Along the stone walls Srinivasan walked, trying to listen to the sound reverberating within them. People busily rushed ahead of him, pushing him aside trying to catch that quick glimpse of the Lord. They walk out just as fast as they stepped in and he wondered whether they ever even cast an eye with reverence on this beautiful form of the Lord, for if they did that, they wouldnt even want to come out of this sacred earthly home.Srinivasan now made his way towards Lord Shiva's shrine. The place, a mundane temple with a mundane idol with mundane people on a mundane day, there was nothing special about it and yet he felt something different. He had been here before, he knew every form of every God in here and yet the ambience within seemed to welcome him, a little different and yet special welcome that he seemed to have longed for.
He stepped in, catching the first glimpse of the Lord seated on his throne, his earthly peetha within the sanctum. His heart melted, and his eyes welled up with tears though he couldn't understand why he felt such emotion. The fire within the sanctum looked pure, the Lord looked simple yet divine in his attire and the air inside felt still.
He stared at the lamp lights dance graciously around the Lord, he thought hard looking at the fire...
The fire burns gentle as a lamp light for the Lord
The fire burns hard as it eats into flesh turning it to ash
The water, pure and crystal clear bathes the Lord
This same water consumes the ashes of man to deliver him to heaven
The air is here still and fragrant with floral offerings and incense
The same air is a grim reminder of death as the pyre burns
The earth holds the shakti of these earthly shrines
The same earth gives a bed for the burning departed soul
The ethereal presence of the Lord in his home here is felt so strong
The same ethereal state is so hard to achieve.
Srinivasan looked up as the priest held up the arti within. The flames lit up the glowing face of the Lord, among the flowers and vilva that decked his form. Srinivasan's heart was heavy with emotion, for he didnt know how to perceive the Lord anymore. This was strange love, love that made him suffer, love that made him ache to leave his earthly self and want to be ever present at the Lord's feet.Srinivasan had had mixed emotions towards the Lord, he harboured various feelings towards the Lord and each expression of love made the Lord play various roles deep within his emotions. He felt Santa Bhava, where he was the eternal child, in the lap of the Lord who loved him and protected him as his very own. He felt he had been cursed to now live with this limited consciousness so far away from his divine father.
Srinivasan felt like a willing slave, the eternal servant who wished he could bathe and decorate all those present within the sanctum of the Lord. He wished he could live within, in the temple lighting the lamps, singing hymns to the Lord, bathing his various forms, the Trimurti, Kala Bhairava, Devi, Lingodhbhava, the 63 Nayanars, Ganesha, and the numerous Shiva Lingas that dotted the heavenly precinct. He craved to perform alankara, to drape the Lord in silks and flowers and sing to him in devotion as he decorated him. What enormous pleasure he would get to just clothe the Lord in his sacred garments and be his faithful servant. He felt a deep sense of Dasya Bhava as he humbly folded his hands in front of the Lord.
Srinivasan had felt Sakhya bhava, at rare moments when he had mentally demanded the Lord's attention as his closest friend whose help he needed. He had called His name to help him in his moments of distress. He called to the Lord, looking for him in desperation as he helplessly faced his circumstances. His heart was overwhelmed with the experience he had felt when the Lord listened and gave him the solution in the most unusual way possible. He whispered in his thoughts leaving Srinivasan awestruck that such experiences are even possible.
But most of all he felt love, pure love. The type of love that made him want to live every day with enthusiasm because he felt that Lord Shiva was always with him. He felt it in the events that unfolded in the day, he felt it in the way people reacted towards him, he felt it in the air that surrounded him, Lord Shiva was always there. His faith towards Lord Shiva was unshakable, his love for the lord was undying and his attitude towards the lord was one of protection and loving care. He felt the sweetness in the experience, he felt beauty in his presence and the thought of the Lord next to him made him divinely estatic. This was madhurya bhava. Eternal love, eternal bliss where the Lord occupied every thought in his mind.
Srinivasan walked around the shrine, circumambulating it and adouring every form of the Lord he crossed. He looked up with reverence and respect towards every saint present in there wondering whether he would ever reach that state.
He walked up to Nataraja, he had never seen someone so handsome, so charming, so graceful and yet so peaceful. His heart yarned for the Lord, Nataraja, Oh how he wished he could step onto that stage and dance with him, witness the grace of Ananda Tandava, be a part of the grand Shiva family that resides here within these walls.
