our intelligence. Intelligence is a weapon that can distinguish the real from the unreal and as it gets polished it loses all attachment to desire. It therefore renders a person completely detached from the workings of this world. The evolved soul now disconnects not only from the people around him but also from material comforts and more importantly from the familiarity within which he was cocooned. He now owes nothing to this world and has transcended the dense illusion within which he was imprisoned. Now, when the time comes for him to discard his earthly body, he is far more ready for a better transition where he is aware of the change and is freed from the misery of this dense cloud of imprisonment. He has no fear, he simply embraces the path ahead.

At that point, we still see a dead man, but he is the only one who knows how alive he is at the point of transition. He just leaves, he doesn't die. That is real achievement.

Photo courtesy: Moloy's photo stream

The definition of goodness

What would it be like if Kannappa Nayanar lived in these times and still managed to achieve his goal!

Let’s revisit his lifestyle in the backdrop of the world as it stands today.

If Kannappa, alias Chinna was born into a tribal family in today's times, he wouldn’t have caught your attention or mine purely because he belonged to a lesser society and might not have been as rich and been probably uneducated as well. Further more, if they continued to be hunters he would carry a gun, which would either be licensed or otherwise and he would be killing deer or other animals which are most probably endangered species.

Rolling back the life of Kannappa Nayanar, he was celebrated in his young age to have the valor of great king since he could take on a tiger single handedly at a very young age. If he tried that in these times, the "Save the tiger" campaign would have him behind bars.

He was born to his parents who were celebrated to be great administrators of their society. He grew up to be a courageous man but how does that matter – Where is the money? That fateful day when he went out hunting and found the Shiva temple on the hill, was the day he gave up his parents. To anyone, in today's times in any society, its so not the right thing to do. How irresponsible of a son, being the only child, to forsake his aging parents only to go and live else where. He was so completely wrong.

Meanwhile, Kannappa goes hunting, shoots down a deer or two, fills his mouth with water taken from a half dried up river and heads to the temple. He is only met with shock over the fact that he brought a bloody offering. Dripping all the way he makes it to the inner sanctum in an endless queue [he doesn’t have money to buy a quicker darshan]! He is met with disgust, horror and complete judgment for having come and stood in the queue with his bloody offering. But knowing Kannappa, he doesnt care. He simply keeps walking on into the temple to be met with the corrupt Brahmin priest who doesn’t let him go any further!

Such offerings are not allowed inside the temple and this blasphemy shall not be forgiven. None the less, lets assume he still made it into the temple every day with his offering he wouldn’t be allowed beyond the ardha mandapa to even try his best to do abhishekam to the Lord. Let’s sanction even that, should he have managed to get really inside he would have been thrown behind bars if he tried giving am abhishekam of the kind he had in his mind!

And despite breaking all the rules of having given up his parents, having killed endangered animals, having stood in a line with a bloody offering and having tried breaking the bars to do his abhishekam by pouring the water from his mouth on to the sacred Linga he still manages to frequent this temple.

One fine day, while standing in the queue he notices the eyes of the Lord bleeding on the Linga. He jumps the queue, to be met by the temple guards who hold him back and he struggles to get loose and manages to run into the main shrine. He takes the trishul hoisted nearby and digs his eye out and offers it to the Lord! There are screams outside and people stare on horrified at this daring act and no one knows how to react!!

And then the second eye bleeds and he takes up the Trishul again and places his foot over the Linga. This is it!! The last of the rebellious act! The crowd pounds inside to stop him from doing this complete act of defiance. Before the people, guards, police and all can get to him Lord Shiva appears and He is blessed!

What makes Kannappa Nayanar a good man? He did everything wrong. Till the Lord sanctioned his act, he was the worst one could have seen in terms of rebellion and non conformism to social rule despite the fact that he did it in complete devotion. Did anyone notice his devotion while we watch in horror over his acts of slaughter, and defiance towards the general rule of the public! Then why do we have so much garbage in our heads? The Lord proved us all wrong! It was the right thing to do!!!

Then how do we define goodness? How do we ascertain the rules of goodness when it can be proven wrong at any time? Isnt it scary to see intense spiritualism and devotion going in exactly the opposite direction of conforming rules of social living. How do we evolve when we got ourselves into this chaotic mess of existence? Is the only point of salvation the fact that Lord Shiva appeared and blessed him?

