The Secret World of the Green Parrot

Have you ever wondered why green parrots were chosen for being pet birds? In mythology, there has been a strong association of the damsel in love to carry a cage with a green parrot in it which has through ages been associated with the flavor of sensual love. In mystic poetry, green parrots hold the secret of her love mate, and have often spilled those beans when someone comes along and lets them free.

Kamadeva (Wikipedia)

In the world of ancient iconography green parrots have been associated with the Lord of Love - Kama, who holds a sugarcane bow with a string of honey bees. The form of Parvati, Kanchi Kameshwari, holds a Green Parrot and a sugarcane bow with a string of honey bees in her hand as she resides on her beloved the Great Lord Shiva, at the Kamakshi Amman temple in Kanchipuram. Green parrots are associated with this potent essence of mortal love that transforms into divine love while sugarcane and honey bees describe the sweetness of such love. Somewhere along the way we lost the main meaning and just blindly followed the rule of pet birds. Maybe that’s a reason why parrots and love birds made it as pet birds in cages…a hope to keep the love energy active within grihasta.

But here is the twist to this beautiful story. While Goddess Kamakshi holds the green parrot in her hand, it is her consort Lord Shiva who slays Kama, the green parrot who hold the 5 potent arrows of love. Is there something for us to look deeper and wake up to? Kama, the cupid, Lord of sensual mortal love, holds 5 potent arrows tipped in 5 sacred flowers that can mesmerize any human to fall prey to the power of mortal sexual love and stay captive within its sweetness. And with one hit there is practically no chance of revival. It is one such deadly mistake that the great Devas made when they approached Kama to strike these arrows into the Great Yogishwara Himself. But little did Kama know of his own fate when he did that.

The great Ravana (yes I admire this asura) has furiously written this sacred verse on the potency of the love of Lord Shiva, who is way beyond the small world of love that Kama promises us.

Karaala bhaala pattikaa dhagad dhagad dhagaj jwala-

Ddhananjayaa hutee kruta prachanda pancha sayakae

Dharaa dharendra nandinee kuchagra chitrapatraka-

Prakalpanaika shilpini, trilochane ratir mama. ||7||

He on whose intense forehead the great fire of enlightenment burns Dhahaga Dhaga

He who burnt the God of Love, the one with five arrows,

He who describes the essence of pure love by drawing beautiful lines

On the tip of the breasts of the daughter of the mountain

He is of deep interest to me

Why did Lord Shiva burn Kama with the great fire of enlightenment? Now this fire of enlightenment is not any old fire, it’s the divine fire of wisdom. Let’s get past mere mythology and dive into the sacred world of Tantra Shastra. The divine fire of wisdom can destroy the mere fire of sensual love and that decided the fate of Lord Kama. That also decides our fate, if we choose to have the lesser fire of carnal desire burn in the divine flame of spiritual wisdom.

Our problem is that we didn’t ever get past the mythology of why Lord Shiva killed Kama. The deeper meaning of this great mythology is the deep wisdom that somewhere in our race to live, we have lost our purpose or never dug hard enough to find it.

What a beautiful verse the Demon Ravana writes:

The intensity of spiritual wisdom is so high in the great Yogishwara, that the arrows of mere mortal love practically had no effect on him. He writes instead of the spiritual essence of Lord Shiva's love, who is a greater spiritual lover, who describes a higher form of love that is not mere sensual excitement. Clearly the great Yogishwara is not a mere mortal, and such minor flames don’t affect him, hence it was Kama who burned in the fire of wisdom. Did he kill him - No, did Kama die - No, but symbolically Kama, the God of lesser love was taught the art of greater consciousness in spiritual love.

What effect does this story have in our world?

We are capable of greater love, in our mere mortal existence to move ahead beyond sexual boundaries. Divine love, bhakti, and a sense of greater adoration brings compassion into our minds towards lesser beings and greater bliss towards divinity. We have just one trump card - abundance of love - we need to channelize it towards greater spiritual bliss and not waste it in lesser mortal pleasures. The mythological story has a deeper secret towards earning spiritual energy and the green parrot is a constant reminder of how far away we are from it.