Srinivasan's heart ached as he moved away from Nataraja, for he felt Nataraja looked straight at him, he felt the charm envelop him, he felt the presence awaken him like a dialog that seemed to rise within himself, between them as they stared at each other. He was numb with bliss, he was overwhelmed with love, he was sinking into a pool of ecstacy. Such love had never overpowered his emotions, such love had never made his feet weak, such love had never made him swoon so much. This was honey sweet, this was beyond words, this was paradise on earth, this was beyond the maya of mundane life... this was consciousness.
Photo courtesy:Flickr Photo stream: shrirang k
12 comments:
In 'my' childhood's remotest memory 'I' can only recall findng myself in one Square in a Govt. Colony in New Delhi. It was from here that we used to visit our hometown in the cool hills during summer vacations with parents and passed many days with uncle's family, like tourists...There our next door neighbour was also a relative, but even today 'I' don't know the exact relationship. 'I' remember that He taught me the 'varnmala' (alphabets) in Hindi in an interestring manner. It was through short lines in a sing song style, in the order in which the letters appeared. To cut the story short, the first time 'I' heart 'Nata' mentioned was the line corresponding to letter 'na', ie., 'Nata naache rassi per chardhake/ Pakardo bhage jaate lardke (as the next line, indicated here to show how the lines were rhymed)..."
Of course, those days in New Delhi also some local troupes from some nearby villages used to perform shows where some persons used to do tight rope walking...Thus when 'I' saw Nataraj Shiva, 'I' got reminded of those people...and can imagine how Shiva has managed very close balance in 'Nature', all elements carrying out assigned tasks religiously to keep the cycle running eternally...
Beautifully conveyed Kavitha. Such is the overpowering love needed to commune with the divinity within. And that is the reason all Jeevatmas are called women and brides to the Ultimate and only Bridegroom, the Paramatma. The saint Akka Mahadevi has sung many lines epitomising this Bhava. And there's that lovely Thevaram song:
"Kaathalaagi Kasinthu Kanneer malgi
Othuvaar thammai nannerikku uyppathu
Vetham Nanginum meiporulaavathu
Nathan namam namacchivaayavey."- the gist being: The lord who is essence of all vedas embraces the one who simply melts in love for him, teary eyed in emotion.
It is the purest form of love, the closest experience to it being the overwhelming, all consuming love a new mother feels for her just born baby, who is a tiny representation of divinity itself.
Hi Yosee, Nice words, "The lord who is essence of all vedas embraces the one who simply melts in love for him, teary eyed in emotion." (In HIndi, it is said "khushi ke ansoo", ie., tears do not convey pain only, there could be tears in one's eyes in a state of happiness also (of course, there might be 'alligator-like tears' also shed by some at times...)
'I' would add that that's the concept of Vedant, i.e., realisation with experience the existence in reality of the one and only one', called God, as Formless, also called the 'Absolute Truth'...
And all other forms in the universe, although appearing 'real' to all 'inferior animal forms', in reality are illusory, ie., momentary images of the unique Supreme Being!
Thus believably it is only a matter of tuning of mind...and realising the truth as reverse of our general belief...
'I' would thus say 'Satyam Shivam Sunderam' in reality conveys that the unique one who is immortal (formless energy, 'Sati', that is 'Shakti' or energy, of Hindu mythology) is the Absolute Truth and it alone is beautiful...beauty here expressed in terms of love, just as you too say, between mother and her unborn infant...for at that stage the mother apparently has no selfish interest, which gets generated when it is already born, ie., when the apparent duality begins...
'I' have seen the practice for 'sandhya' at home by 'my parents'. Those days our kitchen, and also bathroom, had their respectrive entries from the back veranda that opened to a courtyard, which had a high wall at one end...whereas the 'puja room' was approachable by a corridoor that connected the veranda to the sitting room in the front, on its left side...
The compound wall was used by us boys for reaching the roof for flying kites, say for example, and by cats also sometimes for moving from one house to the other...Our father' presented an ideal model of concentration, as he could be seen completely absorbed in whatever thoughts he apparently had in his head when he sat in front of the different images and idols of different deities. Whereas, my mother's ears were also constantly tuned to the sounds outside the room, specially the kitchen. For we would hear her many times request us to shoo the cat away, as it always waited for an opportunity to enter the kitchen and drink the milk - and succeeded on many occasions! For those days fridge was a rare commodity in an average Indian home and milk remained in a pot in the kitchen itself...
From 'my' observations, 'I' could conclude that the purpose of 'puja' was to perform minimum innoucuous physical actions that engaged for some time all the five physical senses together in order to gradually become immune to the 'outside world' and thus get connected with the 'inner self' that is attached to 'zero' time and space...
It is the variety of external noises/ sources of distraction of mind, through other physical senses also, that don't permit the 'seeker' to hear the 'Shesha', or the balance of the original Brahmnad - that had belivably gone into the 'creation' (also reflected say by 'Diwali Crackers') - within each human form...