And even then we are so low, we wouldn’t learn. What’s next! This temple will sanction all devotees to come with offering of meat and blood because this is what granted Kannappa Nayanar his immortality! Is that all we learned from this episode? We would end up killing more deer, but we would scarcely give our eyes up for the Lord.

What is the definition of devotion, or goodness or spiritualism? And how are we planning to conduct ourselves going forward when we have so much to unlearn?

Glow in the fire of eternal bliss.

There is darkness all around, stillness and nothing can be seen or heard. There is just space, void and all I can feel is the thin breath passing through my being. I am like a moth, that awaits the light that glows, to dance its last dance of love with the flames of love, to dissolve in its essence.

The fire is alive in this sweet chamber, the rocky walls have been washed clean. The fragrance of fresh wet earth covers this room and the fire dances like a million flames on the textured rocky surface. The air is so quiet, the ambiance so still and yet there is this pounding heart within me that ceases to stop its beat.

At the center of this space, is this well of potency that rises to awaken this chamber. Sweet white jasmine flowers fall, fragrance of incense cloud this small room and in this mystical world I view His presence, dressed and and adorned in sacred precious stones.

He sits here on his throne, on a seat decked with blooming jasmine flowers, so white and pure, like the very blooming bud like eyes of His divine consort. White silks adorn his stony self as the great snake protects Him with its hood.

Sacred Vivla leaves garland his being, like a majestic wreath, a crown around His head, proclaiming him the ever present, the Lord of the world, who is eternal, who never ends, who never dies. And in this ambiance, do I dance, with this single flame, that lights this room, my fire of enlightenment that teases me through this life.

The power of the being, the power of devotion, the power within one self - this strange magnetism I feel, this strange heat that rises within me, burn my heart in His presence. In this graceful dance of love, do I forget that world outside, do I forget that chaos, do I forget that dense cloud of illusion that threatens to swallow me into its world.

I am the luminous, I am that which glows on its own. I am that light, that doesn't need your knowledge to realize that I am there, ever present in this chamber. I am real, for its not your realization of my presence that gives me my life. I was always here, I am always here, I will always be here. Do you realize sweet friend, the meaning of these sacred words that make me far more real and alive and immortal than the world outside?

I burn in these flames, but I shall not perish. I am but one among these million flames, these million lights that light up this room, worshiping the Lord every day, every time, in every breath. I am no longer a perception in your mind, I am pure energy, life, fire that glows beside the Lord for you to realize that there is another world out here, far more potent and far more real than that world outside.

Recreation of the absolute truth in the virtual world

The Tripura Rahasya beautifully quotes:

72. "Just as things unseen in darkness are found on its removal by means of a lamp, and are therefore said to be recovered from oblivion."

73-74. "Just as a confused man forgets his wallet, but remembers and locates it on keeping his mind unruffled and steady, yet still says that he has gained the lost wallet, though the steadying of his mind did not produce it."

75. "So also the control of your mind is not the cause of your Self-realization; though the Self is always there, it is not recognized by you even with a controlled mind because you are not conversant with it."

*-*-*-*

The virtual world of the computer:

My life as it were, so to speak in these times is controlled by this system that holds all the records to my existence. Everything I keep, everything I do lives in this world that we call real though its actually virtual. And yet we believe in it fanatically because we see it work all the time, every day and almost so real that we barely doubt it anymore. But what if I had to delete all of it in one shot! I would simply destroy the cloud of illusion that I had build up so far. Isn’t this world the perfect example of the potency of illusion /virtual living that can be destroyed anytime and then - it simply will not exist? How powerful a thought it is to destroy my identity in one swing and then am reduced to nothing, a nobody, there is no identity left, there is no ME left.

Here is another kind of philosophy - equally intriguing!

Deleting a file in the computer:
It’s an interesting piece of philosophy to note when we contemplate on how a file is deleted from the system. When a file is removed from the recycle bin, all traces of it are lost. This doesn’t mean that the file doesn’t exist, but it simply means that the path to the file is non existent or forgotten. At this point the file continues to exist in a compressed, almost negligible form with little hope of being retrieved. Isn’t that the same state of our supreme consciousness, or the Self as we call it, which makes the file have its own identity?

