Path to Shivahood in the Thirumanthiram

Every seeker wishes to know the way and wants every delusion cleared. Yet there is frustration and lack of knowledge on how one should even proceed in this path. It raises the deep question on why am I born human?

What is the meaning of being human?

The beauty of Thirumular's explanation is that it removes the veil of Maya straight away by presenting this concept to us. Being human is a state, its not me or you, but a state that we have taken on in this birth. This quite simply answers the question - Who am I. Aham Brahmaasmi - That I am/That thou art.

I am not human as much as I am consciousness in this form of a human in this period of time, in this kaal. I breathe because I have taken birth and in this birth my purpose is to raise myself to not just the state of a sidhha or a deva but to raise myself to the state of Shivahood. Is it possible, it is and Thirumular explains how.

Many people center their spiritual progress to offering 5 to 10 mins of puja, offering Archanai at a temple, and/or following few steps to do a parigaram to ward off immediate troubled forces created by planets and yet they wish for wealth, prosperity and progeny. Thirumular attributes all this to the path of Kriya where, though it is beneficial it also accumulates karma. We cannot consider our spiritualism as complete by any of these methods.

Thirumular further goes to explain that the nature of the supreme atman cannot be discovered or experienced by the senses hence it is vain on our part to hope to achieve salvation through our senses. Just as it is in the nature of the sun to rise in the east, one cannot wish it to rise from the west, similarly it is in the nature of the divine to be realized through contemplation and jnana and not just through momentary archanai/puja or action.

The higher form of worship is in the mansion of the mind, our mind, that which only we can control.

Offer oblations in love
Light lamps golden,
Spread incense of fragrant wood
And lighted camphor in directions all
Forget your worldly worries, and meditate
You shall attain rapturous mukti true

Worship is in the consciousness of the mind, where oblations are offered with love, lamp lights appear golden and the fragrance of incense spreads around the Lord. Burn camphor in all the four directions and forget all your worldly worries for a while, this time is for just meditate on the Lord. It is a state of bliss and peace that is achieved over time with practice. Ritual helps us do this with discipline and as one rises in their spiritual curve this turns into a conscious activity in the mind, rhythmic and simple as one tunes in their mind to spend some silent moments with the self.

The beauty of this practice is explained in another passage:

Even when other men's wives approach them
They touch them not
They have mastered passions all
Their mind is preoccupied perpetually
With offer of oblation diverse
They worship prostrating low
Constantly chanting mantra
Thus in the mansion of the mind they abide.

In the realistic world today seduction is an art not just known to women but men as well and these temptations can come from any where, to both genders included. Excluding the chauvinism in the verse that is very male centric, the essence applies to all. When the mind is so deep in the thought of Lord Shiva, in the conscious state it dwells on him in worship, and all passions are mastered and controlled. The mind doesn't waver, and the oncoming temptation doesn't affect it leaving the bhakta far from falling prey to seduction.

Thirumular quotes:

They know not to reach him by jnana divine,
They seek him by ways of senses, in vain
If within you constantly seek him in the right way
You shall indeed be in nadanta

As one rises up the charts of evolved spiritualism, kriya path gives way to that of jnana. Contemplation takes over action.

Bhaktas, yogis and jnanis do not take to kriya path but instead move into jnana and reach the state of Nadanta.

Yourself himself becoming
And himself yourself becoming
And with two none
And as one Shiva becoming
When thus it is,
Those who went the way of kriya
If they take to jnana
They with Shiva one become
They who seek kriya
May but devas be

There is so much inner beauty in this passage. By being in dhyana and contemplating regularly one can attain Shivahood. By mere practice of ritual in momentary intervals one can best hope to reach the state of being Deva. If the mind dwells entirely on Shiva, it entertains no other thought and life's problems appear like states of living without any attachment.

Problems are accepted situations and conscious mind time is spent in single point concentration leaving the mind passionate of Lord Shiva thus elevating the soul to a constant state of Shivahood.
In this state OM rises from under the navel, VA rises from the throat stretched, NA has its seat in forehead and bindu and nada are still placed higher. Nectar or amrit flows from the 7th centre, the bright light of jnana glows at the 8th chakra, in the 11th chakra lies the supreme and beyond it is the void described as the dwadasanta space.

In this world that we live in, in this stressful world that we belong to, time, contemplation, passion and persistence are the possible characteristics that can lead us closer to salvation.

* Dwadasanta is the mystical place 12 units above on the head counting from the region of the third eye between the brow. Each unit is an angula, measuring 1 division on the finger.
Courtesy: Excerpts from the Thirumanthiram written by Sage Thirumular.

Shakti Peetha, Chamundeshwari - Chamundi Hill, Mysore

Chamundi Hill, read the board as the car took the right to ascend the hill that overlooks the little town of Mysore. Civilization has since grown and is slowly replacing old world charm with new. As the car turns through hair pin bends, the mind looks over the landscape in anticipation of the Goddess, who has since resided here, ever since the previous yuga when Shakti destroyed herself and her hair fell here on this sacred ground.

My mind lingers over the twists and turns in my life that made me come and visit the Goddess Chamundeshwari again. She brings an aura along with herself, that of shakti, of silence, of a slight uneasiness that over powers the mind. There is a mixed emotion to want to realize what great powers are preserved here which have now crystallized into a small temple for Chamundeshwari devi.


As we approach the entrance, I look at the steps leading up into a smaller entrance. Silver covers the doors, and transforms this whole ambiance into a totally different world. Goddesses of all kinds descend down onto the doors and bless the visiting Bhaktas, this is a theatrical moment as one walks in and the cool air breezing through the walls wakes us up to a heavenly world of beautiful Goddesses echoing the realm of Shakti Peetha. This Shakti peetha echoes of ancient cult practices, of vermilion kumkum smeared across the Goddess forehead and that of the fresh offering lying in waiting - that of an animal, of man, of me.

I closed my eyes and thought deep, I feel I have been here as I descended towards the balipeetha. The power of the Goddess beckons, and I swoon to its tune placing my head over the Balipeetha in complete surrender. Inscribed with the Goddess's feet in the center, this broad stone has felt the knife edge and has been bathed in blood, my blood. Blood flowed loose here, with human sacrifices that might sound chilling but when I place my head here, it doesn't feel wrong anymore! I am here to sacrifice myself, this life, this breath at the feet of the Goddess. What better death can I wish for as I lay my head here for the Goddess to severe and hold in her hand, as my blood flow down as an offering in her cup that she holds in her left hand. My mind I place here for her to control, to take as I merge into her!

As darkness took over I lay here, long ago, my head resting on this sacred stone at this small temple, the walls echoed with mantra bathing my being. As the fire in every oil lamp lit up this little temple, the Goddess residing at its center, descended to my side. Chamunda, in her original wild and untamed form came close and gently towards me, emaciated and present as the consort to Bhairava now sat close by and looks at me with loving eyes. As I lay across this Balipeetha I turned in to look at the Goddess within, the same Chamunda Devi put on a very tamed and warm exterior, decked in flowers and jewelery.