Picture courtesy: Wikipedia

The Journey from "I Do" to "I Am"

For a very long period of time I believed that the answer to my quest for the supreme resided in my actions. It was all about doing, what do I need to do to reach the Gods? Clearly, I didn’t get the complete answer, but I did find pockets of divine excitement when I saw a smile on the next man's face if I did something nice for them. Karma marga, supported by the boundaries of one's own dharma defines who we are and what we become based on the needs of this external society. So busy are we pleasing others that we have lost sight of our inner selves. Who am I and why am I here... is a question that hits us once in 20 years if we are lucky. I believed for a very long time, that this world within which I am imprisoned was all there was to it, and keeping others happy was my primary concern. It took a long while to realize, Karma marga is not something I can run away from, but Karma marga is not something that should control me so much either. We can't do away with Karma marga and sit back, we have to act and every action or inaction has a consequence. The decision of course is, what flavour of Karma marga we choose to take up. At the same time I realized very soon, that Karma marga was not enough in isolation, for action, though necessary for existence was inadequate in my spiritual pursuit.

Meanwhile the mind doesn't rest, it has its own problems. It asks questions, it dives into itself and it can go either way. If it is nurtured well, the mind can do more miracles that we thought it was capable of. But if we let it go its own way, it can be the most difficult monster we could ever tame. And this is where most people fall, they take it for granted that they are not capable, losing this crucial battle even before it started. Their biggest weakness is fear and its biggest defense is ego. You can well imagine what a royal mess that can create within us. The mind is capable, if we direct it well and it is doable if we try hard enough. Gyana marga can go one of 2 ways. It can deflect course if we fall prey to intellectual egoism or it can be our trump card if we accept its folly with humility. The mind is not me, it is a tool I use. When this truth is understood and realized as a way of life, we have reached the next stage of spiritual development. 

It took me ages to move from Karma marga to Gyana marga to Bhakti marga. Karma marga felt interesting but inadequate, Gyana marga is a beast am trying to tame, not very successfully but am getting there. Bhakti marga, by far has been my fort that I conquered with ease. Bhakti, is a song I sing so loud in my head, I don’t even know you are talking to me. Bhakti is my inner dialog with my divine family. Bhakti is when I feel the mysterious Shiva linga in front of me and my heart is torn apart because I don’t want to leave it, I want to know everything about it and yet the mind yells inside my head telling me I have to get back to samsara - Karma marga. It’s the moment I have hated the most in my life. It tells me so loudly that samsara is in the exact opposite direction of my spiritual endeavour. 

I have stared at sacred diagrams for ages, I have studied Yantras to whatever extent I could. I know there is something in there and I have felt it, and yet I am not able to get to it. What’s the relevance to the topic you may ask...Deities reside in Yantras, it is a mystical depiction of a sacred spiritual truth beyond our comprehension. When we say "deities reside" they don’t live there, they are what they are, it’s in their nature to be there with a certain energy within a certain power center. And they exude brilliance if their energy is tapped, and that energy is capable of changing the whole environment, the whole situation within which we live. That energy can change the regular course of time, of events that mark our existence.

This brings me to the next level of abstraction. What am I defined by? Is it my actions, is it the events that unfold sequentially that describe my life, or is it me who has disassociated from my temperament. My temperament defines my actions, my wisdom defines me and I start to live life similar to the deities within that yantra. I am, period. I do nothing... I just am. When this disassociation becomes significant, by the path of Bhakti in my case, offering every action and every worry and every happiness to the Gods, then the actions I do are immaterial, the knowledge I acquire is significant, the mind has been tamed. 

And that is when I realize this truth, I moved from "I do" to "I am". 

And this "I am" is a silent being, in sync with the Gods observing the universe play with all of you. Karma marga becomes an offering, Gyana marga becomes a blessing and Bhakti marga becomes a way of life. 

The Art of Learning Wisdom

The mental detachment has set in, all that is around me appears like relative existence. Where then is my true home? 

It has taken many long years, to understand and control my own temperament and start working with my grey cells consciously. When trouble hit, the mind went its way and the heart went its way... that was my temperament. It was a tug of war between what I wanted - when the heart spoke, and how I wanted it - when my mind spoke. And they both were against me - The soul. How then were we to meet eye to eye and arrive at a solution that would work for all of us?

The mind had an ego to please, the heart was hurt and had to be soothed, and I, the soul, was left standing asking the question "what about me?"

The mind had traveled a million thoughts by then, from one potential disaster to the next, and the heart was on a self-inflicting binge, hurting itself more than it needed to. I sat down, quietly, detached from both and watched they till they went silent. Worship helped, the divine flame of wisdom glowed to guide me through the madness inside my head. I just rattled on with the japa, which appeared to be of no use as the mind and heart were tormenting me with their make or break deals. 

