The Painful Three Days in the Month

Those three days in the month are all it takes to mark the difference of a woman's life from a man's. Its not an innocent 3 days that are done with and over, it comes with a host of issues that are morally disheartening to women, discriminating them through the ages and the sole reason for men to feel apparently superior. They have defined the restrictions of a woman's life and no matter how open we are in what ever era, when it comes to spiritualism we always seem to lose the battle...somethings just never change. Very few managed to stand up but we don't get to see a Mahadevi Akka or a Karaikkal Ammaiyar or a Mira Bai that easily anymore these days. What's really happening with woman power? And I of course went on my hunt trying to understand why there is such a level of discrimination and I stumbled upon the sacred scriptures and decided to roll my mind over them.

This was like opening a can of worms. Initial shock soon converted to anger which precipitated into a deep sense of need to understand what is in it for women. Hindu scriptures are predominantly addressed to men and they reduce women to either commodity or a different lesser species on this planet or that evil seductress who is going to ruin aspiring spiritual men. That was really the limit. Now I understand where male chauvinism stems from. Something is desperately wrong in the interpretation.

And so it became my journey to seek that truth, for I was certainly not in agreement with the resulting interpretation of the scriptures. Every scripture I picked (which isn't too many), but predominantly Vaishnavaite and the Vedas and Upanishads, for some reasons appear to be a rule book to men and very sparingly address women. Seriously, why wouldn't the male ego grow... though they don't do anything earth shattering when it comes to self-enlightenment!

It has bothered me forever now why women cannot go anywhere near the earthly form of the Supreme during those three days of the month. This further extends to the rules that having being born as women we are denied a lot of other spiritual perks that men are granted. Women never went to the Veda Patashala, they don't perform homams, they are not allowed into the sanctum even after they have crossed menopause for example... we are so restricted to home administration, procreation and being the symbol of pleasure to a man's desire. How fair is that?

It’s strange that I can hand pick less than 10 women who made it to Sainthood through known history. Were we suppressed so much that we couldn't ever rise, or were we brainwashed that such fate doesn't exist or did we never have the will to try hard enough?

My entire love for the Shiva cult and that of Devi rose from the basic realization that there is no such barrier for women in this realm. I have hardly come across a restriction, and much to my surprise I came to learn that women are considered superior and are worshiped, not suppressed. So who is misguiding us?

At some point, I decided no earthly Guru was pure enough, humble enough and wise enough to help me grow in my spiritual path without considering my gender. (I don’t mean to offend anyone, but I have an aversion towards self-made mortal Gurus – just doesn’t work for me). Hence this became a lonely journey of experiment, and I soon came to realize with the grace of the Divine Goddess what those three days really mean.

The reason why women have been suppressed and restricted over these past centuries is because in our world, spiritualism and child birth are opposite ends of the spectrum. If we move towards child birth, we have to give up spiritualism for that period of time. If we move towards spiritualism, we are likely to menopause sooner reducing our chances of child birth. Now imagine if we went down that lane, it would lead to the doom of humanity! And so the great wise men kept us a little away from it, though they granted us the miracle to deliver new life. And the mortal world made us believe that we are not "complete" without child birth. And we got locked down with a very well defined role - our sole purpose of existence turns out to be home administration and of course being the vehicle of reproduction. Is there really no more to this, is it really so blinding?

There is a far more potent reason as well as to why we are discouraged from venturing too far into spiritual activities. Have you ever wondered why some of our bodies break down when we go to powerful Shaiva or Devi shrines? Why do older women post menopause on a Kailash Yatra come back with a period? Why do women who go near Bhairava Shrines break down into period? Why are women not allowed to recite the Gayatri Mantra? Given our lack of training into deep spiritualism, our bodies are not accustomed to the powerful energies at these shrines. Had we been able to do regular intensive puja for a long duration, we would be able to handle the potent powers at these locations. But since we don’t, we are not able to handle it and the result is out of turn periods.

But here is the bright side. If we are regular with puja, if we recite sacred mantras and tune our minds and bodies, we are capable of enduring these powers because we have built up our physical reserves to withstand it, we are energized. And then if we come in contact with powerful shrines, there is a greater likelihood that the body doesn't break down into a period. While we succeed spiritually, and our body is evolving and energized we are likely to menopause sooner than expected.

But there is a silver lining to every cloud. Enjoy child birth, enjoy samsara, but along the way (sooner than 40 years) start the move into spiritualism once you have decided that you are not into child birth anymore. You can move into deep spiritualism. This is not about getting permission from the men, this is about seeking the divine for yourself. Once we have completed our earthly duties of procreation we are free to travel into the world of spiritualism and NO MAN can stop us then. From there divine grace will take us forward.

Our tryst with faith is in our hands. It’s in our hand to choose whether we want to hang in there and dedicate our whole lives to mortality or whether we want to consider the existence of the atman within us that wants to go home to the Supreme Mother. The choice is ours, the effort required is a lot more (since we lost time in child birth) and the results are amazingly fruitful. We need to realize that we can do it, we need to realize that our purpose is way more than what is taught to us, and we are more capable of handling our spiritual journeys because we DONT get seduced half as easily.

Bottom line: The scriptures are addressed to men because they just are the weaker ones in the head, be it in the unwavering persistence of principles which should not be twisted to convenience or be it the clear focus of purpose that they need to have. They need more attention and the scriptures are meant for those with less focus. I believe we crossed that bridge already.

At Home With Kamakshi Amman - Atithi Devo Bhava

I walked up to her home deep within the temple walls through the crowds of people gathering there. I was oblivious to the noise, of the chattering people, of the fuming priests who believed they owned her home more than she did. I was oblivious to the swelling savagery of uncouth human behavior as people were herded in and out of the temple. And ironically I was looking for my peace here, within this din somewhere. 

I wondered as I saw the mass of people sticking close like ants in a line, falling over each other trying to get a glimpse of her divine form. They converged at the door of the shrine like ants attack a half dead prey, trying to get their share of the divine rays of grace that emitted from the chamber within. And the Brahmin priest cracked his caustic verbal whip as he shooed the crowds away. 

I felt sad for these people, they were desperate for love, they were frustrated with their lives and that’s probably what brought them to her doorstep. But how would they seek her grace when they didn’t realize that all she asked in return was undivided love and faith from them through the passage of silence which was too much to give. Was just a glimpse of the divine mother enough before they went back to their hell holes?

I was certain I didn’t want to be part of this. I was certain I wanted to keep my mind on her form; I was excited deep down waiting for my glimpse as I had wade past the priests to get my turn. This ambiance was a cauldron of swelling emotions, of herded people asking for more, of priests who treated them with utmost disrespect. But I wondered...didn’t they really ask for it? How else were they supposed to control a seething crowd that just wouldn’t listen, just wouldn't move and wanted that extra moment with the Goddess? 

I waited my time till I was called, silent and calm for the one thing I didn’t want was a priest or a security guard yelling at me. I was here to meet her, not them, and I had to seek their permission to enter her home but when I approached the Mother with love, the whole ambiance transformed. 

She called me in, picked me from the noisy crowd and gave me a seat in front of her as the priest gestured me about. We sat face to face, our eyes met, she smiled at me and I melted in my love unable to hold my emotions for long. My heart yelled out, “Take me mother, when will you come to take me...how much longer do I wait?” The priest broke the conversation asking me to give my offerings, and I held out all that I had. I was jostling between two worlds, that of the din around me and this beautiful conversation we were having in silence.