Among the bellowing flames that rise, the Goddess is invoked in sacred syllables that bring her power alive. As the holy water is sprinkled over me and my forehead is anointed with holy vermilion, I breathe slowly listening to the sacred words go by.

Lankayam Shankari devi, Kamakshi Kanchika pure|
Pradyumne Shrinkhala devi, Chamunda Krouncha pattane||

Invoking the Shaktis, Goddess Shankari Devi in Lanka, Kamakshi in Kanchipuram, Goddess Shrinkhala in Pradyumna and Chamunda Devi in Chamundi Hill...

The mind sinks into itself, the water trickles down my spine purifying me the sacrificial offering, and the oil lamps light up my face as the incense forms a gentle cloud of dancing celestial world around me. As I look up to the Mother dressed in a garland of skulls, the sweet notes of a conversation pierce the silence of the night.

Sanaischara Uvacha|

Bhagawan deva devesa krupaya thwam jagat prabho|
vamsakhya kavacham broohi mahyam sishyaya|
they anagha yasya prabhavath devesa Vamso vrudhir jayathe||

Oh God, Oh God of Gods, Oh Lord of the universe, please be kind and reveal that Armour to this faultless disciple of yours, which deals about family and by the power of which, the family will grow.

Soorya Uvacha|

Kantam rakshathu Chamunda hrudayam rakshathachiva|
Eesani cha bhujou raksheth kukshim nabhim cha kalika||

Let my neck be protected by Chamunda Devi
Let my heart be protected be her consort Bhairava Shiva
Let my arms be protected by Isana
Let my belly and navel be protected by Kalika Mata

I look up as the mantras rise, I stare up to the axe that waits, I look up to the Mother who holds me covered in vermilion, fearsome to all but warm and pleasant to me, a beautiful garland of skulls she wears, a garland of which I shall soon be a part. Oh Mother of Parasurama, Oh divine form of Kali, Oh divine daughter of the sage Mathanga, Oh Shambhavi divine consort of Lord Shiva, I give up my life to you, I offer my blood to you, I offer my breath to you. I merge into you.

With the rising tempo that echoes among these walls, this theatrical world creates this illusion as I pass from this world to the next. The shining tip of the axe lets loose and the Mother awakens my soul, as it rises up from this sacred stone, this sacred bed of mine, this balipeetha.

This Balipeetha stands here today, silent and cold. It was once my bed, it was once wet with my blood, on it long ago lay my corpse, on this stony bed my life was an offering. Am here I stand, wondering why, wondering what, wondering how.

Related topics:
A night with Nava Shakti - Chamunda
Chaunsath Yogini temple
The killing of Mahishasura on Vijayadasami
Ekapada Shiva - The one legged Shiva

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Flickr.com: Sundari

Mount Kailasa, Divine Paradise on Earth

One of the greatest known in the Bhakti movement and better known as a follower of Vaishnavism was Chaitanya Mahaprabhu who composed the Shivashtakam. An excerpt is given below:

Namo namasthe tridaseshwaraya
Bhoothadhinathaya mridaya nithyam|
Ganga tharangothida bala Chandra
Choodaya Gauri nayanothsavaya ||

Salutations and salutations to him,
Who is the Lord of the thirty gods,
Who is the Lord of all beings,
Who is perpetually gracious,
From whose head the waves of Ganga are born,
Who wears the crescent of moon
And who is the feast to the eyes of Gauri,

Sutaptha chamikara Chandra neela
Padma pravalambudha kanti vasthrai|
Sa nrutya rangetha vara pradhaya
Kaivalya nadhaya vrusha dwajaya ||

Salutations and salutations to Him,
Who is like the moon resembling the molten gold,
Who wears dress of the colour of blue lotus and rich cloud,
Who gives boons while he is dancing,
Who is the Lord of salvation,
And who has a bull in his flag.

His imagery of Lord Shiva as Kailasanatha who sports the moon on His head, from whom the Ganges flows and who is dressed in the color of a blue lotus and rich cloud brings alive the beauty of Mount Kailasa.

Mount Kailasa, the abode of Lord Shiva, is paradise on earth where the mridangam of Nandikeshwara can be heard around the rocky boulders. Its a cold snow capped world in ice that sings in praise of Kailashanatha, where Ravana meditated and chose to take this very Kailasa back to his country. This is that rocky and icy cold terrain that Karraikkal Ammaiyar chose to climb, with her hands, such devotion is unmatched!

With the strong chilling winds eating into the skin, and the harsh terrain testing our endurance while we attempt the parikrama of this great Peak with limited energy reserves, all theories of the Linga representing a phallic symbol depicting the great God quickly fade away into the books.



In this bleak climate, trekking through boulders and glaciers there is little room for stories. The first sight of Kailasa, built up on anticipation can bring emotions so strong that all else just fails to ring a bell. This IS paradise, land where the earthly winds bring in the song of the Gandharvas, land where stones reverberate echoing the sound of the mridangam, land where the clear night sky and the cloudy cloak on the Great Kailasa just stops the heart from beating. This is paradise, this is beauty, this is sublime.

The pure waters of the Manasarovar reveal just how untouched this land is, how clear and pure this land is, far away from human existence. Sweet water, shimmering drops of sunlight and rhythmic sounds embedded in every ripple give a glimpse of what the heavenly world is up ahead. Reflecting in these crystal clear waters far in the horizon stand the great Kailasa.

The holy dip in the sacred waters of the Manasarovar purify the mind and the thoughts, for now the peak of Kailasa doesnt feel any more like a mountain at all. No, this appears now like the very forehead of the Lord, the horizontal rocky contours form the patterns of lines on the forehead, and the snow capped sides appears like the three lines of white ash that cover the Linga's Shiva bhaga. The deep crevasse running vertically down its center looks far more than just a geographical coincidence. As the pure waters of the Manasarover trickle down my face that vertical split down the center of the mountain appears more like the half opened third eye of Lord Shiva himself.

In this earthly world that is, as the sun rises and falls, as the winds sing in my ears, I now stand small in front this great phenomenon. The three eyed Lord sits on an icy throne, in deep meditation as the snow laden earth hides this power of his third eye that lies dormant, unnoticed by all.

There are no words to express the workings of the supernatural world, there are no theories to prove, there is only time to realize how wasteful we have been with this consciousness called life, the only sign of which is in the air I breath as my heart pounds awaiting this phenomenon to descend on me.

Stark among low mountains, this imposing wall of heaven rises high in front of me. Robed in silken clouds the Lord silently meditates. The earth is pure, this air is pure and these waters are pure and as I freeze, my emotions well up in the form of tears and I wonder, is this the great Peak of Kailasa that resides deep in every temple sanctum scattered around the Indian country side?