The soul stood up finally, deciding for everyone, mind, heart and itself, that war was not the answer. Things had to be sorted out amicably. And, with the grace of the divine flame, a messy situation actually got averted. Peace reigned again. In the external world, the problem actually subsided for the better. I made peace. 

*-*-*-*

This is a state we all go through, when any kind of trouble hits us. Some of us may face ourselves head on, some of us may play escapist and some of us may just inflict more trouble on ourselves. Such is our temperament and we keep adding to the karma bucket endlessly because we didn’t use the grey cells to their fullest potential. 

So what is fullest potential? Is there something beyond that state that I can tap to avert a possibly mishap in my life - thanks to me being me? Fullest potential is when we take control of 2 things, our ego, and our selfishness. We need to believe that it doesn’t hurt to let the ego go, it doesn’t hurt to let go our selfishness and all its related fears. 

The outcome, believe me, is a breath of fresh air. Using the grey cells to the fullest potential is to not give the mind what it wants, is to not nurture the hurt in the heart but to just switch off the brain for a while and live in the lull. The soul takes over at this time, the silence helps calm the madness, in the external world, I am silent and no one knows the massacre of the mind and heart that is taking place inside. I fix the problem because I just let go my ego and selfishness. 

At the end of this ordeal, there was peace outside, everyone out there was happy and I turned a step closer to understanding wisdom. 

*-*-*-*

I had to move mountains inside my head, I had to appease two parts of me that never have listened to me, I had to nab my temperament, and it worked! It worked brilliantly. I learned the art of exercising wisdom. And what a learning that was!

Will I be able to do it again, next time... i don’t know... but for now I have learned one thing - I am capable of doing it and that is a lot of divine wealth for now.

My Selfie Moment with Lord Jagannath

It is yet another blessed day and I find myself headed to Puri once again with my colleagues. We called on the Lord really early this morning to see him before they closed down the great doors for his Bhog. The temple was brimming with life characteristic of its people and activities. Bhajans echoed through the distant walls that have housed the sacred shrines for centuries together. People buzzed around from shrine to shrine seeking every inch of blessings they could gather. The rhythm of the bhajans made a couple of people hop on their toes dancing to its tunes. The divine madness of bhakti and the urge to seek the divine transformed the river of people into a force that was hard to fight as we neared the great shrine. In the chaos that followed, we caught our glimpse of the sacred lord - Jagannathji, ever smiling, ever vigilant, ever alive well within the sacred shrine.

In contrast to all the people who have dotted this landscape across so many centuries, there lay other aspects of the temple that have never left their place through all this time. An ancient tree, believed to be as old as the temple itself, stood at the witness to the timelessness of this shrine. Staring up at the great shikhara from under the shade of this gigantic tree, time seemed to come to a halt. Many like me before and many like me later will stand in exactly the same spot and stare at this temple, wondering about our impermanence in this universe. The old stone, the beaten path ways, this immortal tree, the silent sculptures were all a testimony to a larger truth about the universe we live in. I am not permanent. I have been lucky to have come here, and I will be gone soon.

We soaked in the place, we soaked in the ambiance, we soaked in the history, we soaked in the peace. Lord Jagannath had a different attire on this day. Unlike last time, where he was draped in silks that flowed over his hands, and he wore a dashing mukut of tulsi leaves, this time he was more crisply dressed, in white. His drapes were pulled back, and beautiful strips of yellow splashed across him sparsely, bringing out the nath that hung down from his nose. Yes, Jagannath wears a nose ring, or Nath. And he looks really handsome with it. It was an incredible moment to be with him again, as the spiritual energies rose. He is big, life size and vibrant giving us all the energy we need to go back and face the world but the truth is, do I really want to go back? I could live here, with him, serve him, be by his side. I soaked in the sacred fire, the silent Dhuni that dances graciously within these walls.

"Oh sweet fire, oh sacred flames of purity that stays unaffected through all the din around you...bless me and help me purify myself."

Goddess Mahalakshmi smiled back, a brilliant smile on this Friday, what a lovely moment it was. It was just another day for anyone else, but for me it as special, simply special. I connected with my divine family again, I spent few very good moments with them. I felt good. The desire to seek them is so high and yet the path is so unknown. The Lord knows what he is doing, he will take care of me. I looked back at the sacred dhuni, the flames danced into the air before they disappeared. Made me wonder, what is this fire, what is its nature, why is it so distant and unfamiliar and yet so warm and self-luminous.