The underlying pulse of the operating system which is similar to our mind is to keep all that is illusory and defined by my existence that is ME, the person and discard the subtle self which is not of any apparent importance. And therefore the discarded file feels like the consciousness that we look for but never find the pulse of our existence which we know is there but do not know the nature of. And having lost the path to it, there is little chance of us trying to trace back to this neglected aspect of ourselves.

Hard disk - Subtle component of my consciousness
And yet, there is hope to retrieve that deleted file from the hard disk, which symbolizes our consciousness. If we can access the hard disk we can access the door to awakening our mind to the real depth of existence. This leads the way to the inner workings of the self, or in this case, the inner workings of the OS. Retrieving the file from the hard disk is not an easy task. 

There are only two ways now, one is to retrieve the file with software as long as no further activity took place which in turn destroys it and the other is to reformat the hard disk. Isn’t this a metaphorical representation of taking the help of yoga practices or meditation to access the inner consciousness of the mind and reach the state of bliss? Just as software can retrieve the lost files as long as no further change took place, the body and mind can be trained to follow certain discipline to reach the inner consciousness or subtle state, when detachment towards the current existence sets in.

But in case we continued activity as usual with creating, editing and deleting files there is a greater chance of losing that file, we then just have to format the hard disk to reuse it again. It’s like rebirth, a second life, a second chance to start all over again.

To merge into the self, to retrieve the inner most pulse of the OS, is to touch what hides in the chamber of hard disk. This is the mother ship of the OS, it is the home of consciousness in the human body and to tap it is to come to realize the true potential of the human state. The operating system is just the mind; the binary is the absolute truth.

The nucleus of the operating system, the basic life breath of it is the 0 1 state, and this is the duality of life that gives rise to this great illusion. This is the pulse, the constant on which the entire system of the OS operates and therefore the world in the bargain proving to be one big illusion which can be destroyed in a simple shot.

What then is 0 or 1, the absolute truth that continues to stay even if the entire virtual universe is destroyed? How do we identify with this universe and contemplate on the raw truth of absolute 0 from which we have built the world's greatest economy... isn’t is exactly similar to the real world we live in, in flesh and blood, and yet we do not understand how the universe created us and how it works but we are willing to understand how the absolute 0 created a powerful world economy!

Why? We have now built the proof of its existence; we now need to apply this miracle to our very own self, to realize the capability of the Self within! How ironical it is that we ask for the same proof that we built to prove the presence of this illusory world we have built around us to live in! We have evolved, we have the potential to realize and yet we live like fools who do not understand the true potential of their creation!

We are like a lost scientist who started out to know the truth and got so locked and enamored with his creation that he doesn’t know the root principle that got him started on this quest - He just has one fleeting thought - What was the question?

Sacred insights from the Tripura Rahasya

Inspired by Chapters 1 & 2 of Tripura Rahasya [THE MYSTERY BEYOND THE TRINITY]

Srinivasa looked up to the presence of the Lord within the sacred shrine of his home. How beautiful He looked, how completely divine in the presence of these white jasmine flowers that garland His being. How pure does He shine in the light of this ghee lamp. Srinivasa sat back contemplating for a few minutes, his mind relaxed, his eyes glowing in rapture and his hair stood on end as if his ecstasy could not be contained within his being... he was in complete union with divinity.

It may have been just a few moments but they were profound, immersed in deep bhakti he looked up to the shrine in surrender, imbibing the complete moment of spiritual rapture he had felt within his being. He then prostrated on the floor bowing to the shrine. He had tasted the elixir of spiritualism, the sweet fruit of his worship and now he wanted to be in its presence for as long as he could. He realized the beauty of selfless worship and thirsted to practice this ancient sacred lore as much as he could. He went round and bowed to the sacred shrine hoping to relive this moment of rapture again.