As we scale across the terrain taking this path for three days, crossing every ridge on the way numbering 5, I am left to belief, this is Shiva himself, this is the beeja mantra, this is Panchakshara, this is Na Ma Shi Va Ya, oh this is the Lord of dance, of victory, of conquest over sin, of endurance, of peace, of music, of life, of breath, of emotions, I feel Him in every beat, i feel Him in every pulsating nerve, I feel Him in the chill, I feel Him wake my emotions, I feel Him in the silence of my mind.



My heart beats faster, I am so small in front of this majestic imposing peak and i have no thoughts left in my head, I have no feelings left for the world, I have no worry that awaits me in time, I am nothing but a speck of nature, created to witness this greater consciousness that flows down in the form of a pure stream of melting icy water.

Oh Lord Shiva, this mind is numb, its swoons to your presence, it wants to break the shackles of its limits, it feels the presence of you as I collapse over these stones on which I stand. My consciousness fades, as I stare up to your being, the great peak that pierces the night sky, so clear with stars as the moon glows, almost resting on your side. This is what I lived for, this is what I missed all these years, this is all i am capable of, as my vision is covered with heavy tears of overwhelming love. I dont want to go back, I dont want to leave, I dont want to move any more... I wish to lie here and witness your beauty in every breath.

O Lord hold me close, take me with you, grant me a vision of your sublime self, just once for me in this earthly dwelling of mine. Guide me into your world. Take me into your paradise, as I leave this earthly body behind. Help me up the steps to this celestial world of the Gods, my soul knows nothing else, my breath slowly starts to fade. The winds sing louder as the known world fast drifts away. I am nothing, I am not... I am another drifting soul that has merged into the heavenly world of the Lord.

Om Na Ma Shi Va Ya|

Reflections on the Trinity - Trimurti Shiva

I breathe in the fresh air, I feel the pure dew in my palm. I look up in Surya Namaskaram to the Sun God and my heart sings out the Aditya Hrudayam.

Esha brahma cha Vishnuscha shiva skanda prajapathi|
Mahendro, dhandha kalo yama somo hyapam pathi ||

The sun climbs the clear sky, the warmth bathes my soul. He is Brahma, He is Vishnu, He is Shiva and He is Skanda. He is the progenitor of the human race, He rules the celestials, He rules the devas, He is that which shines in the gold of Kubera, He rules life in all the worlds known. He is kala, He is time, He sets in our minds at the time of death, He rises again mirrored in the moon.

I see the presence of Trimurti, I breathe in this fresh air and I look up to the sun. In this bright light I see the Trimurti shining down on me.

***

I sit in silent meditation, lighting this lamp with its wick dipped in a pool of pure ghee. Lighting the match as I ignite this flame and hold it up, my mind is silent and I hear the sacred words.

Deepamjyothi Parabrahma|
Deepamjyothi Janardhana||
Deepo me hara tu paapam|
Deepaa Jyothir Namostute||

In this light I worship Lord Brahma, in this flame I worship Lord Vishnu (Janardhana), in this flame I burn my sins and to this flame I bow, to the great Lord Shiva.

I see the presence of Trimurti, I imbibe their essence present in this flame. I light this sacred fire in my heart before I commence my prayer to Lord Shiva. This flame I light every morning, this flame I light at sunset, with this flame I welcome, the Trimurti to reside in my home.

***

I look up at Lord Shiva, I look up at the Linga. The divine form remains etched in my mind as my heart worships the trinity.

I worship the Linga, this beautiful form at the Brahma Bhaga which I cannot see.
I worship the Linga, this grace present on earth as it rises in front of me as the Vishnu Bhaga
I worship this Linga, at its head where lies the essence of all energy that lies here capsuled, that controls this universe at the Rudra Bhaga.

I witness the presence of Trimurti Shiva in this form, that envelopes the three Great Gods - Brahma, Vishnu and Shiva - into the single form of Sadashiva.

***

This moment is sacred, this moment is pure and this moment is everlasting as I raise this Vivla to offer to the Lord in worship.

Moolatho brahma roopaya, madhyatho Vishnu roopini|
Agratha shiva roopaya, Eka bilwam shivarpanam||

I offer this leaf of Vivla to Lord Shiva, this leaf so pure and divine. I hold this leaf with Lord Brahma resides at its base, Lord Vishnu who resides in the stem and Lord Shiva who resides at its top. With my soul enveloped in this divine leaf, I offer this leaf without any flaw to the Lord and with this I pray for perfection.

Such a perfect leaf, with each left part denoting Surya, Chandra and Agni. How potent and pure is this leaf that has the trinity residing within it.

***

The Lord stands on apasmara, the Lord stands one legged crushing my ignorance. The Lord Ekapada Shiva stands as the Trinity, as Trimurti Shiva who rises with Lord Brahma and Lord Vishnu on his side.

Shivam Shantham jagnannatham|
Lokanugraha karakam||
Shivamekapadam nithyam|
Shikaraya namo nama||

This is the Panchakshara, a part of which is the letter Shi, To Lord Shiva who resides in its essence. Who is the keeper of peace and who preserves this world and all its creation. Who creates life in the form of Brahma, who preserves life in the form of Vishnu and who releases the soul in the form of Shiva. To the great Lord Trimurti Shiva I bow.

The all pervading Lord Shiva Trimurti echoes everywhere around me, in the morning sun, in the flame of the lamp I light, in the very form of the Linga worship, in the pure vilva leaves I offer in prayer. He resides deep within my intellect as Ekapada Shiva, crushing my ego to uplift my being.

Kalahasti, Where the Divine Lord Breathes

Lost among ancient hills, overpowered by the most popular shrine at Tirupati, the endless highway winds around low hills and the green countryside of Andhra Pradesh leading a seeking devotee straight to the temple gates of Lord Shiva at Kalahasti.

Among the noise and clatter, with vendors selling flowers to those selling Rahu Ketu puja to officials offering special darshan, Kalahasti has every sign of a living temple today. In the midst of all this noise, and wading through half of India’s moving population on foot, finding our way through the maze of metal walkway, the freedom of Kalahasti has long gone giving way to just “one way traffic”. Yet there is peace here, yet there silence if only we care to hear it. As people pay through to see the Lord, getting into occasional wars right in front of the shrine, shouting abuses in the interior halls of the sacred temple, this is the other India, the other Hinduism that clearly shows the lack of spiritualism among the ignorant masses who visit.

And yet, peace can be won. A trained mind that can concentrate is all one needs to switch off the sound of the madness and switch onto the sound of the Lord’s breath within his shrine chamber. Here it is a completely different world. The shrine chamber well decorated with silver plated exteriors flanked by two dwarapalas and two priests houses a spectacular concept within. The air here is pure, the experience is overwhelming and the emotions pour into a river of sacred syllables that flow over all the senses that cut out the worldly noise. This is the entrance to the divine presence of the Lord of Kailasa. The ardha manadapa (vestibule) is a room large enough to capture this essence that emanates from within, for what lies within is much more than just wind, just vayu… the Lord breathes here, he lives here, he is here.