With a heavy heart my darshan came to an end. Kala was acting up, I had to go back into samsara. We stepped out of the great temple. My friends took pictures at the main gate, group snaps and selfies. They were surprised to see me not inclined to a selfie of my own. I just smiled back and told them...

"My Selfie moment was inside, when I silently touched the Lord. The self has not come out from the temple. My heart stays with him. This selfie... enjoy your moment. I have gone way past that. :)"

Photo courtesy: http://images.jagran.com/images/ 

A Sacred Lesson Through Death

Pati (grandmom), a brilliant woman who lived up to her late nineties, left her earthly presence a month ago. During her last few years I wondered, which was better - Death or Old Age? Old age looked as much a living hell as death, where family cared little to spend quality time with her. I had the good luck of serving her while she was alive, spending time with her the way she wanted it. 

Her death was sudden, and an eye opener to say the least. Death knocked on her door, not because of ill health, not because of an accident, but it was just simply time up. We, the younger folk had taken her living for granted, she was one of those permanent aspects of our life, she was "always there". We didn't quite know how to deal with a world when she would not be there. Death, just came, and in half an hour she was gone. No pain, no hint of lament, no warning, just permanent silence. I just realized she had been prepared, to some level... to face it. 

I spoke to her last on a Sunday, she was gone by Thursday. I wish, just wish I had spoken to her one last time. I remember the last meeting, my uncle, as usual, was bashing her up for being herself. Little did he realize that would be his last outburst, she wouldn't stick around being the punching bag anymore. That moment really haunted me and the suddenness of her death. Uninvited, silent, sure. 

The activities that surrounded her death, became clearer as the Brahmin priests directed us. She was that spirit who was suddenly an outsider, who had to go and we had to send her away. She was an outsider because she was not human anymore. I learned why we don't leave our hair loose in the south of India, or why wearing a bindi is such a must or why food is served with the spoon turning in the opposite direction. Its all because during the time of 13 days, when the spirit has to be sent away and cannot hang around the house, we do all of this to send them away, to show them they are uninvited and not to encourage them to stay behind. In India, traditional India, leaving the hair loose is equated to looking like a pishacha(meat eating demon). Being well dress, with bindi, is a mark of respect to invite a guest, and when it comes to a spirit that needs to be sent away, the reverse is done. 

It made me wonder, how could I do that to her, whether she was in human form or another state. She was grand mom, and disrespecting her in her spirit state... didn't feel right. The whole task of bidding her good bye left me uneasy, not because of the concept of death, but more about how we treat the dead in their next state. It was so unfriendly, and so rude, to shoo someone out just because they are not "human" anymore. How wrong was that. 

But she taught me something more serious, and that was the association of Lord Shiva with this whole process. The homa to Lord Shiva, the recitation of the Rudram, the offerings to the great fire made Him so real, as the subtle force that guided her through her journey to the abode of the Gods. The Lord of destruction sounds scary to the uninitiated, but to me, He appeared like the only truth I need to know. He became my purpose, He added meaning to my life, He made me realize just how distracted I really am. 

Pati taught me more through her death than through her life. She introduced me to the sacred book of the dead, the Garuda Purana. Believe me, its by far one of the best books am reading. Her lesson to me is not over, far from over. Her voice rings in my mind, she smiles at me through her photo, my darling Pati... I only wish we all had been kinder to her in her living days. We probably wouldn't curse ourselves so much after she went. 

Clearly, I haven't identified death earlier as much as I did now. I have lost people, close friends... but none came so close to teach me lessons with their death. I have been thinking so much on death, I have realized there is no point hanging on to life. Death will come when it has to, and there is nothing, absolutely nothing that can stop it. The only thing I really need to gear myself up to is how to look death in the face, smile and accept it as my transformation towards spiritual progress, when it shows up. 

And Pati was my first teacher to introduce me to this subtle truth that looms around us, waiting for its turn to make its presence felt. 

Lord Jagannath - The Divine Mystic

So many years have gone by as I reflect on the Great Lord Jagannath. He has made such a presence in my world, so silent and yet so sure. He came into my world when I was a little girl, growing up in Ranchi in my early years of school. I didn't know him much then except that he lived in a small fort up on a low hill in Ranchi. It was an immensely pleasurable ride to go to the temple of Jagannath every Sunday without fail, and what was the attraction?