The sages, therefore, advised one to select some peaceful location and then try listening to the sound within, (which 'I' read in one of the Upnishads), by closing the right ear...and as per 'my' experience, 'I' sometimes hear an amplified sound, say when some instrument is being played on TV/ radio, just like when a tuning fork is vibrated in close vicinity of another having the same frequency, the other one also starts vibrating, called 'sympathetic vibrations'...And, 'I' have already earlier narrated how 'I' had heard on two occasions: just one word, and a few years later in another locatin, a few lines of a song - as if issuing from some unseen source close to my left ear...
'My' idea of stating the above is to convey the feelings/ bhav that 'I' experienced even on these two occasions also, which 'I' cannot express/ convey to another in words...that 'Srinivasan' apparently similarly felt in the presence of the deity in a temple...Thus the feeling can get generated even when one isn't really looking at some material form, maybe while located in a crowd...
From 'my' own experience, 'I' have come to believe Him/ It to behave like a child, who, when it receives appreciation of say some art-work, from an elderly person, then it continues to show all its paintings etc. from time to time to that person...
Hi Kavitha, There are no comments to the contrary, no questions and nothing further added by you or any of your visitors...
Anyway continuing, 'I' feel 'I' was lucky to have attended a lecture given by Pandit Onkar Nath Thakur, a famous vocal Hindustani classical music exponent...
'I' learnt from him how 'Aryans' were apparently advanced and prepared different compositions, or 'ragas' for different time of the day, season, moods etc. that were basically designed to help upllift the soul of the listeners, humans or 'inferior animals' even!
In this context, one can recall the popular incident related with competition between Tansen, official musician in Akbar's court, and Baiju Bawra (the 'eccentric' student of Sant Haridas, the sage who had also taught Tansen once upon a time): it is said that Baiju overshadowed Tansen. For he could make it rain to cure Tansen when he had become ill due to heat generated in the process of presenting 'raga deepak', that believably lighted all lamps (divas) without using any external 'material' tool as a source of fire. And also even melted a hard stone, that Tansen had failed to do! And that even deers got attracted!
When recently 'I' had visited Fatehpur Sikri and saw the reported loction as it stands today (that 'I' indicated earlier in your blog then also), it failed to make the same expected feeling or 'bhav' arise in 'my heart', although it just helped 'me' appreciate the historical evidence - to some extent...It's just like 'foreigners', and even locals, visiting our ancient temples, and each reporting in their own words what they saw as it stands today, the grand structures or their remanants for apreciating the grandeur of which, in the 'advanced past', one needs to use his/ her own imagination...
In this regard, there is a story about a poet who described existing heaven within an emperors large jurisdiction, say like the once upon a time Shrinagar, Kashmir!
The emeror was surprised to hear it, paid a heavy prize to the poet and proceeded with his caravan. And. after many days of travel, to his dismay he found it was only a desert land!
Thus many have felt that words help generate 'maya' or illusion only as these can describe only that which appears in physical form, but fail when it comes to describing the unseen or the abstract...and unfortunately the Absolute Truth comes in that category...
Also 'I' was lucky to hear Swami Ranganathananda also once tell that we Indians (compared to the 'west') are good at going around the bush, but fail to tell exactly where the shoe is actually pinching!
'I' should have perhaps mentioned that being a 'spiritual person', related with Rama Krishna Mission, the Swami was talking only about 'spiritual' and not 'material' reflection thereof...And, it obviously reaches our 'differently designed senses', which makes it appear different to different individuls. For it depends on one's 'thought plane', which apparently evolves in 'normal persons' with experience/ 'education' over time, according to which one tends to analyse any information received (like a jaundiced eye sees only yellow, and in Hindi there is a saying that a person gone blind during rains sees only green) and, therfore, concludes/ accepts differently if mentally not that elevated 'naturally', or if a lock gets applied in the mind at a certain stage leading to a certain rigidity...thus the saying, Hari anant, Hari katha ananta...and the concept of 'differently elevated souls'...and only one Supreme Knowlege, or Divine Person...
Ultimately, 'Srinivasan' is left to wonder why others do not get the same feeling of love for the divinity using the temple and its idols as media...'Yogiraja Krishna' could say that 'He' (the most evolved Being, Yogeshwar Vishnu/ Shiva the formless) is within all beings/ non beings even...then why go to a temple at all?!! In the Gita he says all wrong acts result from lack of knowledge...