Nandi, sits at his door and look up to him in silence, his breath in rhythmic patterns recites the Panchakshara as it cuts through the noise to reach the Lord, a divine dialog of which we are just “not” a part but also fail to understand that we should not even cross this sacred space. And here I stand right in the middle of it with no choice but to view the Lord within.

The air is still, the tiny lamps flicker making a halo of light around this extraordinary linga that is not made out of black stone. A narrower shaft rises out of the peetha, with the representations of a spider at its bottom and two stumps on it that give the feeling of gaja rupa, the form of an elephant. Rising straight up to cover the Lord’s head is the serpent power, a five hooded snake. These sacred emblems are not directly seen, as they are covered by the jeweled starry crown that the Lord wears to protect us, the Navagraha Kavacha. The navagrapha, the nine planets who adorn Him, are represented by nine strips of sacred metal, with three stars in each row representing a star. The whole kavacha invoked in one’s worship, with mantra recited thrice, one for each star brings the sacred count to 27, blessing the devotee with lesser pain through their karmic lives.

The Lord represents the universe, the living emblem within which we live, he is breath that pulsates within this chamber, the only witness being the hanging lamp whose flame never dies, never stops a dance, sways as he breaths to indicate to the world that he IS, he lives, he resides here. As the great moment arrives, devotees stand is queues, waiting for those sacred few seconds where they witness a picture, not too easy to catch.

This is the divine abhishekam, the only chance where we can see the Lord in his form, where the Navagraha Kavacha is removed and placed alongside. In the dimly lit interior, with priests silently pouring sacred water over the Lord, who towers within the center of his chamber, this view is breathtaking. He stands on a stark square peetha, made of stone and rises in the center of a lit up interior. The water flows down his sides, with a million lights flickering on its shaft as it flows down, covering his divine being. The lamp dances on, as the cool air within brings a strange peace a strange fragrance to the approaching devotees. The air is still and yet in all the noise one can hear the divine sound of Panchakshara, Om Na Ma Shi Va Ya resounding within the walls. In tune is the damaru, the sound of creation as one imagines Nandikeshwara play the mridangam. In these divine sounds, is embedded my breath, a rhythm that slows down to imbibe the beauty of this place.

The mind is silent, the sacred Mrityunjaya rhythmically rambles on in my mind, followed by the Rudram that plays music in my mind as the sounds of creation get louder. The breath of the Lord, sends ripples through the air, pulsates with my being as I leave everything in the known world behind. This is life, this is reality, this is being in the presence of creation, that which never ends. This is the world of Lord Shiva, one of silent energy, one of real truth, one that transforms an ever noisy temple seeped in corruption into a divine chariot that floats through the air, occasionally nudged by the divine breath of the Lord within the chamber.

As the bhakta walks out, with the heart floating in this divine chariot, the world in the outer hall way personifies divinity, through all the jailed illusion. Shiva lingas adorn the precincts, redefining the glory of the lord. As the sun penetrates through a small window in the west wall, and bathes a silent linga seated on its pedestal, it’s the only form I can touch and perform namaskaram to. Holding the peetha with my hands and placing my head at his divine feet, in complete surrender to the Lord, I pray for enlightenment. This moment is pure, he is near and he is listening to the feeble voice that comes out from within. I wish I could have hugged him, and stayed there to just talk to him. I move on as I am controlled by Kala, by time. Each corner is divine, graced by Kalabhairava who stands handsome with his dog and trishul, with a bowl in his hand. Near him sit the Sapta Matrika, or Sapta Kannigai elegantly seated displaying a certain wilderness in their posture. In the south corner lies the divine spatica, crystal clear and shining. This is the divine pantheon of surrounding Lord Shiva and his divine consort. This is the sacred beauty of Kalahasti, this is the heavenly world on earth. We are so close and yet in our minds we are so far.

All I can think of is praying to the Lord to ward away my troubles!

Grahanaam aadhi radhithyo Loka Rakshana Karaka |
Vishama sthana sambhootham Peedam harathu may ravi ||

Please steal away my problem O Sun, the first of all the planets that adorn the Lord’s chest. You are the cause of protecting the world and you are the cause of trouble by the position you hold at the time of my birth.

This prana feels trouble but isn’t it the essence of life, trouble IS because I am born, trouble IS because I don’t accept, trouble IS because I desire more and more. Isn’t it unfortunate that I don’t desire the presence of the Lord in my conscious life as much as I desire something that doesn’t exist? Doesn’t this make me look really miserable?

I stand here, an ignorant fool who thinks I know how to live. I stand here a coward because I cannot face life. I stand here a human because I am limited and inadequate. I stand here in this birth because I am still imperfect. I stand here with all my sorrows because I am Apasmara.

An ode to Lord Shiva with Vilva leaves

I am your humble servant
I want to be at your feet Lord
I am so lost in your love
I want to touch you Lord
I am so overwhelmed in your presence
I want to cry out Lord
I am so intoxicated with your thought
I am hopeless without you Lord
I am so still with satisfaction
I do not connect with this world any more O Lord

Vilva, a simple leaf yet swollen with divinity is one of the most sacred ingridients that enhance the presence of Lord Shiva in the heart of the Bhakta. Emotion that is so strong and exalted, becomes a song when the perfect offering of Vilva is made to the Lord. This excitement is triggered at the moment of picking fresh vivla for puja, while washing these sacred leaves and while offering them as one's own eyes at the divine feet of the Lord. At the moment of worship, with the Lord present at his seat, with the lamp light flickering and illuminating this moment and the incense that bring fragrance in the air. I offer my prayers...

Tridalam trigunakaaram trinethram cha triyayusham |
Trijanma papa samharam Eka bilwam shivarpanam. ||

The leaf, my humble offering that is like the three eyed Lord Shiva Trayambakeshwara, I bow to you to bestow in me three qualities. This leaf which has three leaves in it, is like the triad of weapons that destroys all the sins I have commited in my last 3 births.

Trishakhai bilwapathraischa hyachidrai komalai shubai |
Shiva poojam karishyami, Eka bilwam shivarpanam ||

I offer this leaf to you Lord, that has 3 shoots which have no holes, nor are they torn. Their freshness and their beauty, I hope my Lord, it will please you.

Aganda bilwa pathrena poojithe nandikeshware |
Shudhyanthi sarva papebhyo, Eka bilwam shivarpanam ||

I worship Lord Nandikeshwara with this uncut Vilva leaf. I pray to you O Nandikeshwara, the devine vehicle of the Lord, that my sins be destroyed forever. I offer you this leaf.

Salagrama shilamekaam vipranam jatha cha arpayeth |
Soma yagna maha punyam, Eka bilwam shivarpanam ||

In these times of ignorance and delusion, I offer you Lord, this sacred leaf with all my devotion. This offering I make is equal to making an offering of a Salagrama to a Brahmin or being blessed with the magnitude of virtues that one is blessed with by performing the Soma yagna.