The flames flickered wild as they lit up her dim room, wet in water as she prepared for her bath. She was bare, her pure self-unveiled for me to get a glimpse as she smiled back at me. I was treated like a guest; she was gentle and kind oozing love and beauty as I felt the energies envelop me. I let my emotions flow as my hands shook, closing my eyes for a few seconds as I felt my body energized with her presence. I said nothing, I thought nothing, I felt everything I could and I let my pent up emotions flow. It was a river of love, between her and me. I gave whatever I could, I gave my being, I gave my heart, I gave my thoughts, I gave my love... I gave everything that was humanly possible to give. And she took it all with grace. No priest came between us then, no Maya knocked back at me. I was in her silent world for a short while. 

It was time to leave, I had a desire to see them bathe her and she granted me that wish and more. What was supposed to have otherwise ended as a darshan, continued as she gave me a pomegranate tossed into my hand by the priest. She gave me a seat far away from the maddening crowd to sit and worship her. High on a platform, far from the herd, in isolation and silence... I watched her being bathed. I witnessed her many forms as the priest took the divine light around her.

Four forms remained etched in my mind, the first was her in her pure bare state being readied for her bath, the second was when she was ash clad and the whiteness pronounced her features, the third was when milk and curd rolled down her being pronouncing her curved body and the fourth was when she was dressed like a bride. Each form depicted a different facet of herself - stark consciousness, freedom from attachment, vibrant purity, divine love.

She filled my eyes with her form, she filled my heart with her love, she filled my mind with silence, she filled my consciousness with her beeja mantra and I filled her with my pent up emotions. We merged in silence, in divine embrace...maybe that is what I call grace. 

I was called back into the chamber, she asked for me again and I was only too glad to see her up close. She is life size, real and enigmatic. I presented her my gift for her to touch with her grace and I quietly wore it round my neck, her grace enveloping my heart like an armour of love. She blessed me with abundant kumkum that reddened my hands, and I realized one truth then. 

Tara Ma and Kamakshi Amman were one and the same form. They both treated me to abhishekam, she allowed me to bathe her ughra form, while I witnessed her soumya roopam getting bathed. She colored my hands in alta red when I touched her ughra form and in kumkum when I felt her soumya presence. She hugged me close in her ughra form and spoke to me in silence in her soumya form. She energized me as I shook emotionally almost breaking into tears in both forms. She gave me two hours in Tarapith, she gave me two hours in Kanchipuram. She made the priests call me in; she made them treat me with respect. She made both the priests at Tarapith and at Kanchipuram give me their visiting cards and an open invitation to come back any time, she opened the gates to unlimited access into her divine home. 

She sent me back into samsara fulfilled with love, she sent me back to the world, blessed. It was a fantastic year with the Goddess. 

I truly felt Atithi Devo Bhava. 

  

Through The Grace of Kamakshi Amman

Yesterday I was blessed with another year of life, another year of living within this human prison, and I felt there may just be more purpose to my existence. The yearning was back, the calling grew stronger and for some reason I had the strong urge to go to Kanchipuram to seek the divine Mother. 

I get crazy spiritual ideas, that may not make sense to anyone but they are paramount to me and I follow them more than any other rule ever written. I had the deep urge to wear rudraksha constantly, and sure enough quality thoughts flowed in during puja. It’s a time when I get instruction, it’s when I read every thought as divine grace, and it’s when I am conscious of which thoughts to kill and which ones to keep. During puja, I wait without expectation, without much wishing and seek the next steps as they pour in from the divine world into my little mind. And I just take what’s given, no arguments for the ego is dead at that moment. 

The calling was loud, the thought persisted and the steps unfolded in my mind. I was not very far from the day I was born years ago, and I had to do things really fast. I was advised to take the rudraksha that I had worshiped with the Lord for the past several years and string them into a strong chain. There was a need for haste and I rushed over to the jewelers shop with my little precious rudrakshas to get them strung. I was thankful they arrived well ahead of time. They were consecrated at the feet of Tara Ma and stayed there for three days being worshiped.

Finally the night arrived, and though I planned to get sleep early, I could barely catch a wink, it was the first time, and I had spent the week mustering up my courage and fears to hit the road to Kanchipuram on the highway alone, and now the time had come. Up fresh at 3:00am and ready to go, I hit the road at 4:00am. The night sky was gloomy, the winds were strong and the rain had wet the roads. I had to be careful with my speed and through the highway with occasional vehicles around me, it was a crazy drive into the darkness. It was amazing for not a thought of fear ever struck me on the road. I felt free, free of bondage, free of humankind, free of karma, free of everything... I was driving into oblivion and enjoying every moment of it. 

As I neared kanchipuram, I realized I might just make it in time for the Abhishkam of the great Mother. How lucky would I be! Armed with a gorgeous Saree, a garland of lotus flowers and some Archana offerings, I confidently walked in towards the sanctum. The crowds were huge and on this auspicious day of Chitra Pournami, I was just glad I was born on this day. I reached behind the main sanctum and placed my request to the security guard. While he couldn't promise me anything, he allowed me through to have an up-close darshan of the Mother. Seated in front of her, absorbing her divine presence, every anxiety to want to see her just flew off the mind. She was there, in front of me, in my heart and for now... my mind went blank. I shook in my seat, observing every bit of her form, her graceful body as she sat on her seat, getting ready for her bath. The shastris took the garland and the saree, while I held on to the silver chain that held my precious rudrakshas with me. I handed it over to the main priest, who was in silence right through the entire operation. He worked with gestures and the security guard deftly unfolded their meaning. (Reminded me of Karz for a brief moment, except that he didn't tap on a glass)

The rudrakshas lay on the Mother's lap absorbing all her divine grace while my heart worked hard to fill itself with love for the Mother, and my eyes worked even harder etching her form into my mind and I sat still for as long as I could, not disturbing any of the functions underway. In a short while, the head priest came back, returning the rudrakshas to me and having learned the strict aachaaram being followed I raised my hands but carefully didn't meet the eyes of the priest. He threw a pomegranate at me in typical Brahmin style, and I scrambled over the floor trying to catch it. (clearly I don’t play cricket yet with my kid) 

I rose up, thinking this was the end for I wasn't permitted to continue sitting there to watch the abhishekam. He gestured me to see the other forms of the Goddess on the other side of the inner sanctum wall. This was a blissful moment intellectually for I learned of Varahi, Annapurni, Lakshmi, Mahishasuramardhini, Bhairava and a lot of other Goddesses who sat within the niches of this great shrine. Clearly during the Chola time, this temple was not as large as it is today, it was way smaller. The Vijayanagar Kings had added the other prakaras to this temple over a period of centuries and now they had merged so well into each other... the difference could hardly be seen. But this is a tantrik strong hold, and I love every bit of this shrine. Adi Shankara had got it so perfectly right. 

I was ushered out of the chamber, and sent back to the guard. I was happy though I looked at him with a stray hope to get a glimpse of the abhishekam. He pointed me to another guard who took me to a seat directly in front of the mother, on a higher platform outside the sanctum. I was excited, I didn't ask for this, from here it was a bonus. I sat through the entire abhishekam, reciting Mrityunjaya swaying with the flow of the Mother being bathed inside the shrine. Every version of her looked gorgeous and Adi Shankarcharya was not exaggerating when he wrote the lines describing her form. They described her so well, I am tempted to go back again and read the Soundarya Lahari and map it to the etching in my mind.