The above is 'my understanding of the Truth' spoken loud. And, being an eccentric, like all others humans 'I' might be absolutely wrong. So no ill feelings or 'bhav' please!
"To err is human and to forgive divine."
'Apsmara Purush' or 'forgetful person' that 'we' all are, 'we' cannot reconcile with the fact that 'we' all are 'His Own Images' - each reflecting some stage in the evolution from 'imperfect most' stage at the beginning of the 'churning of the milky-ocean' (beginning of Kaliyuga) to the 'perfect' stage of immortality even in the physical form of the members of 'our solar system'...
In view of the above, 'we Indians' (all terrestrials) at any time other than Satyuga believably remain confused due to 'poison' that had emerged at the beginning of the churning and expect a 'democratic government' formed by confused humans to expect say getting rid of 'poverty'...as a part of 'my' loud thoughts 'I' give below a reaction to an article appeared in newspaper...
This refers to subverse Garibi Hatao-ed by Bachi Karkaria (April 25).
Garibi (shortage) is of two kinds: Spiritual, and Material.
A sage would say, Bachhi, the problem is #1 Material can be seen because of ‘maya’, but Spiritual cannot be – it needs to be inferred, like the presence of a ‘black hole’ in space: when stars get lost in it (like Raj Kapoor and many others, although they might appear to come alive when their film is projected on a screen, or TV/ PC monitor…)
#2 Material is unfortunately dependent on Spiritual only.
#3 Spiritual is immortal and therefore cannot be ‘hatao-ed’ – it alone remains even when material is all hatao-ed, as it was in the beginning also before it thought of fooling ‘us’, humans…
As 'my' loud thought, 'I' revert to the Gita, (that helped change, at least, 'my attitude' or generate love for His creation, or a feeling of 'bhav', of equal status between a dust particle and egoistic man'), where mischievous 'Krishna' says He can be reached by anyone irrespective of one's caste, creed, faith, status in the 'material world', etc, maybe through different paths, notably through 'theoretical knowledge', or 'jnan'; 'applied knowledge', or 'vijnan'. However, He likes best the 'devotee' who 'surrenders in Him' (like a sheep follows its leader - to the peak, or to the 'dark' abyss!)...
For information of 'pure Shaivites', the Gita indirectly indicates Four-handed Vishnu's 'virat' or enlarged form represented by the 'dark universal void', and also Shiva's four-handed essential form represented by planet Earth, in the words of 'west', whereas, for a 'true Hindu', He is 'Gangadhar' who holds the 'Holy Ganga', and is called as well 'Chandrashekhara' who drinks 'somrus' (that is in reality 'moonllight', and is confused with alcoholic drinks by an 'average human being'), and yet ever remains a 'cool dude, for He ever has a cool head because of essence of moon housed in His 'sahasrara chakra' that always remains 'activated' unlike 'us' the 'mortals':)
As 'I' believe it, as per my loud thoughts, 'Bhava', in the present context, literally means respect and regard in one's mind for a superior being, that is, an 'elevated soul' - being attempted to generate in a 'devotee', say through the medium of a deity in a grand edifice, called temple, as Kavitha presents in the post, although one knows that the style of worship has also evolved with time from open spaces to material structures, which however can be seen even in the 'present' in some pockets in some 'backward areas'...and obviously it is beyond words as it is purely an abstract thought...still words are required if one wants to convey to others the apparent symptoms of it in the concerned's exterior appearance...
At this juncture, 'I' recall that Sant Tulsidas (of Tulsikrit Ramayana fame) also attempted to generalise it by saying, to the effect, that its all a matter of one's mental state/ imagination power ('bhavna') how one imagines the figure of God...
Even otherwise 'Hindus' generally believe Fish ('magarmachha' or crocodile) as the first avatar, or reincarnation, of Vishnu; Tortoise as the second; 'Varah', or Pig, as the third; 'Narasimha', or half man & half lion, as the fourth; and so on till Krishna as the 8th and the most evolved human form of 'Vishnu'/ 'Shiva'...of course, there are exceptions to all rules...As per the general 'Hindu belief', the variety in 'Nature' is illusory, created by the formless 'Supreme Soul', or 'paramatma', whose component is present within all physical forms, for some unknown purpose - not made known even to the 'wisest of wise'...and therefore generally believed as unborn and unending (energy form, or 'Spirit', called Bhootnath Shiva the 'Lord of ghosts')...
Those words and emotions replicate those from kalasha of my heart.
Mad for Mahadev
SoulSadhak
bhootanatha = lord of the bhootas (as in panchabhootas)
....jagame nadipe pa~nchabhuuta lingeswara karuNinchara ...
Mad for Mahadev
SoulSadhak
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