Dandi koti sahasrani vajapeya sathani cha |
Koti kanya maha danam, Eka bilwam shivarpanam ||

I offer the tender shoots of this divine leaf to you O lord. I wish to make this offering with the same intensity that will equal the gifting of a thousand elephants to you or equals the strength in making a hundred fire sacrifices. I make this offering as profound as making an offering of a million young maidens who will serve you devotedly.

Lakshmyasthanutha uthpannam mahadevasya cha priyam |
Bilwa vruksham prayachami, Eka bilwam shivarpanam ||

This small offering I make to your O Lord Shiva, I hope, will have the same energy as that of a Vilva tree offered to you, that which has been born from the bossom of Goddess Lakhmi herself. Such a pure Vilva tree is very dear to Lord Shiva.

Darshanam bilwa vrukshasya, sparsanam papa nasanam |
Aghora papa samharam, Eka bilwam shivarpanam ||

I offer this leaf to you O Lord Shiva, this leaf that is so pure, that if I touch it I will become pure, or even seeing this leaf will rid me off all my Karmic sins.

Kasi kshethra nivasam cha kala bhairava darshanam |
Prayaga madhavam drushtwa, Eka bilwam shivarpanam ||

I consider myself blessed if I can live in the holy city of Kasi and worship Lord Shiva in the form of Kalabhairava and be blessed by him. I would be cleansed off all my sorrow if I visited and worshiped the Lord Madhava at Prayag (Allahabad).

Moolatho brahma roopaya, madhyatho Vishnu roopini |
Agratha shiva roopaya, Eka bilwam shivarpanam ||

This verse I sing, realizing the utmost beauty of this tender leaf I hold. For now I feel the presence of Brahma who resides at the lowest tip, and Vishnu who resides in the central shoot and Lord Shiva reigns supreme at the upper end of this leaf.

Bilwashtakam idham punyaam, padeth shiva sannidhou |
Sarva papa nirmuktha Shiva loka maapnuyath ||

Having worshiped Lord Shiva, I sing these divine verses that describe my being. To the Lord who saves my from my sins and at the end takes me with him to his abode at Mount Kailasa.

Chandra Yoga - The moon light, a drop of immortality

The elixir of life
The divine rays of the moon
The soft reflection of cool light
In the water of the stream that flows

The sounds of the ripples
Awakens the primordial sound
Bringing alive the subtle world
As I immerse my being in this flow

The universe brightens
The night sky all clear
The chill in the air sweeps by
In the pure breath that dives within

I am jeeva, I am life
I am this phenomenon present now
The shimmering waters cover my soul
Opening the channels of life within my breath

I drink this elixir of life
This wholesome breath enriches my soul
My body submerged in these divine ripples
I hear the primordial sound in my ears

I rise out of the waters
Tiny silvery droplets cover me
I wear this shimmering cloak
Moon droplets cover my being

The night has set in, the moon rises high as I step into this ocean of peace. The waters are silent shimmering in the moon light bathe me in this heavenly theater. I breathe, taking in this silent intoxication as I wake up to the shining rays of the moon defined by Kaala that brings energy of a different kind that needs to be consciously experienced during the pattern of regular breathing.

In the pleasant silence under the night sky shimmering with stars and other heavenly celestial bodies, my mind drifts into the wholesome breath that fills my lungs. Cool breeze in steady flow, pass through one nostril as I hold my breath to feel the chill in the air. The calm in the air brings alive the moment of lull, the equilibrium that knows no time, no kaala, no breath but just this cool sensation that begins to grow within myself. The breath gets slower, the exhalation lesser and the air turns into this growing elixir that stays on longer, bringing the senses to a halt.

The body relaxed, the senses settled, the mind at rest is the definition of this equilibrium. The night is quiet and all have slept leaving its beauty ready to be experienced by inner vision. The full moon glows, the light penetrates the space, the air settles and the magical world of the celestials comes alive. They have come too, to worship the supreme, to appreciate the untouched beauty of divine creation while the world rests in deep slumber.

As the moon waxes the kaalas expand, the rays become stronger and brighten this world, and as the moon wanes they contract fading into the darkness slowly. Every night I visit this stream, I breathe and experience this beauty that appears in my mind, this world that awakens within my consciousness. This is the world of Kundalini, as it rises from the Muladhara to the Sahasrara. This is the heat, this is the fire, and this is the Agni Kundalini that arises from the Muladhara to the Anahata as it awakens me at every point, as the lotus of my consciousness blooms. I rise from the Anahata, the Kundalini now glows as bright as the sun, bringing alive the surya mandala that has been lying dormant in me. This awakening is silent, in the moon lit night as the energy rises up towards Susumna. My breath is rhythmic, the nadis open, I breathe in wholesome and rise to Chandra Kundalini. Here the Kundalini resides at Sahasrara, here my energy converges into the divine as Turiya Kundalini.

With every rise of Kundalini I hear my heart resound, I hear the beat of creation as the rhythm of subtle life is ignited with every breath that flows through me. I am the self sustaining, I am one with the divine, and I am life that lives a thousand years. I stand here under the starry sky, as I feel the celestials arrive, blessing me in their divine light, that bathes me in the silence of this moonlit night. This is the world of the divine - of the devas, of the gandharvas and of the greater Gods, who bless me - as the Sun glows in his splendor blowing his conch and awakens the celestial world, welcoming me home.

This is pure consciousness, this is “chit”, this is the moment of truth, and in this silent moon lit night, I hear the divine couple play this beautiful game of dice. This is another world so far removed from the noise of maya that I have been sucked into. This is the pure sound of the pranava mantra, the sound of creation, the sound of OM. As the divine dice roll on, it is a small play of love, of union between Lord Shiva and his consort, Tripurasundari. This is the world of Lord Shiva and Tripurasundari, their beauty overwhelming as the Mother blesses me with her half opened eyes that bloom like water lilies in the night sky. This is pure elixir, this is pure amrita, this is somaskanda, that bring me to witness the divine couple within my mind, awakening my soul to new renewed undying consciousness.

The depth of Dakshinamurthy Shiva

Srinivasan breathed a heavy breath, he was exhausted and he wanted to just settle his mind on the form of Dakshinamurthy. Shiva, the intellectual, with his eyes closed in dhyana sits under the fig tree with the six great sages; the Sanakadimunivars listen in silence as the pearls of wisdom fall into existence. This is a form of Shiva who is composed of bliss, intelligence and existence, who controls the world of Maya at will, who has no beginning nor end and yet is formless himself.

There is eloquence in his being; there is purity in the air around him and the soft verses of praise rhythmically bathe the ambience for the seeker to listen.

Through the illusion of Atman, he who sees the universe exist within himself during his hours of sleep, like a city exists within a mirror, such that the universe looks like a manifestation of its own, he who beholds himself when awake, his own, the incarnate of the teacher, to him, the teacher who faces south, to him I bow.

He manifests himself in the bodies of all, of Brahma, of the devas, of Purusha (man) and of pashu(lesser animals). He is within those that are womb born, egg born, sweat born and earth born. When he is realized the world melts into him as if it were a blissful dream. And therefore I come into existence, I am life, I am consciousness, and I am pure.