She is straight backed, voluptuous, and slim. She follows the tenets of the making of a beautiful woman, she was the personification of that form. The curtains were drawn and the crowds went silent. I will never get enough of her, I knew that for sure. They drew the curtains again and this time she was ready, all her alankaram in place, she just looked every bit a bride, every bit a lover, every bit a damsel, every bit the great Mother, every bit ... 

We were asked to get up to leave, the security guard sent me back to the earlier one and I was ready to pay what every he wanted. I was just so thrilled. I stood at the back of the sanctum, as I watched the head priest gesture in his silence, frantically asking for me to come in. I quietly walked in, not knowing what to expect. I was quickly palmed off to another priest who I figured was his brother. He asked me about myself, my where about and placed a vcard into my hand. I was confused but took it anyway. He told me to mail him and render any help that I could towards their website. 

I was sent back into the sanctum, this time made to sit in front of the Mother again, and the whole thing played out once more, I saw her up close, this beautiful bride, this celestial being from heaven, this great Mother of Love. I quickly handed over the rudrakshas back to the priest and requested him to place it over the Sri Chakra. It was the only pending item in my divine list of activities. I was sent back to varahi and after bowing to all the Goddess around me, I returned back to the Great Mother. The chain was handed over, and the priest spoke with a lot of respect, considering he had been shouting at all the other folk, I was very lucky. As I turned to leave, the head priest broke his silence... all he said was "Call me when you get home". 

I nodded and walked out without paying anyone anything. The purity of Brahmin culture was visible for a few seconds thanks to the divine grace of the Mother, as I paid the security guard handsomely for his effort. I was fulfilled with the experience, fulfilled with the calling, fulfilled with the strong belief that the Divine Mother indeed communicates with me in her strange way. I walked out on to the streets of Kanchi, free from bondage, free from attachment, free into the world of divine love as the warm sun blessed me with its light. I felt I was finally home, and more than anything else, I felt deep down that Tara Ma had reappeared in the form of Kamakshi Amman. Divine grace had touched me again and I couldn't have asked for a better gift on my birthday.

The Mysterious One Who Protects Me

I met him finally, the mysterious one and as I inched closer I realized I was getting to know him even more... this bizarre side of him was completely a discovery. I have known him for a while as the pleasant one, as a great loyalist if you got on his good side, as a great lover if we understood where his deep love was headed, but with a temper that could burn a city down in his wrath.

He glows in orange when he is happy, when his mind is deep in divine love, when he displays his dasya bhava. But this time... he just looks very different. 

He was furious over how evil could challenge fate when he realized Mahiravana had abducted his one and only saviour and strung a web of powerful black magic spells around him. He turned dark in anger, his form paled into a deep black and he grew himself into the five headed fierce one each face flaring within its forehead an open third eye of fire. Yes, the five headed one, with fifteen fiery eyes was now on the hunt for the villain who challenged him. With the protruding teeth of a black monkey in sheer anger he faced east looking for his prey.

He shined in the brilliance of a million suns, looking south giving a wild roar of anger, shaking the earth with his force. The fearless one, the lion within glows in black as the great Narasimha looking south assuring those who loved him well, that he is there to protect them. Such anger stems from deep love, and such deep love gives intense capability to devour any evil, subdue any force and nullify the poisons of any enemy, be it deadly snakes or be it mad ghosts. He takes the form of the brilliant Garuda who will nail all evil at the tip of his sharp beak, and reduce them to insignificance as he looks west towards the setting sun.

He hunts like he has never hunted before, in all the worlds for his Master, his saviour. He appears black like the midnight sky, going into the underworld with the vigour of a fierce boar, trashing ghosts, lions, and any form of disease along the way. He displays such force, such intensity, such aggression, such anger as he digs down into the earth stopping at nothing. He rises up high into the sky like a triumphant horse destroying all evil, in the brilliance of gyana into the white sky in the form of Hayagriva as he destroys his enemy. 

He is merciful even when he is angry, the fierce one with ten hands, holding the power of jyana and protecting us all. He carries on himself the trident, the sword, the rope, the goad, the mountain, the tree and the water pot in his hands as he bestows love and blessings on lesser mortals. He is the black one, mysterious indeed, fragrant and dressed in divine garlands and seated on a corpse, defying death. 

He is the mysterious one, the five faced Anjaneya, dispelling all fears with his vishwarupa as he sniffs out all evil from all the worlds. I breathe in deeply, absorbing his form, absorbing his energy praying to the great form of Hanuman.

I offer my prayers to the son of Anjana through the thumb for he resides in my heart. 
I offer my prayers to the great Rudra through the fore finger for he resides in the fire of enlightenment, in its blue flames. 
I offer my prayers to the son of the wind God through the middle finger, Om Vashat 
I offer my prayers to the Lord who has Om Hoom, the armour for the fire within him through the fourth finger, 
I offer my prayers to the great Messenger of Rama through the little finger
And to the five faced great Lord I offer my prayers through my palm, Om Phat for the arrows of the five faced hanuman.  

Om asya Sri Pancha Hanuman maha manthrasya
Sri Ramachandra Rishi
Anushtup Chanda
Pancha Mukha veera Hanuman devatha
Hanumanithi bheejam 
Vayu puthra ithi shakthi
Anjani sutha ithi keelakam
Sri Rama dhootha hanumath prasada sidhyarthejape viniyoga. 
Ithi rishyadhika vinyaseth.

Om Anjani suthaya angushtabhyam nama
Om Rudhra murthaye Tharjaneebhyam nama
Om Vayu puthraya madhyamabhyam nama
Om Agni garbhaya Anamikabhyam nama
Om Rama Dhoothaya kanishtikabhyam nama
Om Pancha mukha hanumath kara thala kara prushtabhyam nama
Ithi Kara nyasa

Om Anjani suthaya hrudayaya nama
Om Rudhra murthaye Sirase Swaha
Om Vayu puthraya shikhaya vashat
Om Agni Garbhaya kavachaya hoom
Om Rama dhoothathaya nethraya Voushat
Om Pancha mukha hanumathe asthraya phat
Om Pancha mukha Hanumathe swaha
Ithi Hrudhayadhi nyasa

Reference: Pancha Mukha Anjaneya kavacham

AIB Roaster - Pray what is Indian Culture?

Culture - Nice word, but I am losing touch with the meaning. In the Indian context, Culture is a difficult word to define given its religious and secular undertone. 

AIB says: 

"There’s a larger cultural conversation going on here, where we’re at the very edges of what it’s okay to say. And it’s a conversation we need to have now because the world we live in is entirely too complicated to be run by silences. We still stand by our belief in the right to absolute freedom of expression for us and for anyone who has anything to say about anything at all. We hope to be part of an environment that supports that sort of expression without fear of persecution, intimidation and most importantly, annoyance. As always, in our own AIB way we’ll continue to strive towards creating that very environment."

Seriously... in this age and time, AIB, do you really think you are making any sense? You sound short sighted and immature. It’s an ideal world you are looking for living in the perfect HELL. Get real.

The reason why AIB got roasted is because their humor and use of forbidden vulgar language was not behind closed doors, but it was being endorsed by celebrities who thought it was cool. Young blood, I understand their view point. But in a country where women get raped every few minutes and men continue to be chauvinists, how much of responsibility is the influential youth showing to the impressionable public? Ladies, please, you are encouraging the men... and that is not good. It’s not cool...