Srinivasa now commenced his worship, reciting verses from the sacred texts, following every ritual prescribed and keeping every step clear in execution and yet he didn't completely understand the method itself or the meaning of the ritual worship he had been performing all these years. What had this worship have to do with the workings of the greater universe? Where does it start from and where does it end in all its grandeur? The worldly happenings seem so strangely permanent and yet they are considered not to be so. He sat back thinking, taking his own example...he remembered nothing of his childhood, he was different in his youth, and he is different in his manhood and in this way his life constantly changes. And therefore what is the result of these changes? What is the purpose of this change? It didn't make no sense to him.

The end justifies the means adopted by the seeker according to their temperaments. Are we really happy? Well then, having gained one purpose why do we look for another? Therefore is the only real purpose the accession of pleasure or the removal of pain? Therefore does the purpose drive the incentive for the effort to last. How then is a beggar any different from an emperor, he labors for happiness as much as an emperor does. Each of them having gained their purpose feels happy that they have been blessed as if they have reached the goal of their lives. And I too have been unwittingly imitating them, like a blind man who follows another. How completely stupid is this way of existence!

Srinivasa, sat in deep thought, he now wished he could cross this deep ocean of doubt with the teachings he had gathered. He now knew, his only way was to mentally surrender to the supreme. He realized his happiness lies in the constant moment of rapture that enveloped him while he worshiped the Lord. He wished this moment to be unbroken and undisturbed.

Prayers to God are selfish in the beginning, yet they not only fulfill one's desire but they also purify the mind. Devotion now grows in intensity and the seeker so desires nothing more than the presence of the Lord himself. If lucky, the Lord's grace is shown upon him in the manifestation of a Guru, who comes to his doorstep more by the play of circumstance than his very own search.

Misery is not the absence of happiness, but the limitation of it, for when happiness recedes, misery flows in. This is not the only miserable result of action, but worse than this is the fear of death which cannot be mitigated by any amount of action. How can transient mental concepts of devotion produce permanent results of higher truth? More over these practices are continuous and there seems to be no end to obligatory duties in one's life. How does one free himself from these obligations and seek real happiness, and yet great souls do so!

But when they do, they laugh at the ways of the world, they walk up the road of fearlessness with no concern at all, just like a majestic elephant refreshes itself in a pool of melted snow when the surrounding forest is on fire! They are completely happy and are free from any sense of obligation**. How does one reach this state? How does one escape from the jaws of Karma. As long as a man is afraid of his obligations, so long must he placate it or else he will not find peace. Similar is the fate of people who in the quest of happiness fall into the trap of action. One should not be in this state of distraction.

The only salvation to get out of this state is contemplation, the need to investigate and realize the purpose of one's existence. Can the sweet waters of dew ever collect in the sandy desert which are already scorched by heat? When the Goddess, Devi, is pleased with the worship of the devotee, she turns into Vichara** in him and shines as the blazing sun in the expanse of his heart.

Vichara is the only way to attain higher good. Vichara is the only weapon to fight the overpowering disease of ignorance. If vichara takes root the higher good for all practical purposes has been reached. So long as vichara doesn't take root, one's life remains barren and therefore useless. The only fruit of life is vichara.

Srinivasa thought, a man without the sense of vichara, is like a frog in the well that doesn't know anything, either of good or bad, and dies in the very same well of ignorance. If we forever continue to run away dispassionately from misery and seek the depths of pleasure, we can never escape from the cycle of birth and death just as a jack-ass pursues a she-ass even if kicked a hundred times by her.We will therefore never give up our thirst and ignorance will continue to prevail.

Srinivasa collected himself. There was only one way forward - contemplation on the self and the purpose of one's life in this sea of obligation within the darkness of ignorance.

===================================================

**Free from obligation doesn't mean that it is not performed, it is performed but with no attachment to the act or the fruits of its result. As the Gita rightfully says, we cannot escape action or inaction, but we can escape its karma by the detachment from the obligation itself.

**Vichara - Discrimination, investigation, deliberation, judgment 

The experience of Shivahood, the state of real bliss.

The inner search for the Lord in the environs that we live in is practically impossible to keep the mind in focus towards a single goal, especially when it is not shared by anyone around us.

To work and make money is a goal we can all talk about, to buy real estate and get married are topics every one is interested in, but to talk about a spiritual goal hardly has any takers for a discussion. Yet it is a fight at some point in everyone's mind to want to know what spiritualism is.