Tat Tvam Asi

But I am a prisoner in this thick fog of Maya, my consciousness manifests itself as imagination, doubt, confusion, memory, determination, guess... Thus I adopt a school of thought, to understand and find, to realize myself. And thus I hold on to life, to meaning and to philosophy, to escape the clutches of this Maya that imprisons my mind. And so philosophy was born.

Charvaka: or Lokayatas hold that nothing is real except that which is revealed to the senses.

Kanada: founder of the Vaiseshika school of thought, believe that character and attributes are inherent in the atoms themselves and thus gives rise to objects of creation as well as their qualities.

Sugata: the popular Buddha believes Atman is not independent of the state of consciousness which is ever changing with every moment

Sankhyas: who follow the doctrines of Kapila and Patanjali, that the universe consists of two realities, Purusha(consciousness) and Prakriti(phenomenal realm of matter), the experience and the experienced, and where ultimate realization is achieved by following Ashtanga yoga.

Vedantins: who believe in the system of Sariraka-mimamsa, that explains the nature of Brahman

Pauranikas: who believe in the puranas that explain the creation of the universe and its beings and explain the histories and descriptions of various Gods and Goddesses.

Pratyakshas: who believe in sensuous perception, right knowledge obtained by sense organs coming in contact with external objects, like color is obtained through the eye.

Anumana: right knowledge obtained from the process of inference, that where there is smoke, there has to be fire. Hence the inference is fire as the presence of smoke reveals it.

Sabda: right knowledge obtained through verbal statement from a trust worthy source.

Upamana: right knowledge that is obtained from the process of comparison

Arthapatti: knowledge in the form of presumption, surmising a thing to account for something else that is known.

Abhava: immediate consciousness of the non existence of something by the non perception of it, therefore if it existed it should be perceived.

Sambhava: the right knowledge as to the existence of a part, when we know the whole of which it is a part also exists.

Aitihya: right knowledge obtained by centuries of tradition, transmitted generation to generation of which the source is unknown.

Srinivasan sighed, feeling the silence and bliss within him. Time doesn’t exist, its part of the very Maya we are engulfed with, Kala defines the change that is felt or perceived in that which is living, that which has prana, that which is Atman. Srinivasan stood bewildered with the thought of the great Lord of the South, who touches the consciousness, who governs the ever open mind into a state of everlasting bliss.

He had awoken to the truth of Dakshinamurthy and yet he could scarcely comprehend it. The truth echoed in his mind and yet the fog didn’t lift. The peace of equilibrium and high emotional bliss touched him and yet he felt it was momentary. The thought of coming back to this world brought his mind crashing into the depths of Maya we all know so well.

Srinivasan opened his eyes, Lord Dakshinamurthy continued to be in dhyana with his eyes closed. The apasmara purusha, the emblem of ignorance felt like that of Shrinivasan’s as he felt the warm force of divine Lord gently crush his “imagined” self. He was the seventh present, who tried hard to listen to the truth of the universe and yet those words felt like they fell on deaf ears.

Gurur Brahma Gurur Vishnu | Gurur Devo Mahesh Varaha||

Guru Shakshat Para Brahma|Tasmai Shri Guruve Namaha||
Guruve sarva lokaanaam Bhishaje bhava roginaam|
Nithyai sarvadhiyaanam Dakshinamurthaye namo namaha||

Related topics:
Shiva Dakshinamurthy, Vadapalani, Chennai
The realm of Shiva, the meaning of Atman

Content Courtesy:
Dakshinamurthy stotra of Sri Shankaracharya, text translated by Alladi Mahadeva Shastri

Kalabhairava, the ughra form of Lord Shiva

Puja brings peace to the mind, and as one observes the Lord in the lamp light, there is certain brilliance to his being as he appears to reside at his seat, within a humble puja room, enhancing this throne, this space to a higher spiritual level with his presence. 

Fire has divine light, and as it glows, it brings alive the invisible presence of the Lord to us. This silent conversation brings deep thought as the Lord plays with the thoughts in the mind. Here is one such conversation.

Be it the chilling presence of the Lord on the river side in the cold wintry morning or be it the warmth of the Lord in the darkness of the Garbha griha, his form rings with enigma as one wonders about the various avatars he has taken in different mythologies. We are very accepting when it comes to his soumya forms, where he is depicted with Parvati as a gentle husband, as the divine Lord, but we can scarcely accept his presence as Kalabhairava, the fierce self. 

As the conversation proceeds, the mind dwells on the fact that it’s not just material detachment that one is expected to do away with for higher spiritual satisfaction. That is probably the beginning of it. Detachment from the material world brings additional concentration and more time and mind space that can be spent on the Lord. It brings peace of mind and creates the ambience for higher thoughts to take shape. And then the subtle universe awakens in the mind. 

Kala Bhairava rules the land of Ujjain and also the Ghats of Varanasi. And the bhaktas follow the rule when they life and experience the presence of the Lord here. Be it the aghoris of today’s world or be it the ancient world of Karraikkal Ammaiyar, the gore of the cremation ground and the fearful aspect of death is what echoes in these places. Kalabhairava creates fear, with well documented spells that state that blood and flesh needs to be sacrificed to win the trust and blessings of this form of Lord Shiva. This is enough to make us take a step back, us as in the so called civilized world.

Mahakala, Kalabhairava, Rudra are all fierce expressions of Lord Shiva, dressed in a garland of skulls, smeared with red kumkum on the forehead, free flowing matted hair and shown in a posture that spells destruction. Rudra on the other hand is red eyed and signifies tears with a fiery halo that makes him appear even more dynamic. These forms of the Lord do not look half as scary but the reality of these forms bring fear when the normal aghoris try to ape them, for they have not reached that level of divinity that calls for the warmth that is felt even in these wild forms when the Lord takes them.

This is the subtle world, a world of no bias towards preconceived ideas. This is the second level of renunciation that is expected of us. The first was material, the second is attitude. Did Lord Shiva take on these forms to teach us that there is no room for fear even if he appears fearsome? This appearance can make us squirm or this appearance can intrigue us that there is warmth and protection even when he appears to hold the kabala of a human in his hand and demands blood in his bowl!

Multi handed, the all powerful form of Mahakala is seated on his throne at Ujjain, in front of whom Bali is offered, it has been a blood bath of animals or people. This blood of sacrifice was religiously offered to the deity by pouring it into the cup he held in his left hand. In all his forms, with the variations in the number of hands he is depicted with, he is depicted holding a bowl in his left hand in which is offered blood or grain depending on where he is and the form he takes. Bhikshatana, or Nataraja, Kalabhairava or Mahakala, he walks with matted hair and little cloth roaming the forests or the cremation grounds. This is also Shiva. 