I didn’t get educated into this vulgarity until recently. If women were to speak this language it is also a freedom of expression, but AIB, would you appreciate it if they did say that to you with a straight face, meaning every word? You would abuse them in return, especially if you were driving on the road. 

In my world culture is way bigger than the freedom of expression alone, it is the freedom to be allowed to learn and understand and realize what true living is all about and live life based on that school of thought. It’s a different story that freedom of expression is being curbed more by political forces, don’t ask me why, but that is a misplaced ideology on culture. AIB, I think you are being a little short sighted. 

AIB Roaster was sad humor, a bunch of very expensive dirty jokes. The only shade of good humor was on Alia, which was clean and really funny. Am glad the girl took it well. But we shouldn't mix "I dare" with "its funny". Challenge is one thing and good humor is another. 

I am already aware of a deep generation gap between the kids on stage of AIB roaster and me, but would I like my son to use the same language publicly as a laugh... No, and would my son ever dare to do it in front of me - No. I didn’t bring him up that way you see and it’s not our culture to be disrespectful to the elders. Hence this language is best left within boys hostels and guy groups because we can’t really stop it, but we don't want to hear it. 

Culture in the west is defined by a certain decorum of possible pleasantness, politeness, friendliness and compassion to the next individual. It baffles me that we didn’t think of aping that part of their culture, we took all the garbage! 

Culture in the Indian context used to be the same thing, what I was taught is that it is a part of my faith because we define that by Dharma and Sampradaya - The law of good living and the discipline associated with it. What AIB showcased is cacophony in my rhythmic existence. We come from a past where even a curse uttered had an effect and speech was considered extremely sacred, hence it was used sparingly. 

We now live in an era, where the tongue wags and all that comes out is utter garbage and there is a crowd that loves to hear it. People are being applauded for the filth, when what they actually did was abuse people with the worst words possible. You know the Romans used to enjoy while gladiators killed people, it was entertainment. How different are you from them, except that you killed culture instead of people. But that is the culture that is going to go forward, your kids will learn it and that is not the culture we grew up with.  

So everybody, hold on for a minute. There is chaos all around, and the din is getting louder. Don’t waste this form of energy by exercising your vocal chords in the wrong direction. Every sound you emit, has an impact on you, the more you shout dirt, the worse it gets for you. Hold your voice. You will realize that silence is far more useful and healthy and when you speak, its way more powerful. 

Language is a beautiful thing and if used appropriately it can be complete music to the ears. I am not even venturing into the supernatural world of sound associated with beeja mantras and its amazing benefits, because that science is dead in this era. All am saying is, there is poetry in speech, why would you give it up for filth? Why are we degenerating from the power of sound to absolute crass noise? Does the youth of today even know the quality of ancient living they are currently missing because they believe its superstition or outdated? 

Silence is golden, look for gold, not garbage. Oh Lord, Bless our Youth.

As the Viveka-Cuda-Mani - The Crest Jewel of Wisdom by the great Shankara goes...

dur-labham trayam ev'aitad dev'anugraha-hetukam

manusyatvam mumuksutvam maha-purusa-samsrayah. 

These three things are hard to achieve, and are attained only by the grace of God - human nature, the desire for liberation, and finding refuge with a great sage. 

And therefore...use your nature well.

brahm'ananda-ras'anubhuti-kalitaih purtaih susitair yutaih

yusmad vak-kalasoj jhitaih sruti-sukhair vaky'amrtaih secaya

samtaptam bhava-tapa-dava-dahana-jval'abhir enam prabho

dhanyaste bhava-diksana-ksana-gateh patri-krtah svikrtah.

Pour upon me your sweet words, imbued with the taste of God's bliss. They spring from your lips as if poured out of a jug, and are pleasing to the ear. For I am tormented by samsara's afflictions, like the flames of a forest fire, Lord. Blessed are those who receive even a passing glance from your eyes. 

To My Fellow Countrymen

It hurts me to see this unrest, it hurts me to feel the pain and fear of insecurity that every man carries in his/her heart today. It hurts me to see people take rebellious steps when they feel their faith is being threatened. It hurts me to see us having such a myopic view of our spiritual future as compare to the intolerance brewing around this beautiful countryside. How did we end up here and why are we doing this to each other? This is the land of Dharma, of Ahimsa. 

To the VHP and RSS  

I am completely disappointed with you and given your discipline, your behavior is very unbecoming of you. I think you got it wrong, completely wrong. Whether it is about "Ghar vapsi" which I as a Hindu think is a really sick thing to do, or whether it is giving advice on having 4 kids or whether its about rebuilding the Ram temple... I think you seriously got it all wrong and you are not helping us or Prime Minister Mr.Narendra Modi who is crying himself hoarse to get you to focus on development.

The Hindu faith doesn't work by head count, it works by the potent power of bhakti of ONE potential head. If you tried to read the Bhagavat Gita and understand its meaning, you will know clearly that you are so not in sync with your Dharma. Making it a national book achieves nothing!! 

If you want to show Hindu mettle, then please do it with the heart(compassion) and do it with non violence, both of which you sadly lack. It doesn't matter how many people get converted to Christianity or how many Muslims are born in this country but if you have ONE able person who is spiritually uplifted and driven by spiritual protocol(and not a self styled Guru) to the likes of Ramakrishna or Ramana Maharishi, then a million other faiths will not match up. 

The power of Hinduism is in its Bhakti, its in the essence of divine scriptures both of which you have neither understood nor realized. So who are you really, to set the moral code of Hindu standards and teach the rest of us? If you knew even a morsel of what our great scriptures held you wouldnt even react this way. You would forgive rather than show the might of political power. 

Hit the problem at the root, not in the number of conversions. But for that you need to be educated in the spiritual spectrum to even understand where you are missing the point. Your insecurity comes from the deep fear that you dont understand your faith, and with the passing of time you are only losing it further. Your people are losing faith too and what you are stuck with are a dozen dos and don'ts but there is no reason why they are given that way. And people are bound to ask questions and when they dont get the answer, they are bound to move on... or convert. 

Blind faith rules all the faiths of today, be it the others or our very own Hinduism. Everyone is getting worried with your high handedness, including me because what you showcase is NOT WHAT HINDUISM REALLY IS, I beg to differ. Why dont we try something new. People are in desperate need to know the truth, but they are no where near capable to deal with it when it really shows up on the face. And that includes you too. So why are you barking up the wrong tree and fighting a non existent battle? 

How much have we progressed in History? We are supposed to evolve and not dive back into an archaic world of fears. Where is the maturity to be compassionate and tolerant. Isnt that what Lord Krishna taught in the Bhagavat Gita? If you really want to dive back into the archaic past and seek value out of it, then do it this way. Understand the core behind our rituals and our holy scriptures, realize it and live it, and dont worry about whether the next man got it right or whether he changed faith out of frustration. 

Bottom line - There are more sacred texts beyond the Bhagavat Gita, I hope you know that. I would be seriously disappointed if you didnt.You have no business to think that you are the keeper of the faith. And second, rule by Love and not by Fear so please grow up.  

ceto-darpana-marjanam bhava-mahadavagni-nirvapanam

sreyah kairava-candrikavitaranam vidyavadhujivanam

anandambudhi-vardhanam pratipadam purnamrtasvadanam

sarvatma-snapanam param vijayate sri-krsna-sankirtanam

Glory to the Sri Krsna sankirtana, which cleanses the heart of all the dust accumulated for years and extinguishes the fire of conditional life, of repeated birth and death. This sankirtana movement is the prime benediction for humanity at large because it spreads the rays of the benediction moon. It is the life of all transcendental knowledge. It increases the ocean of transcendental bliss, and it enables us to fully taste the nectar for which we are always anxious.