What is illusion, inner soul and the beauty of enlightenment? What do we mean when we say these words, what are we meant to experience? Going to a temple in the city and having a glimpse of the Lord is not going to get us the answer. How do we even try to remotely get to this experience?

The only answer that hits my mind to get a glimpse of this supernatural effect is a visit to Tungnath or Mount Kailasa or some such remote place. I am sure that other places can, in some form render the same result, but a difficult trek to Tungnath or Kailasa are sure hits. Why? Because when the mind decides to do this journey it has agreed that its going to be physically challenging, it does not promise a darshan in winter and therefore time of the year matters and by the time we even get a glimpse of the destination, the mind and the body have had enough but the only energy that rules is the emotion to achieve the pilgrimage.

Let’s start from the beginning, gathering information on any of these two journeys defines that the weather may not support the trip and there is room for a flop. Just viewing pictures gives a rough indication that these treks are long and pains taking and there is hardly any help in the way. The altitude gives a feeling of distance from comfort that it results in mental detachment from all materialism, all emotion, and all attachment. The very fact that the mind decided to do this trek means that the emotions and the soul are ready to have a glimpse of this superior power.

At the foothills, before we begin the actual journey, the heart is overwhelmed that we made it this far, the mind is exhausted and can’t really entertain thoughts anymore. The difficulty now is the trek. Bleak regions, strong winds, bring the raw forces of nature close to us, so close that the familiarity of civilized life is a distant memory. Here there is only one thought - the discovery and the experience of the unknown. What stands in front of us is a snow capped mountain, cold, formidable, silent and powerful. And the only pool of resources we have is the fast diminishing reserves of energy within us. Food is brought down to the basic minimum and water may be hard to find and what’s more - money cant buy us anything here. Credit cards are a piece of junk here; because the rules that work here are very different. This is the first realization of detachment. This is also the first realization of freedom. 

As we take each step, the body begins to tire but the beauty of the region is a treat to the eye. The freedom to be in a land so bleak, the achievement to have fulfilled the wish to be here to imbibe the beauty of this land is a great feeling indeed. We can simply feel free to experience the power of this earth. How do we understand this power? Scaling these heights or even attempting to do the parikrama is a tedious effort of time, physical energy that is being squeezed out of every bone in the body to move the foot to the next step. All we have is the sheer will power to achieve this goal or overcome this challenge. We can look at it either way. Tungnath certainly doesn’t give the impression of easy enlightenment, its a difficult up slope trek that makes you, breaks you, exhausts you even before you made it to half the mark and we still do not have any sight of the temple. Kailasa parvat on the other side gives you a distant glimpse of its enormity and tells you to go home but doesn’t let you come any closer. In either case there is a realm of curiosity that is teased, the need to discover is prolonged and desire to break loose from the shackles of our existence and be one with the forces of nature can be reasonably enormous. Here too there is a strong echo of the dualism of life; this journey gives us the dual experience of frustration and spiritual bliss at the same time.

Approaching Tungnath on a winter morning

Do we ever get to feel this power? When we are exhausted and look up to the great temple or the mountain peak itself, the mind is blank and there is a sense of achievement to have reached or completed the trek. The minds eye now opens up to the forbidding reality in front of us. The world is at our feet, civilization is a distant reality and all that there is now is the Mountain and me. The first glimpse up close brings no thoughts to the mind, no words to the mouth, no fears to the heart and no pain to the body. The result of feeling this power is the feeling of being small and weep, weep like a baby full of emotion, and just pour out this overwhelming feeling into a pool of tears that are probably the most beautiful pearls of enlightenment we could generate selflessly. Just weeping into a pool of overwhelming love and emotions rolling out towards the power of the unknown is the most strangely blissful moment we can hold on to. If we felt this emotion at the moment of death, I guess we would be blessed with immortality.

The whole trek becomes a selfless journey of love, a churn of the mind and the body as it works its way up the spiritual grind of churning out the self from within. This emotion that floats to the surface of oneself is described very beautifully in a verse written by Thirumular.