In the holy city of Ujjain, Mahalaka here is offered liquor, liquor that is visibly consumed. This liquor represents the blood that used to be offered in ancient days. Mahakala’s association with liquor, may appear to be for the wrong reasons, be it an offering into his cup in the ancient temple at Ujjain or be it into the funeral pyre by the aghoris at Varanasi. This liquor is a lot more than an alcoholic offering for consumption by the deity. What could possibly be the association of liquor to blood that is considered so sacred, be it any form…

In this awry image of the Lord I am forced to make a distinct parallel. In the Bible, Jesus Christ held up his wine glass during the Last Supper and said “This is my blood” and then he held up a piece of bread and said “This is my flesh”. The Last Supper was recorded as a turning point in the life of Christ where he headed towards sacrificing his life for the rest of mankind, to be crucified at the cross. His last words "forgive them Lord for they know not what they are doing". 

Disconnected though it may seem, I am unable to ignore this rare co-incidence of commonality between two very different faiths. What then is the significance of blood to wine/liquor? As one of the interpretations in the bible says, blood that flows as an offering to the Lord is the river of everlasting life, liquor or wine is the world of illusion, and the bread was the body of Christ in this case. And the forgiveness is towards mass ignorance, not towards crucifying him.

This description brings alive the presence of Mahakala Shiva, to whom human and animal sacrifices were once made, the flesh or the body of the deceased represented the corpse, the end of time, the end of life similar to that on which Ma Kali walks. This is the obvious description that hits the eye and that which has been documented. What is missing is the subtle thought of renunciation, where the blood flowing is the life that is within me, where the liquor is this illusion, this bias or attitude to differentiate that I wish to give up as I present it in the bowl that the Lord holds towards me. I give up my fear, I give up my colored thoughts, I give up the self that is so disillusioned. I am pure and I have lost every sense of attachment, to the world and to my thoughts, to my bias and to my attitude. And then I can join Karraikkal Ammaiyar in her unending bhakti towards Lord Shiva, who dances the tandava among the flames of the cremation ground, and all I see is pure love, pure bhakti, and pure thought.

A journey from Pictures to Temples to Yantras to Nirvana.

The temple, sacred in its presence and alive with energy that sets the heart beating when a devotee walks in wanting to catch the sight of Paramatman again in his aniconic form, is the seat of the universe itself.

The walls don't just house the supreme emblem inside but fortify the very energy center along a ground plan that is the blue print of the yantra that forms the mystic symbol of the individual Gods and Goddesses.

The yantra is the mystical base on which either temples rise or Gods descend into puja rooms. Be it an elaborate architectural wonder or be it a picture of deity well decorated within the puja room, the form takes on that which is intricately woven into the sacred syllables within the yantra - the geometrical representations of these deities.

This is not just about geometrical patterns that mystically define a form that we feel a lot familiar with in pictures, these are sacred beeja mantra syllables that define a lot more and call upon the very living force to bless the home or the temple with their presence.

Entering into the main temple shrine is defined by the number of gates that surround it, in the south of India, this is defined by the gopurams in four cardinal directions as well as the number of walls one crosses to get to the main shrine, which is the same as depicting 4 square gateways that lead into the center of the yantra from its four square sides describing the same gates geometrically in abstraction. This in popular terms is possibly called Vaastu Shastra.

Coming into the vicinity of this energy center entails one to be pure physically as per the scriptures. Be it a bath before the puja or be it a dip in the temple tank one is purified physically before they make their way to the main shrine. With offerings of flower and fruit, coconut and small flame of life the devotee offers moments of contemplation to the Istha Devata.

Walking around the temple as one advances towards the sanctum, brings the devotee face to face with the many Avatars the deity took to bring calm into the universe, the same is described by sacred syllables and minute depiction of the sacred self in the geometry of the yantra either obviously or through direction that emphasizes the respective forms as in the case of Sadashiva who is made of 8 forms of himself, each representing a cardinal direction. Back in the picture, this might not be depicted altogether but is largely understood.

In contemplation, deities appear either 2 handed,4 handed, 8 handed or 16 handed. Each hand carries an element, that visually appears like a noose, a sickle, sword, axe, arrow or bow etc. but also carries a profound sound that is capsuled with energy around the deity, defining their presence a lot more effectively in contemplation. These profound sounds are small syllables that appear in petals around the main geometrical form, in numbers of 4, 8, or 16 petals of a lotus inscribed in the yantra. In the picture at home, the deity is seen carrying these elements or is seated on a lotus seat of similar number of petals.

The Yantra described triangles with colors representing various Gods and Goddesses, the same is redefined in the clothes they wear in the pictures. Authentic pictures always show Devi in red and Ganesha in green and yellow. Decorating the deity with a crown and ornaments with flowers and clothes is similar to doing alankaram to the yantra after regular abhishekam. The same is done in a more elaborate way within the temple walls where the deities are dressed in the same colors in silks.

Contemplation involves invoking these forms of the supreme by regularly reciting the sacred syllables and mantras that bring them alive. Back at home, this leads the bhakta into silent japa, at the temple the priest utters these sounds during abhishekam. The energy is kept alive and the deity invoked blesses the bhakta.

On completion of this contemplation, as the peace sinks in, the devotee raises the small deepam in aarti, culminating the puja to an end. The priest raises the aarti in various lights, of numbers 1, 3, 5, 27 and 108, with mudras and offerings of a parasol, fanning and other sacred symbols of divine praise, offering them to the devata who is seated on their throne, beautifully decorated within their sanctum. This is the same form that is captured in a picture that comes alive within the puja room, a visual and far more familiar and understandable form as compare to a yantra, that strangely asks for more rule and greater care in its worship.

As one goes deeper into worship, spending more time in contemplation, one comes into understanding deeper levels of worship, superior forms of ritual that define methodology that helps realize the secrecy of this mysticism which brings alive a different world to the bhakta. This mysticism can just be realized and experienced, as the devotee is blessed with heightened emotion, mesmerized by the very form that they see of the supreme paramatma. These are in the form of mudra, natya, song, japa, vrata and sadhana.

This entire ritual through life, awakens the istha devata within the self and triggers energy of a different kind within the physical temple that we are built of, awakening each chakra within our system and converting us into a living temple where the apasmara is smashed to give way for the supreme to be enthroned within the seat of our sanctum - hrudaya kamalam.

Shiva Rudra - Tribute to the Red Eyed Lord

Lord Shiva Rudra along the Narmada

Rudra, the red eyed, gentle and fiery represents warmth and protection. Rudra, the red eyed shines through anything in the material world. Rudra the red eyed makes His presence felt no matter how uncanny the reality around. Rudra the red eyed, is there to be experienced if we try hard enough.

Fire is not as dangerous as it appears, Rudra is not as scary as he appears, Bhairava is not as violent as he is pictured. He is real, subtle and present in the pulse of life. What do I mean when I say this?