 - Sri Krsna Caitanya Mahaprabhu

PK - Faith and our identity on this planet.

And the repercussions of Faith as our identity on this planet

A French artist paid with his life, an Indian director got paid 200 crores. 

The various faces of religion are indeed interesting to see in terms of the way it has shaped us up through history. Our outlook has changed and we have moved away from the core concepts of schools of thought to just numbers in terms of followers to self proclaimed Gurus.

Satire is a humorous way of bringing reality to the fore, but most people really don't want to know it. That's the sad side of being human, specially in these times. An artist drew out Prophet Muhammad and he paid for it dearly with his life, why, because someone else couldn't tolerate the apparent blasphemy. Meanwhile back home, a director cracked a joke on the primordial truth, a concept way beyond our realm of understanding and we all laughed. Believe me I felt very sorry about the director's ignorance towards his faith and ours because we laughed rather than feel ashamed about it. 

We are a very emotional race and we identify our existence with our faith but if the same faith is not completely understood where are we headed? Chaos rules when anything spoken against our Gods is not taken to kindly though we realize that we are not in a position to explain why we believe our Gods exist. But here is the thing, if the director tried to go against any other faith apart from Hinduism, he would probably have met a similar fate in the future at some point. People don't forget when you hurt them you know. But with Hinduism, it shows two things about us, our tolerance and our ignorance. Whether its good or bad is debatable, but we live in an age where being Hindu in Hindustan is fast becoming a curse. 

A group figured out that it was wrong, and they chose to vandalize theaters, its definitely better than taking the gun and killing someone. The unfortunate thing is the group doesn't quite know what was wrong with the movie but for the fact that it did hurt sentiment. One argument is that its just a movie, see it and forget it. But another argument is that it made 200 crores which means many people may completely agree with it. If that is true, we are so doomed. 

Everything was right about PK, everything was beautifully stitched together but it clearly depicted the director's ignorance about why things are done they way they are specially in ritual. Oh MY God and PK both claim that milk should not be poured over the Shiva linga but fed to the poor. While am not against the thought of feeding the poor, I will explain why milk is necessary to pour over deities, not only Lord Shiva's emblem. 

Have you seen fairness cream commercials that shout out the presence of milk as an ingredient. Milk is important for it has the magical essence that can deliver a living thing to immortality. Anything/anyone bathed in milk regularly has a greater chance of survival in addition to remaining youthful. Similarly, at temples which are the super power centers of our deities made of specific stone and installed with prana pratishta, need to be consistently bathed in milk to keep the energies active and running, thus delivering these temples as living temples. And we visit temples to reach these sacred shrines and be graced by the power that surrounds them. That is the essential purpose of our temple visits. Alternatively we can also enshrine them at home and build our own little power centers at home. The concept works like fire, whether you light one lamp or several lamps, the first flame is as bright as the last frame lit. Similarly whether we have power centers at temples or in our homes, we are accumulating drops of supreme power around us to enhance our living environment. And milk is the essential ingredient to keep the power center active and therefore the giver of milk, the cow is a sacred animal. We DONT kill it or eat it. Ideally the milk should drain out to the river or the sea and should not go down the gutter. But it is not meant for consumption after use for it is empowered and the physical body will not withstand its energies. 

But who is going to explain this to us? At the same time it doesn't mean its a wasted ritual!

Unfortunately, we don't realize these truths and as we sink deeper into ignorance, we tend to laugh and pay 200 crores rather than cry and feel pathetic about ourselves. 

But there was on fantastic portrayal in the movie that made me really appreciate the director. The depiction of seeking God desperately and the sadness of failure because of our own inadequacy probably touches our hearts the closest for we all at some point have come face to face with this frustration. That emotion was true, honest and completely humble. 

We need to persist in our faith, we need to seek the truth and we need to give room in our minds to accept ritual for this discipline has an impact and it will show the way surely if we are true seekers without doubt and ready to surrender to the Lord. 

Adventures of a Spiritual Vagabond

It was a regular day, seated at my seat with my wavering mind trying hard to come back to ground zero where my great Guru smiled through the walls of His photograph. Fate had not been to kind and my jumping mind needed some really serious answers to solve its problems and it was not going to rest till the solution percolated through the pores of my thoughts. It had been quite a few sessions of aggressive worship yielding no tangible results. 

"Go to Tarapith"

The thought struck me like a bolt from heaven. It was strong enough to vanquish all the other thoughts that played havoc within my poor mind. "Really?" I thought, "Now that’s a good idea but will it work?" My mind raged on as the worship for the day came to a close. Would it ever be possible? It wasn’t too long that I realized fate aligning with the divine words and I found myself heading down the highway to the small town of Tarapith, a week later against all odds. It was just unbelievable, this was for Real and something was bound to happen. But what... let’s keep an open mind. Anything can happen, and I have been instructed to go so nothing negative can really happen. With deep excitement and a tinge of doubt, the events unfolded almost orchestrated by the Lord Himself. 

"Come to me, Bathe Me"

I found myself within the sacred chamber early in the morning staring straight at the inner shrine. We took our places in front of the Goddess and looked at the priest waiting for him to perform his part. But little did I know that there was a change of plan. The priest ushered me closer to the Goddess and handed over the oils and rose water to me beckoning me to go ahead and perform the sacred rite of bathing her. I took to it like a fish to water, feeling the moment of being the temple priest [a job I would have loved to have], as I caringly washed her and anointed her. I almost heard Her call out telling me to bathe Her earthly form. What a divine role that was and how I completely enjoyed being the priest for those few minutes. My hands trembled as I touched Her form, my mind went blank and my words failed as I stammered through my sacred verses. He gave me all the time I wanted, as I gently wiped her clean and covered Her in a saree we had brought for Her and stared Her straight in the eye, thanking Her for this phenomenal experience. 

"Come to me, hug me"

The priests soon took over and continued the rituals while the crowd look on occasionally shouting her name "Joy Tara Ma" and I joined them with enthusiasm proclaiming her glories to the world. I was overwhelmed and I shook just staring at her form. After the rituals were through, the priests ushered out everybody from the tiny garbha griha within which she rested. We were told to stay back and when the crowd was cleared he told me to get closer to her again. This time I was not clear on what was coming next. He emptied a box of sindhur into my bright red hands and directed me to smear it over her third eye. It was the culmination of a divine experience as I placed my humble palm over her divine forehead and touched it. I shook in my knees as he pushed me to her, telling me to hug her tight. And what a lovely hug that was as I held her close to me with the only sound that came out of my mouth "Tara Ma" as I sank myself into her lap. 

"Visit my son in the cremation ground"

I walked out of the temple with my family, reeling out of the experience. Something had happened in there, something for real and something for good. I had transformed and Ma Tara had called me over to bless me and hug me tight to reassure me that all was really well. My mind was amazingly silent, no thought dared to even make its presence felt. I blankly asked my folks if they would like to come along to the cremation ground and I met very reluctant faces. It didn’t matter, I walked back alone to the temple and down to the cremation ground as I asked for directions. Bare feet over dusty earth, I probably was walking over some poor soul's bones that lay buried in the earth of the shamshan. The fresh air of the morning made it look green while the sacred pyres lay silent. 