The temple had 2 flight of steps, one concrete and the other was just rocks. I loved climbing up the rocky steps and when we reached on top, there was this small but really gorgeous fort that opened its big gates to us. The central shrine had a grand stair way that led up to it and each chamber led into the next, with demi-gods in their niches welcoming us as we walked past into the darkness. And finally the dim lamps lit up the sanctum, a silent sanctum, hardly visited by many people. And Lord Jagannath sits there, ever smiling, impacting my little life preparing me for all that was coming by. 

What appeared to be nostalgia initially transcended into a deeper state of gratitude, a state of sublime. To think that Lord Jagannath, this form of divinity, this spiritual power has always made a presence in my life whether i felt it or not consciously, leaves me rather speechless. Its not about an idol, it not about a school of thought, it not about a belief system that has been drilled into our heads from childhood. No, this is none of those prescriptive ways of existence as we know it. This is different, truly different. 

Fate took me to this little town to witness his presence the first time around. While I heard about Puri, I didn't get a chance to go there. But the Jagannath of Ranchi, was just as welcoming. Fate brought me back again towards him after so many years, this time with greater force. He is not just a belief, he is not just a ritualistic idol, he is not just a mythology dolled up within four walls. Alas, if only you could see what I see... 

He is my path to spiritual mysticism, he is the one who asks of me my complete love in surrender. He is the one who asks of me my life, my prana. He is the one who makes me realize, the noise around me...is just noise, trivial and potentially a complete waste of time. And yet, he has placed me within this world, to live with all, to live among all, with a mind that doesn't agree with what the rest think. I don't understand your world as you don't understand mine. 

And it doesn't matter. Nothing matters. What matters is the Lord's repeated presence in my world. He disappeared for a good 20 years only to reappear in my world with a complete jolt. One that transformed me, made me discard my previous state of mind and gave me a whole new universe to work with. He is a silent player. And how well he has made me change, gradual, sure footed, complete. 

What an amazing journey this has been, mind you, not very easy. Spiritualism needs nerves of steel, or maybe just a different mind set. It is a world where fear doesn't count, rules hardly matter and people ... are the imprisoning world built into maya. We live outside this madness, walk into it occasionally, but remain untouched by it. 

When the Lord is with us, things do start to look different. Refreshingly different. The great mystic, the great Tantrik, the Great Lord Jagannath takes us through. Jai Jagannath! 

Vamsa - A Journey Into One's Own Self

Vamsa - Quest for the Divine Calling is a fiction story that has been stitched together to make us think a bit - this has been the core objective of Vamsa since when I penned it down. It started with initial excitement of wanting to share my understanding of the faith with everyone around me, as I discovered it, but soon the sensationalism got overpowered by a deep sense of purpose. I grew up as I realized what the faith was actually trying to tell me. 

The story brings in various characters, all of whom have been painted to have characteristic natures that we see in our society today, well we are all human, are we not. And yet, in this so well understood statement, there is a deeper truth most of us overlook, the journey towards discovering one's true nature which has not even been tapped yet! 

Vamsa - Quest for the Divine Calling is a journey into realizing the basics of one's own nature. It is our temperament to be human, it is in us to take a few things for granted, but it is also part of our nature to question every action we have taken and question every thought we have entertained. It is our thoughts and our action that frame our destiny and between these two aspects we lead what we call - life. 

The journey into Vamsa, is the journey of trying to understand our own spiritual paths. While we need not subscribe to any one school of thought, it is in our nature to look up to certain phenomenon as super natural since we don’t have the complete understanding of it. And while we are at it, it would be a good idea to stop and look at ourselves, freezing time, freezing action and freezing thought for a short while. 

The characters in the book, are etched out of our own basic nature. We will relate to all or some of them, we will find a piece of ourselves in their search within the realm of this book. Vamsa builds more than one world, and poses a simple question, what is reality? Where do we really belong and who are we in the larger scheme of things. While a larger part of the story is fictitious with generous doses of mythology, it does ask a few hair raising questions on whether we have got our act right or are we just floating in time, like puppets  with no control on our future.

Vamsa is an intense concoction of thriller, mythology and deep emotions, all brought into a potpourri of spiritual fiction. For those who don’t care for spiritualism, it’s an interesting story; for those who do, there are enough insights to pick. For those who are deep into the faith, watch out... there are few secrets sprinkled for you to catch, if you care to look hard enough!

Happy reading and catch the reviews here from those who have already made this journey.