Lord stands as Ghee in milk

He is Mukti, Jnana and Nada
That in the three branches of knowledge resound [poetry, music and dance]
Thus they praise the Lord
Through time unending;
As the ghee within milk
The pure one within them stands
That light they seek not and love not [2115]

Just as ghee belongs to the essence of milk, it floats on the surface of the milk untouched and unmoved. It is pure and concentrated and yet it doesn’t dissolve into the depths of the milk itself. Similarly the emotion of joy and supreme bliss that is felt on getting the closest view and discovering the Lord at these sacred shrines is an extraction from the process of churning the body, mind and emotions to reveal that we possess it. Once its out it floats of the surface of the milk of our existence, of our conscious self it is there to be experienced in all its purity and when it is experienced, what results is a tear of the overwhelming emotion of love.

The Mansarovar of my mind, Kailasa of my forehead

The three eyed Lord, is a term that has often echoed in my head and left me intrigued and jolted over the presence of an invisible third eye that when open throws rays of bright light or fire that enlightens me but may destroy others!

What a thought it is to reverberate the ideas of Thirumular who immaculately describes that Lord Shiva and His consort, the graceful red hued Parvati actually reside over my forehead. What does that mean? When the book says that it is possible that the Lord makes his presence felt by taking seat atop my fore, does it reflect in a glow around me, such that a person who looks at me wants to take a second glance, such that there is purity shining through of a different kind that leaves people speechless.

Its this strange spot between my eyebrows that intrigues me the most. Strange because it is at my crown, in the highest zone of my anatomy that dictates respect, and that anything scribbled over there has symbolism, meaning and depth to its presence.

This forehead is a canvas of a different kind, for anything that is drawn on it has a meaning to be there. Lets take a few examples.

If I, being a woman, were to draw a design and color it, with small sequence hanging on to it, it would reflect my need for explicitly enhancing my beauty, fueling my ego and my vanity and inducing seduction to some degree to the opposite sex.

If I, being a man, were to paint three vertical lines to the center of my forehead, I would be designating myself to a school of thought following a single God and dictating the power of Viashnavism.

If I, being a man or woman [either unmarried or widowed] had to put 3 horizontal lines of ash across my forehead, I would be declaring my inclination to another school of thought, namely Shaivism. I would be at the same time displaying my detachment to life and my need to know the truth that is beyond my being.

If I, being a man or woman, had to put a red dot at the center of my fore, I would determine the power of the Goddess reflecting through my face to the world around me. I would define my faith in the mother goddess cult and my deep faith in her worship.

If I, being a man or a woman, didn't put anything on my forehead but the Lord inscribed strange marks on the lines of my skin, I would have crossed the line of known spiritualism and entered a zone that no one but I would know of and that would lead to my evolution into the next plane of spiritual enlightenment.

The deep lines on the skin draw a parallel with the deep crevasses that make up the character of Mount Kailasa, the three horizontal lines starkly stand out between the rock and the snow awakening the presence of a deeper truth we scarcely have a hint of. The deep cut on the forehead of the great mountain Kailasa possibly depicts in a natural way, the half opened frozen third eye of the Lord, that could widen and shine through, bathing the world with its divine rays. How magical is that world, that the mountain reflects in the silent waters of the Manasarovar lake that describes the equilibrium of my thoughts, and of my mind.

As the Lalitasahasranamam says, the Goddess Parvati is like the swan that swims in the silent waters of the Manasa lake deep within my head. Isn't the picturesque view of the Mansarovar lake with the Kailasa towering beyond a real depiction of the inner silent truth of the Lord and the Goddess residing over my forehead?

The snow laden mountain with its deep crevasses clearly shown appears like the forehead of my mind is smeared with sacred white ash that glows in the light of the sun that shines upon it. How true it is that the Lord resides at Kailasa, how true it is that the Lord has taken seat upon my forehead, how true it is that the frozen vertical eye of the great mountain represents the dormant energy that is awakening within me to shine as the source of light that enlightens me and blinds the rest of the world with its power.

The secrets of ancient Hindu spiritualism are far beyond our normal capacity to understand, but a glimpse of this truth in the imagination of one's own thoughts and ideas can be the most intoxicating state of permanent bliss. And our forehead is the silent screen that depicts the level of spiritualism we are at. What a concept!