"Am in your heart, always"

Bama Khepa rested in his Samadhi, and I walked up close to it. A couple of people charged at me asking for dakshina, but went silent in just as much as the same speed. I sat with him for a good while, reciting the sacred Mrityunjaya and then I circumambulated his shrine, bowing at all the four directions before I came to stand in front of him. Tears rolled down my eyes and I thanked him and the divine Mother for granting me this opportunity. Tara Ma had taken her seat in my heart, and it felt warm in there. My earthy problems looked small, like stray thoughts in the mind, like unwanted noise and it was so easy to throw them away. I was home, and my mother hugged me close. I had nothing else to fear. I looked at the cremation ground and it felt as much at home as any place else. I loved it there and I felt at peace. Ma Tara was with me and her warmth continues to keep the flame in my heart burning. 

I came back home, to the south of India, calm, complete, quiet. What an adventure that was! 

Tara Ma, Her beauty - unbeatable, Her grace - unmissable, Her presence - rejuvenating, Her brilliance - all embracing, Her home - Tarapith

Joy Ma Tara!!

To My Great Guru, I Pray.

It has taken me a long time to realize just how much I have not understood your presence in my life. I have come to a point where I feel hopeless and insignificant, where I realize you had come to touch my heart twice before and I failed to catch those moments. And now I try again, to reach out to you in desperation, in shame, and with all humility. I have come to detest the very nature of the limitations within the realm of being born human and at the same time I look for any sign, any hope that can make me rise up to you again. 

Getting to be your disciple has been a blessing, its not achievable to many and I had the luck. I have seen you just once from a distance, when I was a little girl giggling around not realizing the moment I was going to miss. It was when you departed that I seriously felt, I wanted to just come away with you. I lost that moment then but you reappeared again in my life, this time with greater trust, with greater love, with greater teaching. You initiated me, and I learned, I fumbled but I believe with all my inadequacies and flippant attitude, you gave me a precious gift and I kept it close to myself. 

The time has come again and the echo for your divine grace grows within my heart. Time is running out and as I live, every passing breath just yells at me echoing how wasteful I have been. I have immersed myself into reading about great saints, about the divine grace that they have been blessed with and the more I sink into that world the more I realize just how far fetched it is to reach from where I am. And yet, this miserable self will try, try as much as I can, to make myself ready for you to reappear and shower your grace upon me. 

There is so much to say and yet words fail me. Am I ever capable of getting there, I dont know, but the hunger grows. I have begun to question my existence, my purpose, my being with respect to spiritual capability. I realize deep down how difficult it is to tread your path but do I have a chance? You taught me to have faith in you and yet I fear you. You taught me discipline and yet am flippant. You taught me humility and I felt I owned you. You taught me dignity but I can feel my worhtlessness grow. You taught me to surrender but I held on to my ego. 

Am back, a hopeless mortal, at your door step requesting you for another chance to teach me again, to shape my path of realization. I find no pleasure in other mortals, I find no pleasure in material gain. I am fast losing interest in the pleasures of life, I just seek your divine grace. I know there is still time, time for me to give up this lifestyle. But meanwhile is there a chance that I may be blessed with your grace again. 

To my Great Guru, I pray. 

When Lord Jagannathan Entered My Life

I am not completely aware of Krishna consciousness, and neither have I spent too much time trying to understand Vaishnavism. Maybe its time to start. Krishna made his intriguing presence felt when I started to learn more about Kali and Tantra. Thanks to my son's die hard concentration and irresistible attraction to Little Krishna, Lord Jagannatha grew on me subconsciously while I sat through repeated serials of the Divine boy on television. I found myself falling for that child, for that little village of Brindavan and all his companions, Balarama, Madhu and Subhala. With my son's new found emotions gripped by these imaginary beings who ruled his head day in and day out, I came to realize subconsciously that they were as real to me as they were to him. 

The Lord sends his messages in strange ways and in each way, I found myself sinking into a pool of deep emotion of Love, call it Bhakti, call it what ever you like. An email fell into my mailbox, with a picture of Krishna/Kali and a question - Guess who this is? With that started my next hunt, what is the Krishna association with Kali. J C Joshi's innumerable comments came flashing back to me. His whole volume of belief left behind as pearls of wisdom with the comments of my various blogs echoed back in my head well after his physical body turned history. Who really is Jagannatha?

I penned my last paragraph of a book I plan to publish sometime in the near future and realized that I, who assumed herself to be a great follower of Shiva and Shakti, had given a lot of attention to Jagannatha unconsciously in my story. I sat back to think of all the temples I had visited, it was Tirupati that had overwhelmed me the most and make me weep profusely, every time without fail. The atmosphere, the energy, the silence inside the sanctum, and his form left me in a pool full of tears. The last visit of taking my son there had proved fatal in this divine love affair. But somehow, the form that stuck in my head as the divine Krishna is Jagannatha. From that little child I would love to cuddle to the divine lover, Krishna conquers my mind in every form. 

And then he played his divine trick again in a dream, and the Ras Lila enveloped my thoughts, divine love in the eyes of the "knower" can make the emotional doer do a lot of things. A line from Sri M's book echoed in my head, when it comes to Jagannatha, we take the form  of the divine lover, that's the only state of consciousness one can reach. And in the dream he came, as a singer of divine song, as the one who plays sweet notes in his flute. A face so gentle, so handsome and yet distant beckoning me to come forward and touch him, experience him. The intoxicating sounds of his beeja mantra echoed inside my head, his searching eyes oozed the emotion of warmth, the emotion of longing, the emotion that beckoned me to just accept everything he wanted, thoughtlessly, helplessly, completely emotionally. 

I stood on the floor, in our world, my thoughts caught in his web as the beeja mantra echoed on, I could feel the weakness in my knees. I could barely hold myself for a surge of energy just headed upwards towards my heart, towards my head and I felt myself swoon in sheer bliss as I felt my consciousness fade from the real world. I clung on crying out for help - Om Namo Bhagavate Vasudevaya - O Vasudeva, O Shankara! Hold me, for I am unable to hold myself. 

I realized how difficult it was for me to come back to the real world that minute. 

The Paradox in Nirvikalpa Samadhi

Everyone wants to reach the state of perfection, of course perfection at the moment continues to be a relative term and in the nuances of human behavior there is a very thin line separating one level of perfection from the other. 

The sacred doctrines describe the ultimate state of consciousness, the state of Nirvikalpa Samadhi as the perfect state. This state describes the merging of the self with Atman such that there is no individual self left. With heightened bhakti and complete love for the supreme this state is very possible to achieve as proven by a few men who have walked the earth. 

But what is this state, how do we describe a person who has achieved it. The most popularly understood approach to reach this state is when the Bhakta doesn't connect with the world around them any more, be it in mind or in body. From the social perspective, they have traveled so far into themselves that the world outside, the maya as we may call it, hardly matters to them any more. From the physical sustenance perspective, the physical body becomes so perfect that its mortal desires are either addressed internally by the body or killed purely by the evolution of the being. 

Lets take the case of self sustenance, it is the ability of the physical body to secrete Amrit within the head region and taste it frequently thus killing any external desire or dependency on food and water. And any other desire be it of the body or mind automatically dies, because the energies have been successfully channelized towards the single source of all bliss - realization of the Atman. 