Rudra Shiva is not a treasure hunt or a well of information that once discovered is realized. No he is none of this. Rudra Shiva is the eye of life, the awakening being within myself, the consciousness, the fire of my soul, that has just started to burn. Rudra, the sound, brings vibration and heat of a higher kind, energy and life of a different nature, that needs to awaken, and mature with time. Rudra is vibration that if contemplated upon persistently reveals its nature slowly. Rudra, is the constant within us, the beat of the heart, the silenced thoughts that disappear to give way to pleasant imagination and high emotion when the Lord appears deep within the subconscious to be experienced. Rudra, is the light within, the sound energy within that silences all worry that clouds the imagination.

Rudra is that pulse within, you have it and I. We just need to try and He is there waiting to be awakened. Rudra is the blessing, he is the warmth and the fearlessness that makes us feel that this world, this maya is really quite trivial. Rudra is the subconscious that opens the inner world to us. Those ideas, those thoughts that I dont own, and those feelings that melt my heart pouring into tears that well out of my eyes, are these not an external expression of this awakening within myself?

My subconscious, the purity within me is where the Lord resides, as Bhikshatana, as Annapurni Mata, as Shankara, as Trayambaka, as Rudra. These are not just names attached with mythological stories, these are not just presentations of the Lord in human form, these are the very nature and energy of the supreme force Himself. And what if they appear within the vision of the subconscious to just bless the being, the human being, the limited human being that knows none, understands none, but fears all.

I am a speck in this ocean, I am a drop of life, and I am the 8th element, asleep lost and clouded in maya, I am part of Ashtamurti Shiva.

Om Bhavaya, Om Sarvaya, Om Isana, Om Tatpurusha, Om Rudra, Om Ughra, Om Bheema, Om Mahati, Om Paramaeshwar, the eight formed Lord, who represents the elements of water, fire, wind, ether, earth, sun, moon and my mind, O Sadayojata, O Sadashiva, the Lord of all the directions, the single pulse of energy that guides this world, O red eyed Rudra, I bow to you humbly for granting me this vision. The single energy center, the red eyed Lord, so clear and pure, so warm and enveloping, why then are you feared? Why then are you called terrific, why then are you considered so violent when all I can see is tenderness in your glowing eyes!

Om Rudraya devaya Namaha|

I bow to the Lord of the devas, to Rudra, to the creator of spiritual sound, that is involked in his names, the spiritual energy that vibrates within my being when I contemplate on his name. This devotion looks so small, so meak, so insignificant in front of your greatness, your form. To the fiery Lord of Love, warmth and peace, I bow humbly, and surrender to your presence deep within my subconscious, my real world, my core, that vibrates with the name of Rudra Trayambaka Shiva.

To see the sun, the moon and fire is one thing, but to feel the presence of the three eyed Lord Rudra is yet another. The core of red, the eye of light, the eye of life, the eye of fiery energy, the eye of divinity is in eternal abstraction, hard to explain but fulfilling and overwhelming to experience. Its the feeling of heightened emotion that results in heavy droplets of tears, that flow out like pearls falling through space, enhancing the bliss within so high that the minds knows nothing else. This awakens pulsating heat within the heart, heat that stays giving warmth of a flame that can beat the external cold without cover. This is ecstacy, this is emotion, this is beyond logic of the known kind, this is beyond blind faith, this is pure love, this is real.

Rudraya Devaya Namaha||

Photo courtesy: Creative commons - flickr.com

Prayashchita for life's miseries

I am not a killer, and yet I feel uncomfortable with myself. I have done no theft and yet I stand the biggest convict of my own principles, I have not broken law and yet my own laws to myself hold me responsible for imperfection. I stand guilty as my mind calls me a sinner, leaving me with regret and sorrow over my past deeds and life.

Being born human may not be as much a blessing as it appears to be a curse. Many mythologies indicate that divine beings, celestials and even super Gods have taken birth on earth to atone for their sins, having caused harm to others in heaven and other worlds.

Once born, one is faced with a life that doesn’t make much sense, doesn’t always deliver happiness, and leaves one confused over one's purpose of existence. The days of prayashchit are gone, the days of acute regret seem to be over and people are left with huge baggage of karma that follows them where ever they go. There are no answers because we don’t know what questions to ask, there is no peace because we do not know how to get rid of this baggage, there is no escape because these thoughts only come back to haunt us. There is only suffering because we know we are in the wrong and even if we are not, the lack of acceptance of reality doesn’t let us live in peace, and there is no escaping the mounting pressure the conscience puts on the self to clean itself out.

In a world where humans err, perform acts of sin unknowingly and try to cover up as much from the world of moral to save one's own self respect, there is only one thing that can bail the human mind out from the depths of misery.

Worship, sincere hardcore worship with bhakti, is the key to self resurrection. Like it or not, ritual helps because ritual is a methodology that purifies the soul, and nullifies the deeds that one performs knowingly or unknowingly. This is one of the root mechanisms of Hinduism, to be proven or believed is left to our ignorant judgment.

In a world where it may have become tough to trust anyone for the appropriate ritualistic bail out, where it becomes tough to even confess for prayashchit, the Lord leaves one door open to all those who want to clean themselves out. This cleaning is of the mind, which by now has become such a vast garbage yard and it has started to stink so much that it makes it difficult for anyone to survive with sanity, leave alone looking for happiness.

At this point, with deep humility the mind gives up. The ego surrenders, the heart break down and the mirror that once reflected the beauty of oneself cracks and falls to the ground. What stands naked, in misery is the inner core self, struck by the lightening of one’s own doing, faced with shame of one's own acts and tear loaded eyes that just have no vision left except that of acute disillusionment of one's own perfections.

That’s when the Lord takes over, as the Guru, as the maker, as the supreme form who divinely smiles down and blesses the convict giving them new life, and a method to be bailed out. That’s when Shiva Neelakantha drinks down all the poison of one's actions, Shiva Rudra burns down one's accumulated sins, Shiva Nataraja crushes one's own apasmara, Shiva Bhikshatana cleanses one of their vanity and reduces us to pure nakedness, Shiva Yogishwara presents the syllables of prayer that protects the soul.Shiva Vaitheshwara, the divine doctor rids us off our physical and mental ailments, Shiva Gangadhara purifies us with the holy waters of life, Shiva Mrityunjaya kills every fear known within our system, and Shiva Dakshinamurthy teaches us the way forward to a life of blissful worship.

As the Tripura Rahasya explains, the three cities of Anava Mala(egoism), Karma (bondage) and Maya(illusion) within one's human nature need to be destroyed. Destroying Anava Mala requires self surrender to Lord Shiva to acquire his grace in the form of Anugraha. Destruction of the second impurity karma is done through the consecration of one’s actions at the divine feet of the Lord, giving up the concept of “I am the doer” by developing the feeling of Nimita Bhava. Annihilation of the third impurity that is Maya happens through the deep contemplation and recitation of the Panchakshara, worship of the supreme Guru, hearing and the reflection of the attributes of Lord Shiva and his leelas. This awakens the presence of Lord Tripurantaka into one's consciousness.

At the end of every dark tunnel of karma, there is divine light of enlightenment that guides our souls to safety.