An encounter with Lord Shiva

Adi Shankaracharya had traversed most of the Indian sub continent and visited sacred shrines along the way performing rituals and reawakening sacred life into each shrine that had paled away with time.

He was now briskly heading towards the doors of the sacred shrine of Kashi Vishwanath, Varanasi, where he was stopped by an untouchable savage who dared to break his momentum. He purposefully ushered the man to move aside but the man stood in his place and asked him a few profound question...

"Do the Sun and the moon show bias when they shine on this earth. Do they shine any lesser in the home of an untouchable as much as they shine around a man of high intellect? 

Isn't a man as good as a 4 legged animal if he studies the Vedas and still doesn't understand anything of it? 

How blind can people be if they fight among each other and still consider Lord Brahma, Vishnu and Sadashiva 3 separate entities and not part of the same potent seed of spiritual energy?"

Shankara stopped, for these were not illiterate words that came out of the untouchable who stood smiling at him, they were the sacred sayings of the Lord himself. Shankara recognized the untouchable savage and broke into a dialog with him that were later penned down into 5 divine verses of wisdom called the Manishapanchakam. Those were precious moments of spiritual history that graced this world in that time and silently blessed the people who mindlessly walked on the same street, not realizing the miracle of the moment until it was long gone.

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Hrishikesh, sacred land locked in the lap of the Himalayan foothills and washed by the pure waters of the Ganges has its own story to say. One can find faith here in the old traditional ritualistic style - controlled and disciplined - or the more sort after Bhairava approach - wild and high spirited.

The Ganges here is pure, as it cuts through the rocky hills that pave the way for this beautiful river to glide through. We were pilgrims without purpose as we walked through the bustling streets looking up shops and new age mendicants as we stroll by. The winters were setting in, and a hot cup of chai anytime was most welcome. While we admired the shimmering night light across the Ganges, we noticed a white man turned sadhu who had left his home and family back in Germany to become a Sanyasi here. He spoke perfect Hindi, with the tune of the local dialect as he explained his journey through his life and how Hrishikesh was now his home. While on one end we found it courageous and amusing, we also suspected that he probably didn't get onto the right side of the spiritual road...

And then it happened... a strange man briskly walked by and disappear into the darkness even before I could prepare to take a picture of him. He was awesome to look at, half covered in rudraksha beads and the rest covered in saffron. He had a divine "smartness" about himself with a stern purposeful gaze, as he walked by silently but aggressive at the same time. Power oozed out of him as he stared at us with a magnetic gaze before he disappeared. He held a beautiful trishul in his hand, covered in beaded malas. The trishul itself was breath taking, looking divine as it faintly glowed in the night light. It was exquisitely carved with floral patterns along its sides rolling over its graceful bends, yet it looked deadly in its aura and sacred to the Shiva loving devotee.

Within minutes he was gone, he came in like a flash, graced this earth and looked entirely different from the other lesser mendicants on the street. He was strong, silent and defiant towards anyone who intended to get into small talk with him. He walked through the crowd like a flash of lightening as the darkness covered the space between him and me and I never saw him again.

His presence captured my mind, his power shook the air and his gait was graceful yet sure footed. I felt a weird excitement within me, something that sensed "What if he was Lord Shiva himself?"

Would I have run behind and chased him till as far as he went, would I just take a picture of him and admired his persona in silence or would I bow to him and ask him to accept me as his disciple. There definitely was no room for a profound dialogue, though I was certain if he obliged we would definitely get into a spiritual monologue, or maybe I would have just been happy to sit far away from him and watch him perform in all his splendor. Shivahood gleamed in his being, even if he aped the great God, he did such a sure job of it, it was completely overpowering.

And then I wonder...how times had changed... how different do people view the world at large now. How strange it would be considered to walk up behind the man and accept fate leaving every thing behind, because that moment defined the profound miracle of potent spiritualism. To leave the safer beaten track and accepting the lesser known way of life as my own. To treat the familiar world as passerby in this dense cloud of maya and consider the Potent Lord as my own. To completely detach from this world and its various demands and feel the freedom of non attachment as my own...

To finally see the Lord himself... wherever... and hold my little personal dialog of love, intrigue and mysticism as I swim in the adrenalin of divine science... Ah! What a completely different life it would be!