And so we toil and toil hard, to reach that level of perfection, may be if not in this life we take the next and the next to get it right. We often resort to resignation than try to realize whether this path is ever possible. And with every chance we take, divinity shows the passage in rather strange ways to keep us continuously believing that we are getting there. 

But no one really told us what the rule book holds when we achieve it, the perfect state. We would almost love to be immortal. live for as long as we wished and enjoyed the fruits of living with the associated powers to get us health, wealth and happiness. But did we ever know that when a person really reaches this state, they no longer crave for that human body within which they live! The very body that we have been trying to "perfect" for all these years, centuries and lives is now something we want to or more importantly need to discard in order to move to the next level of highest spiritual endeavor. 

How contradictory this turns out to be that we struggled so much on something we ultimately choose to discard. It is the liberation from the ultimate maya, this human state that we need to achieve and Nirvikalpa Samadhi is that unreachable state that we need to get to. The human state is that last physical thing that we have to give up before we move it to the realm of the supreme. 

The thought still blows my mind! What are the great Gods really trying to teach us!

Sacred Map to the Secret Door of Heaven

Ganesha, Devi, Shiva, Vishnu, Brahma... we believe in them deeply, our lives are dotted with their repeated presence and we have grown up listening to stories about them and we have been taught that if we need help they are the ones who will give it abundantly. But do they really exist?

A faith so old and a population so vast have little to show for their real existence. Unlike Christianity and Islam which take their principles of faith from prophets and saints who once walked the earth and laid their philosophies for the world to follow, Hinduism has been backed by strange experiences of individuals who sang in praise of these divine beings who gave an audience to a lucky few. Our faith doesn’t make Gods out of saints but tries to look at the Gods in totality through the eyes of our great saints. And weirdly so, they nearly had the same experience. Whether it was Kalidasa or Shivaji or Ramakrishna or some wayside aghori or tantric, the explanation of Ma Kali's form has been rather consistent. Even more strange is that even the ancient Egyptians may have had a sneak peek of her divine form and called it Anubis the Jackal in their eagerness rather than wait it out through the experience to realize that its a Goddess they were looking for. 

All said and done, no matter how much we praise Science, given its shade bit easier to comprehend, we cannot write away ancient mythology that so richly describe these beings with super human strength from another realm who have invaded our hearts for generations and left us surrendering willfully to their divine needs with some hope of a blessing towards a more comfortable life which is off course very relative. 

So, do they really exist... I strongly believe they do and our ancients and even the artists today in their own shabby way have tried to maintain and represent their iconography as closely as possible. We have various treatise that describe in depth, not just their nature imbibed in various names associated with them but also the way they look and the way they behave and their skillful capabilities that is beyond human nature of what you and i possess. And yet they have been strongly depicted in near human forms, though they don’t carry the name "manusha" against them. They go more along the lines of "Deva".

There is a beautiful line on Lord Shiva... a description of him in his bija mantra:

Divyaya devaya digambaraya Shiva. 
The divine celestial who is white and pure, such is the beauty of Lord Shiva himself.  

Agreed... but where do we look? Clearly Lord Shiva doesn’t belong to this perceptive world of ours where what I envision is completely different from what you read as the workings of this universe. And yet, in this maze of illusion and clashing perceptions that make up our lives and entangle us so deep that we cant clear our heads of these cobwebs of stale thoughts of "rightful existence", there were still a handful of people who got lucky and described strange beings of divine beauty very consistently with no difference in anyone's perception. And from that they penned down their divine visions in words which took life in form and color and today we have these divine being turning into a breathing reality in our Puja rooms and in our temples. 

Clearly there is truth in it. When the Gods said "I am the divine truth" they meant that they exist beyond this perceptive world of ours. Its another story that we blame them for dumping us in it with no accountability that the pathetic way we lead our lives right now doesn’t call for any greater experience...but that is not the point. 

The point is we have established through our great saints that they didn’t proclaim themselves as Gods but tried to tell us about who the Gods really are and how we can reach out to them. But they didn’t give it easy... they set us a riddle. A deep thought provoking riddle. The riddle is to find the door that leads to that zone or world which lies beyond this earthly world of illusion. Our only hint is the pancha bhootas or the five elements that are integral to our worship of these great Gods. 

And so, let’s collect them all and see what we get. We worship the five elements through a complex set of activity which involves the offering of light, sound, water, fruit and flower. Fruit symbolizes earth while flower symbolizes wind [vayu]. Light symbolizes fire, water is clear and sound symbolizes ether. But this is not about symbolism as much as it is about the "real truth" embedded in the puja. 

Where does fire go when the flame dies? Where does sound go when it can’t be heard any more? Where does light go when we can’t see it anymore? Where does the human soul go when it leaves the dead body behind? They disappear and transcend into another realm but they don’t die. They may reappear in another form in another place but they don't die. What is that zone where they cheat us off our senses? Is that the gateway to the other world where our divine beings reside, silent and vigilant watching us searching around blind folded with no idea? 

It just increases the mystery of Hinduism tenfold, and it’s really our business to dig deep and read into the individual experiences of each of these great saints to understand who they experienced and what they felt. In their vision lies the key to that invisible door way where all these elements disappear, the secret map to which is given in our sacred pujas, our great rituals of worship that we take such pride in turning down as superstition. If we have Bhakti, we will find that secret door really fast... but if we consider the Gods as wish fulfilling trees, there is little chance of finding the invisible door to heaven anytime soon.

In The Presence Of Kamakshi Amman.

It was a bright Saturday morning and the crowd had begun to gather at the Kamakshi Amman temple, Kanchipuram. We waited patiently for our turn while I inquired about the best darshan possible. Once the negotiations were done we were moved to another queue behind the sacred shrine. 

Our turn soon came and we walked through the door that led to Her shrine. It was a good darshan for about fifteen minutes and we got a close(I should say very close) view of the Goddess. My mind just went blank, my thoughts ceased and I stared at Her, at Her shrine, at the peetham that cradled the Sri Chakra. I stared at it all and my eyes took in everything that my consciousness would allow. There was silence in my mind, no thought even dared to float by and none of the audience around me spoke. I appreciated the brilliance that silence can produce inside a packed garbha griha, oil lamps lit up Her beautiful face. There was peace between her brow, like She knew all and she had finally called me to visit her. It was the very same sacred spot from where the great Shankaracharya had given up His earthly existence. It was beyond time, the curtain of Maya hung thick between them and us, a curtain so heavy that it is not easy to remove. 

And then the spell broke, in the din a group of people were being moved out and the next batch had been readied. It was high on business as the priests ushered all of us out of the tiny room with no respect for the elderly folk. These were the blessed attendants of the Goddess and I would do anything to get their job, to be with Her and worship Her, like the great Shankaracharya did. It baffled me that this power center that I could see so clearly given its supreme effect on me, was completely lost on them. 

Here were two stark worlds, inter-spaced by noise and silence, by a thick invisible curtain of illusion that reflected the moment, when the brutal whip of Maya came striking down on us. How unfortunate we are that we carry the curse around our necks and dont want to let go towards that freedom, which is just a step away. The noise killed my ears, the people were as good as sheep being chased around by a group of ignorant shepherds who for some reason believed that they were the keepers of the faith. 

But I noticed one thing. Strangely, I had changed. I smiled at the Brahmin priest and thanked him for helping us get this darshan and he smiled back in acknowledgment. I felt no anger, no sorrow, no resignation towards the sad fate of Hindy temples, I felt at peace with myself as I carried Her smile in my mind. I was her temple and she had taken residence in my heart, in my mind, and transformed me. No brahmin priest belonged here, it was my temple and I was Her soul keeper. 

To the Goddess of love, who has taken residence in my heart, who has shown promise to raise this curtain of illusion, I am silent to the world but I carry your image, your smile, your love in my heart every day. 

What a brilliant Darshan that was! 

The Mystical Lord of Obstacles - Ganesha

Over time we have made Ganesha look like such a domestic, homely God who is ever pleased with our little to no prayer. We believe he removes obstacles from our path and grants us boons and prosperity. In kaliyuga terms this would amount to a very happy Ganesha living in the middle of civilized society and granting us all our greed for materialism. And to add to the glamour he shows up everywhere, in a high degree of abstraction and schematic art, yet he is expected to perform his duties of bestowing us with what we call - boons and reward. 

Let’s step back a bit and read again, who is the real Ganesha... and we do have a few surprizes. The Ganesha Namavali throws some awesome insights into the nature of this mysterious Lord. 

Om Ganeshvaraya Namaha
Ganesha's name comes from the term Gana or Bhootagana, meaning he is an attendant of Lord Shiva and he is the leader of all the Ganas, Ganadhipati. Their primary place of residence is the cremation ground, the home of all Ganas, Bhootaganas, ghosts, spirits and ghouls apart from Mount Kailasa. 

Om Vighnarajaya Namaha
He is the ruler of obstacles i.e. he can create them as well as destroy them. He is known to be the great remover of obstacles, those which fall in our path of spiritual understanding. He helps us get closer to our spiritual state, which in other words means, he helps us get far away from our material greed. 

Om Avyayaya Namaha
He is the unchanging, the unshakable, the inexhaustible one. He is associated with the earth and to please him is to move mountains. 

Om Dakshaya Namaha, Om Gunatitaya Namaha
He is the skillful one, the talented and the expert. He can solve every problem as well as create the best obstacles. In him lies the essence of perfection. He transcends all great qualities. 

Om Agnigarbhachide Namaha
He is the one who holds fire within himself. This is almost the picture of the molten fires within the deep belly of the earth. 

Om Vanipradaya Namaha, Om Vagishaya Namaha
He is the bestower of good speech, sweet voice to the seeker. He is the Lord of good speech, the controller of words. It makes so much sense for most of our future is governed by the words we use in our present. If we are kind in our words and respectful there is little chance of facing trouble in the future. He automatically kills that obstacle. 

Om Sarvasiddhipradaya Namaha
He is the bestower of all powers, Ashtasiddhi Vinayaka as he is more warmly known. He is the greatest Sidha himself also known as Svayamsiddhaya - Om Svayamsiddhaya Namaha

Om Bhaktavighnavinasanaya Namaha
He removes obstacles from the path of his devotees, obstacles from the path of those who are deep in devotion towards worship.

Om Chaturaya Namaha, Om Buddhipriyaya Namaha
He is the intelligent one, the ingenious one who is worshipped by all the sages. 

Om Grahapataye Namaha
He is the Lord of the planets; he is greater than the mortals, the grahas, the rishis, a true worshipper of Lord Shiva. If we worship him with devotion, then the planets will be at bay, he will indeed remove the obstacles from our path towards spiritualism. 

Om Vitabhayaya Namaha
He is the great one who has surpassed fear; he has conquered fear for a great Shiva bhakta knows no such thing. He lives in Kailasa as much as he lives in the cremation ground. He has conquered death for he is the greatest Sidha himself. 

He is a brahmachari with great self control who has conquered all temptations and knows no fear. He lives in the open and he is a perfectionist, the divine voice of Lord Shiva, his own son. He is the wise one, the intelligent one who controls our destiny. 

Om Pramatta daityabhayadaya Namaha
He is feared by those men who greed for power and intoxication. In another explanation it says he is feared by Asuras. So it makes me wonder whether manushas are beginning to take up Asura like qualities in our age... Kaliyuga?

Om Nagarajayajnopavitavate Namaha
He is the great one who wears a cobra as a sacred thread! 

Om Mayine Namaha
He is the source of illusory power, or he who has an illusory form. It appears more like he is the controller of this great Maya we live in, he sets the rules and he grants us boons that will help us get out of this illusion towards a more pure, clean spiritual path. 

Ganesha just makes way so much sense now... a lot more sense than just a destroyer of obstacles on our path. He guides us in our spiritual quest towards a higher realm. 

Om Vinayakaya Namaha, Om Gam Ganapataye Namaha
 

Conquest of the Astha Siddhis

It has been cooking for a while in the mind and I am taking my time to connect the dots. Spiritualism is great fun when it comes with puzzles that make the grey cells work harder. I have had the general idea that the offering of aarti, dhoop and naivedya are connected to the conquest of the great Siddhis, a thought that once popped up in my mind may be after reading about it somewhere but the truth of it is that it refuses to go. 

A small puzzle fell into my path when I chanced upon a book that was a biography of the Mahaperivar of Sringeri, who sows the seeds of this quest in his composition of the Pancopacara Puja. In his prayer, he offers fire, water, sandal wood, flowers, and incense to the supreme in the form of the five great elements. This sounds like regular puja, but for some reason I didnt feel like stopping at it. 

Each offering is initiated by a sacred syllable followed by the object of offering towards the supreme power as it manifests in nature. At the same time each syllable in isolation didn’t make any sense until it struck me that the puja essentially starts with Lam - which is the bija mantra of Muladhara Chakra. And there started the next quest. Each syllable personifies the chakras within our being through which the Kundalini rises. 

It soon became clear that the passage to conquer the elements of nature was through the process of offering with the recitation of the divine syllables with bhakti. I cannot explain this but for some reason it made sense that the conquest of the elements was linked to the conquest of the siddhis as a result of the rise of the Kundalini within oneself. And why is that? Let’s take each siddhis and study it. 

Anima: The power to reduce to the size of an atom
Mahima: The power to expand to an infinitely large size
Garima: The power to be infinitely heavy
Laghima: The power to be almost weightless
Prapti: The power to have unrestricted access to any place
Prakamya: The power to realize what one desires
Istva: The power to conquer
Vastva: The power to subjugate all.

If we look at each of these attributes, the 5 great elements of water, space, earth, fire, and air have exactly these qualities - one or more if not all. Could this be the sacred spell that the great Shankaracharyas tried to tell the masses towards spiritual growth? 

Further to this is the other form of worship which is the Panchayatana puja, popularized by the Shankaras where an aspirant could worship all the 5 sacred Gods within a framework, they being Ganesha - representing the water element, Vishnu - representing the space element, Siva - representing the earth element, Devi - representing the fire element and Surya - representing the air element. 

The great Shankaracharyas tried to convey to the lesser mortals a far greater truth that can only be realized by the experience of puja - panchayatana or pancopacara puja, with devotion and love. How amazing is this truth that with the help of a sacred act of ritual worship we can offer certain offerings of divine acceptance to access certain chakras within ourselves and render us capable of realizing the great elements that at some point we will be able to move/live/experience them when we have attained the capability of the great siddhis that allow us to move from one element to the other with ease, in short conquering them. 

Does the performance of the sacred ritual of puja with deep devotion enable us to conquer these elements and therefore enable us to move up the spiritual ladder... it’s a good thought to think about. The discovery of this thought is baffling and will keep me excited for a good time to come but I wonder about the "how". Will I ever get the success of seeing it work on myself in this lifetime... no idea.